June 21, 2008

Is it sad that I can go a month with out a single blog worthy event? Oh well. So I've got school all worked out and I'll be graduating at the end of the next semester. Woot! The plan after that is to go to school in Arizona with Mina. I think it will do my life good, the change in scenery. Any who on to the next thing. So there have been a couple things that weren't quite right with me for a bit and I think I'm finally figuring out the causes. I've fixed the one thing and thats already made me feel better, and no I'm not going to say exactly what that is cause I don't feel like it. All y'all need to know is that its made me feel a little more right with my self and I'm hoping to continue with the progress.
So later this week the gang and I will be going to medieval times to celebrate Ash's birthday, so excited about that one. Any way thats all thats really going on with me. Hope everyone is having a good summer. Miss you Mina

Ciao

May 17, 2008

Just a short one today, don't really have that much to say. Things have been going pretty well lately the semester is over which is always a good things. My plans for school might have been pushed back and extra semester cause stupid CCM doesn't have 2 of the last 3 classes I need to graduate, I'm looking into alternatives like taking classes at another school or getting down on my knees and begging my professor to let me graduate any way.
And now on to something completely different. You all need to check out this awesome band called "The Hush Sound" they are fucking amazing. AMAZING!!!! They have been around for a bit but I only just recently heard one of their tracks which sent me for a search for all of their music. These people rock. Its a four person band with two main singers, though all of them do contribute their voices to the music, One is female, Greta who also plays piano and guitar and one is male Bob who also plays guitar. The other two boys Darren and Chris play drums and bass respectively and as I said sing. Check out their website, thehushsound.com

Ciao

April 14, 2008

Firstly sorry for not updating all that often its just my day to day life is rather boring and most of you are there to share it with me. Anywho on to what I'm blogging about tonight.
I feel like I'm crazy or something I have no reason to be depressed about anything yet here I am sitting in my room wanting to cry cause I don't know what else to do. For the most part things have been going well, well except for one thing. Once again I let my self fall for a boy and once again I got led around until they were bored and confessed that there was another girl, but again I'm not mad at said boy just at my self and sad that this has happened once again. I mean really now how can this happen to me twice, it fucking sucks. I don't want this to bother me I refuse to let it but of course what should I want matter my fucking subconscious will do what ever the fuck it wants like always and leave me hung up this boy for a while longer all the while making me fucking crazy. I'm tired feeling like I'm alone. I know I'm not I have all of you and I know that I'm cared for and loved but for some reason thats not getting though. Or I guess that I'm looking for something different.
Now I'm just rambling, I'm gonna sign off before I say something really stupid.

Ciao

February 4, 2008

So things have been going pretty well right now. The semester started and so far I like all my class, can't say the same about my teachers though. You ever been so bored and annoyed with the way a person talks and explains things that you want to take your pen and stab it through your own ears so you just don't have to listen to them any more, well thats how my one teacher makes me feel. Which is upsetting cause I like the subjects that he teaches. Oh well nothing I can do about it though. Umm.. lets see is there anything else. Oh I got a new car, shes a 1992 Mercury Capri and Jess has christened her Ami, if you have ever watched Sailor Moon you'll get it. Its a tiny little convertible, I think it fits me well. I think thats really all thats happened in my life since my last blog.

Ciao

January 13, 2008

I'm constantly fuck things up royally. I don't even have to do anything to do it. All I have done today is work and sit in my room and I still manage to almost completely ruin a very good friendship. I never meant to hurt any one with any of the things I said in my previous blog. I was half dead and mostly sad when I wrote what I did. Most of it isn't even clean I'm sure. Things happened and I didn't know how to deal so I just let it spill. I forget that people actually read this thing that they can the pieces together and draw their conclusions and be hurt by the words, and rants that I write. I don't want to hurt people with the things I write here and if i have ever hurt you then I apologize.

Thats all for today Ciao

January 12, 2008

I miss the days when things were simple when I didn't lay awake at night looking back at all the decisions I have made over the last month wondering how things went so wrong. Months ago I ran away from something because it scared me and I wasn't ready for so I ran. But I stopped running I confessed every thing but now that I'm ready, now that I know what I want it was pulled right out from under me. I thought we were on the same track what I wanted was so close I could touch it but in the end it didn't matter, I didn't matter. Its not fair to blame it entirely on them I know that its partial my fault as well I wasn't upfront in the beginning I didn't explain everything. I pushed them away and now I'm paying the price. But I thought we had worked that out I thought that they understood that I really did care. I'm trying so hard not to let it effect me I'm trying so hard not to break down and cry. But it hurts so much. I was led to believe in them I thought I could trust what they told me I thought everything was ok now, that we were on the same page. I'm just tired of the lies tired of the false hopes and the twisted words that play with my heart oh so nicely. I just want someone I can trust someone I can trust my heart to someone I can actually believe when they tell me I care. I wish I wasn't so stupid I wish I didn't fall so quickly and care so much. I don't know how much more my heart can take I don't know how much more I can deal with without falling apart completely.
I should be sleeping right now. I need to be sleeping right now at least if I was asleep I wouldn't be thinking these thoughts maybe I would actually be dreaming for once.

December 28, 2007

Things have changed since I wrote here. I'm single now I actually broke up with Fred today. Things just weren't working. I feel bad about hurting him but I know that it was the best thing for both of us.
Christmas came and went. It was a good time I got to see my grandparents who live in Indiana. Its always nice to see them. Coming up on January 5th I'll be flying out to Arizona with Risa and Clara. We're visiting Mina and we'll be out there until the 11th.
Thats all for now really Ciao.

December 13, 2007

Hey y'all. Sorry for staying away for so long I didn't mean to I was just busy. So things are going well lately. The semester is almost over, YAY!!! Work is work. Things with Fred are going very well, I like him a lot. I really don't have anything else to say. Sorry I know this must be boring to read sometimes.

Thats all for today. Ciao.

November 11, 2007

The days before us bring so many trials that I wonder if any of it is really worth the effort that we put out. I find my self questioning some of the decisions that I have made over the past month. I ran from something because it scared me because of how it made me feel. I feel like I'm fucking up something else that I don't want to loose. I feel like I'm do the right and wrong thing all at the same time nothing seems to be the same any more. I have so many thoughts going on inside my head that I'm not sure which way is up and what path I want to take any more. I'm just lost.

Ciao
November 4,2007

So November is upon us and with it it brings long repressed feelings. I know most of you know that my mother is dead but what you may or may not know is that she died from suicide, she purposefully drank alcohol with her prescription medicine that in turn poisoned her. I love her and I miss her. I may not have really grown up with her but that never mattered to me, what mattered was those times we spent together. I wanted to see her all the time but we weren't allowed I'm not sure why that was. I resented that but I guess every one thought I was to young to have it explained to me. I never knew her as well as my siblings did and I was always upset by that. I remember for years I tried to talk about her with someone but I would never get any answers just vague statements that never told me about who my mother was. I learned over the years to stop asking questions because it just seemed to make every one so mad.
I remember making up stories about my mom just so things wouldn't seem so bad sometimes. But sometimes I couldn't keep the tears away with my false memories. It hurts so bad that I don't have almost no memories of my mother, who is supposed to be so important in a little girls life. I try to do things that remind me of her, thats why I dye my hair red and why I keep a picture of her hanging in my room. I've wished so many times for her to still be alive and for her and my dad to be together, but if wishes came true I wouldn't be sitting here typing this wanting so badly to cry but afraid to on the off chance that the parentals came in. My mother is a taboo in my own house how fucked up is that.
I can't wait to move out of here and get away form them, I'm not saying I don't love them because I do for all that they have done for me and are still doing, but they just don't understand what they have done to me and my siblings. We're all so messed up in the head that its not even funny. Angel doesn't feel welcome in a house full of family because the many times that Laura has persecuted her for trying to be her self. Tom doesn't even act like he's even still part of the family, he's never home anymore and I don't really know him at all any more.
And me, I'm not even sure what love is supposed to feel like. I hear my parents say I love you to my brother and sister, but then I hear Laura talking about Angel like she hates her and my father, who you would think would stick up for his child, sits there and listens and agrees with some of the things Laura says about Angel. I don't understand how you can say I love someone and then talk about her like that. I don't understand what love is really and sometimes it so apparent to me that I just feel so empty inside times like those made want to just give up, I felt like everything was a lie, my parents didn't love my, my friends didn't like me, I was no use to any one, why should I even be here its not like any one would ever miss me. I think I have those thoughts in my head all the time but for the most part I'm able to block them out and at least pretend to be a functioning part of society.
Now I hope that after reading this you don't think I'm being over dramatic or that you're going to tell me that its normal to feel this way, I know that it isn't. I'm sure each and every one of you know what love is supposed to feel like and that you feel safe and happy in your house with your family. Sure you may want to move out but thats because you want to be on your own and do things your own way. I want to leave my house so that I can escape the mental mind-fuck that is my family and all the false love and lies that go on in it. I try so hard to be who I am and it takes so much to be who I am and live with my parents all at the same time. Its to easy to slip up and spend a night crying in bed wondering why there is no love and why my family can't seem to work.

This is where I'll leave you tonight. Ciao.

October 14, 2007

Things are going fantastically well. I'm very happy. I now have a boyfriend who I absolutely adore and I believe he feels the same way. Fred is so completely awesome. YAY for me. Sorry about that as you can see I am a tad bit hyper today. Any who on to something new, I was a good hour and a half late today. GO ME!!!! I swear if it wasn't for me and Sean being there on Sundays Panera would go up in flames. Oh well every other day there isn't so bad it really just Sundays that are completely horrid. Over all it has been a very good week.
Yesterday kinda sucked 'cause I was stuck with the family all day and while yes I love them all to death I so can't handle them all with out Mina there to help me. Every one had to ask if I missed Mina and come on what kind of question is that, of course I miss Mina and every time they asked I was just it reminded me of how much I did miss my cuz. So by the end of the night I was practically in tears and just couldn't wait for my family to leave. Lucky that was over pretty early so I was able to go into my room and be by my self. Other than that everything is going well.

Thats all for today. Ciao

September 20, 2007

ARG!!!!!!! My entire accounting class is full of morons. Sorry just felt like getting that out. I'm good now. Thanks.

Thats all for today. Ciao

September 9, 2007

Sorry for not updating guys I'm just a tad busy at the moment and I forget about this sometimes. Any who lets get to the updates in my life, not that there are two many of them. School started and as I predicted my classes are mad boring with the possible exceptions of accounting and food production and management so WOOT!! Continuing on well actually thats about it. I did make some new friends but other than that thats I'll that has happened lately, which is probably another reason I don't update all that often there just isn't all that much going on with my life. But I must say that I am happy right now which is a good thing I've reconciled my self with the bad thing that happened over the summer and I'm over them and I'm going to move on and rise above the sadness that had taken over. No more crying no more questioning no more asking why. I'm done with that nothing is going to change and I have realized that and I'm okay with that now. I'm just gonna take life as it comes at me and hope for the best and at the moment things are going really good.

Thats all for today Ciao

August 21, 2007

So I actually got out of the house and did something this weekend. Well not really the weekend but Sunday and Monday. On Sunday Jess, Ash, Gary, Gary's brother and cousin and I went to a Renaissance Fair in Tuxedo Park. I was lots of fun. I got hit on twice and got yelled at by a wench. Then we got to watch a guy blow him self up and I narrowly managed to stop my self from buying a real corset. Then on Monday Brad, Risa, Clara, Diana, James and I went to New Hope where we wondered around through the many shops. We spent a good deal of time in the sword shop and they tried to convince me to go into the sex shop, they failed. Then later that day we shared a Cold Stone cake which we killed, but it was so good. YAY CAKE!!!! Anywho thats all that I've done lately.

Thats all for today Ciao

August 14, 2007

I don't know what it is about this song but it touches my heart and soul like no other has in a long time so I decided to share it with the rest of you.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Your Guardian Angel

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I hope this touches you like it touches me.

Ciao

August 12, 2007

So Mina is gone now and I won't see her again until Christmas. I miss her so much already, I have no clue how I'm going to last that long. Its not going to be the same without her, whats going to happen to all the little psychic moments we used to have and my second home won't be that anymore with her gone. Who's going to make me late for everything . I'm just going to miss her so much.

Thanks for listening to my ranting.

Ciao

August 5, 2007

Sorry for not updating sooner but nothing has really happened. Yesterday a couple of us went to see the fifth Harry Potter movie and then we hung out at Mina's that was fun as always, Ashee powned my ass at karaoke revolution but thats ok I beat her on the last song. I'm existed that the sequel for a book I love came out today I plan on picking it up tomorrow when I try again to go see my adviser. Umm... nothing else has really happened. Oh I also added the first chapter of the Supernatural fan fiction Mina and I are writing, check it out.

So thats all for today, Ciao

July 30, 2007

Today was just god awful long. I went into school to go talk to my adviser so I can sign up for my classes, before this I spent a lot of time and a lot of frustration getting someone to cover my morning shift in order to go in and talk to this guy, and hes not there. Hes not where he said his office was so I wondered around the building trying to find him finally after like and hour and a half or so I gave up. Work wasn't to bad though I finally got to work crispani (pizza for those of you who don't know our fancy Panera words) so that was fun.

Thats all for today, Ciao.

July 29, 2007

Today was good. Work lasted a little to long but it wasn't to bad over all. Then I came home and showered. YAY for being clean. After that Brad and I met at Panera and hung out for a while. We just talked and shared a crispani but it was fun. We had some very odd and occasionally dirty conversations. Over all it was a good time.

July 28, 2007

So today was one of the good days. Work went well it was slow and I got another chance to work with Rick, a manager that used to work at our store, he's awesome and a fun guy to work with. After that I went to Jess' where we hung out for a while before going to see the Simpson's Movie, it was hilarious. I manged to keep my thoughts away from my problems until the drive home. Once again I felt close to tears but I refused to let them fall. I'm trying to be strong though I'm failing miserably but I push forward and live my life from day to day.

That's all for today, Ciao

July 27, 2007

I've decided to reopen Hathors Accolite now known as Fairies Dream. I'm getting tired of myspace but I still want to have a place to write out my thoughts and say the things that I'm to scared to say out loud. So if your reading this now I guess it means you actually do care about me and what not and thank you. What I plan to do is actually keep this updated and I'm going to totally revamp the site and make it something that reflects my current state of being. Some of you will recognize the post below as a blog I did on myspace and I wanted to move it hear because it says a lot of things that I want known but am to much of a coward to say out loud to the people that it pertains to I'm hoping that they have or will read it.
So for an update on how I'm doing; not well in all honesty. I'm not gonna lie I'm not moving on from Sam and I hate my self for it he doesn't need my pathetic latching on that I'm currently engaging in. I just don't understand how I let my self fall so quickly and completely for him. At first I wouldn't let my self I kept telling my self that it was to good to be true and that he's going to leave you just like every one else but I stopped believing that way to quickly. I believed him when he said that he would never leave me and that he cared about me. But no that dream came crashing down just like all the others but this time it hit me so much harder than any of the others. Not all days are bad, some days I can forget about the wanting and the broken pieces that used to be my heart and those are the days that I can laugh and joke and just smile without it all feeling like some facade that I show my friends so they don't worry about me. Then there are the days that its all I can do not to cry. The other night we (Jess, Gary, Ash, Craig and Me) went to dinner at Olive Garden and we had a long ass wait so I went to Borders to get my self a new book as bit of a pick me up and also, though I didn't want to admit it to my self, to see Sam 'cause I knew that he was working at the time. Well I found the books I wanted and then it honestly took me about 5 minutes to actually approach the register where Sam was. I made my self smile and say his name and hug him when inside I was crying and screaming at my self. I made my self talk to him like I didn't have a care in the world and pretend that he did nothing to me. I just want him back so bad and I hate the fact that I do and that I can't give him what he wants and just be the friends that we were once upon a time. But we aren't we barely talk and I know that that is due to his new job and that new job is part of the reason we are no longer together, thats all he does apparently, work, either at his new job or at Borders. I wish things could go back but I know that they will never be the same. I have to move forward with my life and accept the changes but I just can't seem to do it. I want to be over him and I want to be able to see him without feeling like falling apart afterwards I hate my self because I can't seem to do it.
I know that was a bit ramblely but its what needed to be said. I want to thank all of you that did read this and I want you to know that I appreciate the fact that you actually do care about me.

June 30, 2007

I don't want to say these things out loud but keeping them bottled up is killing me. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and I'm sorry if I do, but these thoughts need to come out and this is my only outlet now that Mina is in paris. Firstly, I, in all honesty, hate the fact that Mina is moving to Arizona. I'm proud of her thats she's following her dream and doing what she wants but I feel like I'm going to loose her and I'll never be able to get her back. Sure we'll still see each other considering we're family and all but I feel like that close relationship that we have will dissapear. That our ability to say everything with out speaking more than two words. I don't know what I'll do when that's gone I love all of you but none of you can come close to what Mina and I have. She's my sister, friend and heterosexual life partner all wraped into one and I can't loose her I can't. I know most of you will say that there is nothing for me to worry about and that nothing could ever change about Mina's and mine relationship and I'm going to say this to you, I had a best friend before one who was to me what mina is to me now you want to know how close we are, we barley talk and I see her maybe two three times a year so yeah you can all be quiet on that front. Secondly, by now I'm sure all of you know that Sam and I are no longer together and if you don't well you do know, well any way back on track. I hate not being with Sam, hate it. I felt so different with him than any of my other boyfriends, and that good different not the bad different. I know that I should just back off, leave it alone and just come to terms that I can't have him, but its just so hard. I don't understand why I can't do it this time, I did it with Brad and every other guy but with Sam I just can't stop wanting to be with him, and I hate it. I get that he needs to figure his life out and that, apparently, being with me doesn't make him happy and he just needs time but I want that time to be over and I want to be with him again he's the first guy who was able to get to me so quickly I've never felt so strongly about some one in so short a time. I don't get it why did I have to get so attached to him I should have known that I would loose him too. Even after all the pain and heartache I've gone through I haven't learned my lesson. I care about him more than I should after the two months we were together, maybe I had those feelings before then and just wouldn't acknowledge them, who knows. As I sit here writing this I feel like crying all over again. But understand this I don't want to force Sam into doing anything he doesn't want to do, whether he comes back to me or doesn't is his choice but I'll be waiting for him if he wants me. Lastly, I just feel terrible, angry and utterly depressed, as stated above my best friend is leaving and my boy friend just broke up with me. I can't handle all of this and it feels like every thing is falling apart around my feet and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't want to be feeling any of these feelings I want to be happy for Mina and unstanding for Sam but this time I just can't bring my self to feel these things for them. I hate my self for it I feel like a selfish bitch and I don't deserve any of you. I just wish every thing was the way it was a month ago, sure Mina was still leaving but that time seemed so far way, but Sam and I were happy together, at least I thought we were and I was just happy, period. I want that feeling back.

April 16, 2006

HAPPY EASTER!!!!! Anywhoo as you can see we have new things going here at Hathors Accolite. I just want to say I will be trying but I might not be able to update all that often with all the stuff i have going on at the moment but ill do what i can so ttyl

Ciao

March 17, 2006

Yeah I know I haven't updated in like forever forgive me. I don't do it on purpose. I sorrta forget a bout my site. forgive me please.



October 18, 2005

My word has righted its self for the most part. Brad and I are back together and im working in pulling my self together. ive got as bit of work a head of me but it will work out. i hope

Ciao

October 17 2005

I feel like I'm fallin' apart. Today at school Larry tried to cheer me up cause i was down again, still. He was making jokes about how i could get Brad back like nock him aout and kidnapp him. i know he was trying to cheer me up but it just made me feel worse in the end so then i spent the rest of the day keeping from crying. why cant i just get past him why does he make me feel this way. Why.

Help

October 8,2005

I said when i first started this blog that i wasn't going to lie not to you and not to my self. That i would use this blog to say thing that i was to afraid to actually say out loud and I'm going to keep my word....I cant take it any more. I'm in love and i can't do any thing about it. He already knows that i love him and he SAYS he loved me but know it that doesn't seem to matter. I know i shouldn't be saying anything but i cant hold it in any longer. I see him almost every day and what i want to do is say is I Love You but all i CAN say is Hi. What i Want to do is hug him, hold his hand, kiss him but all I can do is walk by our sit near him during lunch. I just can't take it any more I had to let it out some how and this is one of my best outlets. When i say this to my other one I hear "oh don't feel that way hes not worth it" but he is and i love him so much. I know you may be reading this now and you know that this is addressed to you but i needed to tell you when you broke up with my it was one of the worst thing that have happened to me i still cry about it i even wrote a song about it that you may one day get to hear. And no I AM NOT SAYING THIS TO GET YOU BACK WITH ME. as you SHOULD know i wouldn't sink that low. I just needed to tell you be for i fell apart. i think that is enough for now. I just need to add one more thing please oh please don't alienate me because of this don't stop talking to me and don't walk away from me don't change your mind about still wanting to be friend please.

Ciao

October 1, 2005

Sorry guys i soo didn't mean to stay away for so long i just dont think about my site any more, other things on my mind. Any who not much is new I single now I work at Panera Bread and. well i'll really try not to stay awy for so long.

Ciao

May 16, 2005

My God I haven't blogged in such a long time i feel like i'm neglecting you peeps i'm sorry. Any whoo here's an update. Evi is doing great my sis is doing great i love seeing her more often now. umm.... well thats all i've got for now

Ciao.....I promise not to stay gone so long this time

March 25, 2005

Yay!!!!! My sis had her baby. Its a beautiful baby girl named Evelyn. 5 pounds 11 ounces. I'm in love with her already

Well thats all i got for now Ciao

Febuary 12, 2005

Today is my sis's b-day shes 21 now. the parentals are having her and her finance over for dinner and cake.

GUANGO GUANGO GUANGO!!!!! Orange* and i watch to much Stagateoh well... any who have a good day y'all

Ciao

January 17, 2005

I just did DDR for a hour and a half. and did End of the Century 5 times in a row. i am soo tired right now.

Well thats all for now... Ciao

January 16, 2005

So yeasterday Orange*, Clara and I were over at Risa'a house and we watched the extended version of ROTK. So much fun... Vigo kissed Billy!!!! Well any whoo i'll try to update soon

Ciao

December 29, 2004

Hey everyone. how was your x-mas. Jaws will be at her grandparents 'till saturday incase anyone cares. Brad and i have hit 2 months YAY!!! Well i'll see you all on monday

Ciao

December 5, 2004

Hey All. Wow i havent blogged in a while. Oh well. So yesterday was Snowland... Brad and I went it was really fun. I took me about 20 minuts to take out my hair though. I swear i had enough bobby pins in my hair to set off a metal detector.

Well Ciao for now

November 13,2004

Drama is doing soo well we will so be ready for opening night on friday. You all better come see it.

Well thats all for now Ciao

November 6,2004

Orange* and I went to see The Incredibles today. I recomend it to all it very funny. umm.... yesterday Brad came over he kicked my but in Budakai the final score was 14 me and 26 Brad, rather pathetic of me but oh well

November 5,2004

I'm like very happy. Last night i had a date with brad. We went to see Taxi which by the way is a very funny movie. Afterwards we went and got pizza and for some unknown reason we walked around the strip-mall for no reason at all. It was almost 10pm wandering around in the dark and i felt perfectly safe. On the ride home we just sat together, we weren't talking or any thing just sitting together and i felt no need to fill the silence. I was so comfortable just sitting there with him.

Well I think thats enough of my gushyness...More to come soon. Ciao

October 29,2004

Jaws is very happy not only has she actually got something to do for the next 2 days, She now has a boyfriend again. Jaws has liked Brad for a while now and has been trying to work up the courage to ask him out for a while now.... And I finally did... Yay

Any whoo... more to come Ciao

October 23,2004

I gots my halloween costume today WOOT!!! its all shmexy.

"Live... Grow Strong... Fight Another Day"
Methos (Highlander).....
I know i'm a geek get over it

October 4,2004

well its Saturday.... Nothing to report really... Well ummm oh well

Ciao

September 30,2004

So i'm watching Highlander: Endgame for like the billinth time and all i can think about is.... Raiden!!!! Methos is sexy!!! Duncan looks soo much better with short hair!!! and Woah its the dude from Dungeons and Dragons (the movie)...

I've just realized how pathetic i really am... oh well

Ciao Everyone.....(This dude is really creeping me out man (im referring to dungeons and dragons dude))

September 16,2004

So school has started and were close to the ending of the second week... We had off today Woot!!! Any who... its been ten days since my last blog. wow i'm lazy... Oh well... I like the period button.............. I've been listening to music all day right now im listening to Staind... We're doing Ancient Egypt in ancient civs right know. Woot!!!

any who.. Ciao

September 6,2004

So school starts tommorow... I'm actually looking forward to it. I wonder how many of you guys will actually notice the small change i've made to my self.. This should be interesting because u guys know how oblivious you can be.

Ciao, Love ya all

August 12,2004

I feel Random..... So hows it going... umm... I want a snake named Junior and a mouse named Teal'c just for the irony of the thing.... see stargate sg-1...

Well Ciao eveyone...Love ya all

August 09, 2004

So on the 14th of this month i'll be going to camp and i'll be gone till the 22nd. Orange* is coming with me. I go there every year its lots of fun even though it has this hole religious part to it. Oh well.
Ya know how your parents influence on you is largely what makes you into the person that you will be when you grow up. Some times i wonder about what kind of influence they have on me. i.e we were on our boat yesterday and there was a gay couple on a boat about 100-200 yards away from us. well them being like any open couple they were hugging and kissing each other. Well my father and the others on the boats were talking about how nasty it was and how they needed to gouge their eyes out from the site. This just made me feel really uncomfortable, but what could i do? I would have loved to say to them that gay couples are like any other and if you don't like it don't pay attention and don't look at them but im only 16 and there was no way that they were going to listen to me so i kept my mouth shut and just sat there. i would have liked to walk away and go hind in my room, but i was on a boat in the middle of a lake so not much of an option there...I don't want to be like that, making fun of some one because of their sexual preference. So far i've managed not to be like that and i hope to stay like that. and if i ever make some off-handed comment about some one because of what they are and not who they are you all have the permission to smack me..

any way i'm through with my ranting i just wanted to get that out of my system. well talk to ya later...Ciao

August 05, 2004

Ever feel like you need a third person to talk to some one who you don't know and are never actually gonna meet. Well this is gona be my third person even though my friends are most likely gonna bee reading this, but things are better out in the open. If you've got a problem with any thing take it up with me personally.

Even if she never reads this I want this out in the open..... For the longest time i have had the biggest crush on a good friend of mine and i figured i might as well get it out in the open.... Beckie I have the biggest crush in history on you. If it freaks you out i'm sorry but its the truth... Ciao every body.

August 04, 2004

So Hathors Accolite has changed again. Im getting rid of my Stagate, Bio and Linx pages. Hathors Accolite is now a online diary... I feel like i need to start opening up to the people around me. As you can see my tig board is still here so you guys can still talk to me. Anyway I will still have my Fan Fiction page open so if you want the link just ask me on my tig board.. Kay Kay... Ciao