MENAD YOUNSI              VERSUS          MOBIUS DEATHSTAR
V
An interview with Menad Younsi conducted by Mobius Deathstar
MOBIUS DEATHSTAR: Hello you twat!

MENAD YOUNSI: I'm not answering. You're a dickhead. Only dickheads call people twats.... and twats.

MOBIUS:
Of all the creatures in the animal kingdom, which is the sexiest?

YOUNSI: Human.

MOBIUS:
What's your favourite word?

YOUNSI: Tangerine.

MOBIUS:
What's the biggest thing you've ever stolen from Alldays

YOUNSI: The welcome mat.

MOBIUS:
What's the smallest thing you've ever stolen from Alldays

YOUNSI: Push-Pop

MOBIUS:
What's the most expensive thing you've ever stolen from Alldays

YOUNSI: 2 litre bottle of Fanta... actually, the welcome mat, that cost a couple of quid. (sings) The welcome mat! The welcome mat! I stole the welcome mat! (tells anecdote)

MOBIUS: What's the yellowest fruit?

YOUNSI: Bananas... except when they're green.

MOBIUS:
What about lemons?

YOUNSI:
They're not so bright yellow

MOBIUS:
Right.

YOUNSI: (yells) SLASH!!!!

MOBIUS:
What about Slash?

YOUNSI: (silence)

MOBIUS: Menad, what about Slash?

YOUNSI: (silence)

MOBIUS: What?

YOUNSI: (sticks up middle finger)

(long pause)


MOBIUS: Seriously, what about Slash?

YOUNSI:
He's really cool!

MOBIUS:
What do you think of Jasmin's hair? (Jasmin's hair is all fucked and crap)

YOUNSI: It's great! Grrrrrrrrrreat! (to Jasmin) Why's it so shoddily cut? It's longer on one side than the other!

JASMIN SAUNDERS:
It's supposed to be like that!

YOUNSI: It looks crap. It's worse than mine!

(massive fight. Mr Morrisey is mentioned)

(silence)


YOUNSI: (to Jasmin) I told Helen that Steffan wasn't in yesterday because the doctor found out that he was still a baby and couldn't support his own head!

MOBIUS:
What, the doctor?

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