Hashbrown Casserole for the Matchbox Twenty Soul

Suddenly, a door to the set was thrown open, and in walked a tall, Russian, middle-aged brunette, dressed like an Anne Robinson on stylish crack. She dropped her purse and coat in the chair marked "Director" and turned to the quintet, with a stern, but not unpleasant, look on her face, and pushed her glasses back up her nose. �GENTLEMEN! Glad you're all here! My name is Emma Tayke, and I, fortunately or not, am your director for this shoot. I ask you all to quickly make your way to wardrobe and dress, then to make-up, and be back here on the set in one hour.�

The group stared, speechless.

�NOW! Move! That is what your feet are for!� Emma yelled.

They quickly make their way to the wardrobe room, and upon throwing open the door, found a stout little man with red hair in a pale green suit hunkered over 5 costume bags, and humming to himself.

Kyle looked around at the haphazard room. �Whoa�now this is some crazy shi��

�Oh! You scared me!� the little man laughed. �But I'm glad you're here. Now, Miss Tayke has shared her vision with me, and I feel I have expertly recreated it for you! Oh, silly me, I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Karl!� He shook everyone�s hands, and returned to his pile of costumes. Handing each bag to the appropriate matchstick, he gestured towards the stalls in the changing area. �If anything doesn�t fit, let me know!�

Ten minutes later, a distressed Rob came timidly out of his stall. �I�I�m not quite sure if this is�right,� he said, stopping in front of a full-length mirror.

Karl dropped a book of fabric and rushed over to the mirror. �What? What, you don�t like my work? I spent weeks on each sequin! The wig is handmade from real hair, stitched myself! And the shells�those are lacquered! How could you not like it?� Karl distressed, checking every detail for mistakes.

�But�I�m�a,� Rob looked at himself again, and worried. �I�m a mermaid!�

�Psssh! Correction! You are a merMAN! Big difference! One�s a maid and one�s a man!�

Rob fondled his pink shell bra. �Then shouldn�t I be topless? Why would a merman need this?�

�It�s what Miss Tayke had in mind. You�ll have to take it up with her, Mr. Thomas. Now, make-up is over there,� Karl gestured across the hall. �Don�t worry, everything is going to look great!� He smiled, and gently pushed Rob to the door. �Go on, better hurry! Those false eyelashes can take awhile to put on!�

As Rob waddled out of the room, Brian waddled out of his stall. �How am I supposed to play my bass in this?!� he cried.