| MENAD YOUNSI VERSUS MOBIUS DEATHSTAR | |||||||||||
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| An interview with Menad Younsi conducted by Mobius Deathstar | |||||||||||
| MOBIUS DEATHSTAR: Hello you twat! MENAD YOUNSI: I'm not answering. You're a dickhead. Only dickheads call people twats.... and twats. MOBIUS: Of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, which is the sexiest? YOUNSI: Human. MOBIUS: What's your favourite word? YOUNSI: Tangerine. MOBIUS: What's the biggest thing you've ever stolen from Alldays YOUNSI: The welcome mat. MOBIUS: What's the smallest thing you've ever stolen from Alldays YOUNSI: Push-Pop MOBIUS: What's the most expensive thing you've ever stolen from Alldays YOUNSI: 2 litre bottle of Fanta... actually, the welcome mat, that cost a couple of quid. (sings) The welcome mat! The welcome mat! I stole the welcome mat! (tells anecdote) MOBIUS: What's the yellowest fruit? YOUNSI: Bananas... except when they're green. MOBIUS: What about lemons? YOUNSI: They're not so bright yellow MOBIUS: Right. YOUNSI: (yells) SLASH!!!! MOBIUS: What about Slash? YOUNSI: (silence) MOBIUS: Menad, what about Slash? YOUNSI: (silence) MOBIUS: What? YOUNSI: (sticks up middle finger) (long pause) MOBIUS: Seriously, what about Slash? YOUNSI: He's really cool! MOBIUS: What do you think of Jasmin's hair? (Jasmin's hair is all fucked and crap) YOUNSI: It's great! Grrrrrrrrrreat! (to Jasmin) Why's it so shoddily cut? It's longer on one side than the other! JASMIN SAUNDERS: It's supposed to be like that! YOUNSI: It looks crap. It's worse than mine! (massive fight. Mr Morrisey is mentioned) (silence) YOUNSI: (to Jasmin) I told Helen that Steffan wasn't in yesterday because the doctor found out that he was still a baby and couldn't support his own head! MOBIUS: What, the doctor? READ ON |
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