| Weasley's Wizard Weezes |
| Hello, this is Fred and George Weasley. Need a laugh? You've come to the right place. We have quotes from the books, not only from ourselves but from our friends and family members as well. |
| * "Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel- Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig." * "Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea." "Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it. Once-" "Or twice-" "A minute-" "All summer-" -Fred and George Weasley * "Now, you two- this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've- you've blown up a toilet or-" "Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet." "Great idea, though, thanks Mom." -Mrs. Weasley, Fred and George Weasley * "Don't cry, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls." "We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat." -Fred and George Weasley * "Is he- a bit mad?" "Mad? He's a genius! Best wizard in the world! But he is a bit mad, yes. Potatoes, Harry?" -Harry Potter and Percy Weasley * "I'm half and half. Me dad's a muggle. Mom didn't tell him she was a witch til after they were married. Bit of a nasty shock for him." -Seamus Finnigan * "Everybody finished the song a different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march." * "At the start of class Professor Flitwick took roll call, and when he reached Harry's name he gave an excited squeak and toppled out of sight." * "I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could have been killed- or worse, expelled." -Hermione Granger * "Potter's been sent a broomstick, Professor," said Malfoy quickly. "Yes, yes, that right. Professor McGonagall told me all about the special circumstances, Potter. And what model is it?" "A Nimbus 2000, sir, and it's really thanks to Malfoy here that I got it." -Draco Malfoy, Professor Flitwick, and Harry Potter * "Don't worry, the Weasleys are more than a match for the bludgers- I mean, they're like a pair of human bludgers themselves." -Oliver Wood * "But from that moment on, Hermione Granger became their friend. There are some things you can't share without liking each other, and knocking out a twelve- foot mountian troll is one of them." * "This is it," said Wood. "The big one," said Fred Weasley. "The one we've all been waiting for," said George. "We know Oliver's speech by heart," Fred told Harry, "We were on the team last year." -Oliver Wood, Fred and George Weasley * "And the Quaffle is taken immeadiately by Angelina Johnson of Gryffindor- what an excellent chaser that girl is, and rather attractive, too-" "JORDAN!" "Sorry, Professor." -Lee Jordan and Professor McGonagall * "So- after that obvious and discusting bit of cheating-" "Jordan!" "I mean, after that open and revolting foul-" "Jordan, I'm warning you-" "All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure." -Lee Jordan and Professor McGonagall * "And you could ask your parents if they know who Flamel is. It'd be safe to ask them." "Very safe, as they're both dentists." -Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger * "Why aren't you wearing your sweater, Ron? Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm." -George Weasley * "You haven't got a letter on yours. I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid- we know we're called Gred and Forge." -George Weasley * "And no wonder we couldn't Flamel in that Study Of Recent Developments In Wizardry. He's not exactly recent if he's six hundred and sixty-five, is he?" -Ron Weasley * "So you mean the stone's only safe as long as Quirrell stand up to Snape?" "It'll be gone by next Tuesday." -Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley * "Ten weeks. That's not ages, that's like a second to Nicolas Flamel." "But we're not six hundred years old." -Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley * "Malfoy's got detention! I could sing!" "Don't," -Hermione Granger and Harry Potter * "Devil's Snare, Devil Snare... what did Professor Sprout say?- It likes the dark and the damp-" "So light a fire!" "Yes, of course- but there's no wood!" "HAVE YOU GONE MAD? ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT?" -Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley * "I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat." -Albus Dumbledore * "Ah! Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortuate enough in my youth to come across a vomit flavored one, and since then I'm afraid I've rather lost my liking for them- but I think I'll be safe with a nice toffee, don't you?" He smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth. Then he choked and said, "Alas! Ear wax!" -Albus Dumbledore |
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