have_u_seen_or

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

I met Roger in 1990, in Springfield Missouri; while working in Ministry and a Shelter for the Homeless. It was during a period of time in my life that had no room for any thought of relationship and any such likeness was far from my mind. But as time went on we became friends and found we had many of the same interests and spent many hours in discussion of various things; which in the long run made me realize; this man had another "side" to him; that was much deeper; and obviously not seen by the average person he might meet.

He was just a country guy at heart and had alot of problems; in his life; (that I did not know of at the time); but circumstances and time brought us together and our life began to wrap around one another. We finally married; even though I was very hesitant; especially after having had an car accident that was to leave me disabled and no longer able to do the many things we enjoyed together. Yet to Roger that made no difference; as he insisted he loved me regardless, of all the physical problems.

This turned out to be a real difficult marriage; and often we were separated due to the varied problems, my health included; and Roger's difficult habit of dishonesty about certain things at times. I only found out recently about his extensive trauma, and what he had endured for so many years. Not that it necessarily excused his behavior by any means, but; did explain the background and root of all the problems. Perhaps if I had experienced the same things; I would have felt compelled as he did to; "try and be"=== something else; someone else; who at least as he felt, was on equal basis to all those around him. He was very insecure. It is sad that his whole life was spent in such inner turmoil, as he was a "loving person" and would do anything he could for anyone; anywhere__anytime. He had one of the kindest hearts of anyone I had ever met. His absense in this life; is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, partly due to the fact I have many regrets to live with. First and foremost a lack of understanding and patience with other peoples problems. A lesson I hope__-for others as well as myself; who may take a little too much time; dwelling on the imperfections of people unlike themselves.

We each are important; and of equal status as humans; regardless of money; race, education; or position in society. If any think differently, I challenge you to realize your misunderstanding of the high value of humanity and its wonderful individuality.

Before his death; Roger and I wanted to do a site together that was a little different from what we had observed; and that accessed many different things.. Through the years we both had changed our rule of thinking and general philosophies after having learned alot of new information by research and traveling a great deal throughout this country. We were priviledged to have met many wonderful people; from the 'well known'; to the "down and out"--and to have had access to the best in the field of our interests, but we were terribly disturbed by what we found in far too many areas of this nation.

It was always amazing to us, at the lack of understanding, and downright ignorance, of people, toward what goes on around them; even within their close proximity. This is not meant to demean anyone; but we truly wondered how it could be; that so many of our American people simply do not really see what is going on; or seem to have the ability to think for themselves anymore, but rather are going about their daily lives__ like "sheeple";-- having a "ring in their nose"--led by certain factions; the media and societies tradition; regarding everything from politics to religion.

Tradition seems to always be at the core of everything; and "heaven_forbid" that anyone break from this "Pied-Piper"__mentality.

We encountered much bias on all manner of subjects; the conflict often seeming to stem from only average menial topics. We could not agree on so many things with people we came in contact with; based on simple logic; reason and insight; and this is what motivated us, to do more study and research, not only on religion, but politics, and national concerns as well. We also found many others expressing deep concern as to where we were headed; as a nation, and how far removed from facts__ and the real issues the country's media; (that hold such power over the people) had strayed.
The often heated debate that we witnessed; and informational conflict was of such magnitude at times, that we both were in awe, of what we had seen; heard and felt.

We never claimed to be more educated; nor were we of higher intellectual understanding than those around us. We were simple folk who just wanted to get to the facts; and "back to basics"; and were determined to find all we could. We had colided with enough "discrepancy and disarray" of information; to sink a battleship. So we embarked on a journey of much research and study to learn all we could.
I , myself, had always been an avid researcher amd loved to investigate. So my journey had started much earlier into the areas of politics and religion. What I discovered not only made me sick at heart, but also angry; to think, so many Americans; in this wonderful land of the "Brave and the Free"--were living behind a "cloak" of disinformation, and unreality.

When my husband Roger and I first met, we were at odds with one another over certain issues. (Although he too; saw through some of the ridiculous information we were being handed)
However as time went on; we grew together; as he came to see; as I had discovered, how far off so many things had gone. Everything from the simple amenities of life to the most profound of issue.

Hence the reason for this site. We had hoped to expose more of what truly IS going on; and to also have some fun along the way.

After all; life has become pretty complicated for everyone; and without some laughter and music; none of us could possibly survive; the onslaught of today's reality.

And so I will to the best of my ability, do what I can; to display many of the things we had discovered and felt;-- that needed to be seen, by others.

Yes Roger has left this earth, and I miss him greatly; but I feel his memory should remain, not only for his family; but for the principals he stood for as well. Ironically during his final days; he had become a staunch advocate for truth.

This is for you......Roger V Lange and we pray that you finally__ Rest in Peace
All My Love----- Ruthie

Ruthann's Lyrics and poems
written in late years, and months