"Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming"
- Simple Plan "Welcome to my life"
Draco was laying on the worn, tattered sofa thinking about the war he was suppose to take part in all those years ago. A single tear passed down his face.
He sat at the table looking at Severus; they were going through Poppy's Medical books. Draco reached down and gave a low moan of pain as he felt the baby kick. "Stop that..." he muttered to his stomach. Severus let a soft smile play on his lips for a brief second before coming back into reality and taking up his emotionless demeanor. Draco grimaced, "I'm not going to be allowed to be a medic am I? I mean... think seriously... I mean... come on." Draco seemed to be talking to himself but Severus did not question him. Severus did not know what was going on except that Draco seemed to be getting oddly bigger over the past few months. Draco let out a low moan, this time out of frustration.
"Anything you want to tell me Draco?" Severus raised an eyebrow at the young teen. Severus had his suspicions as to what was wrong with Draco; he seemed to be growing at a steady pace. Draco lowered his head and shook it vigorously. "Whenever you�re ready Draco... I'm here, remember that." Draco nodded as his godfather took his hand. He looked at Severus and gave the black-haired man's hand a light squeeze.
Draco remembered all those times he had gotten his hopes up, and he had never participated in the war effort. He remembered trying to run away with two twin toddler boys in his arms, wand lost in the nappy bag that was oscillating off his arm as a death eater attacked the local super market.
Draco was sore all over; he had a rough night last night at work. One of his weeklies had gone a little nuts when Draco said he would not be available for service after the holidays. Draco then felt and heard the roaring bass of heavy metal music. Draco look over to where he heard a glass shatter, Becan was standing looking quite frazzled as his brother continued to turn the already-blasting music up. Becan ran into the room where Bari was. Bari was listening to the music the only way he knew how. He was laying in bed feeling the rumble of the bass through his bed, his hand was on the speaker.
Bari had always loved music, and he had always wanted to hear it. Becan took the CD out, and placed his own in its place. Soft classical music ran through the house. Bari and Becan began wrestling as they fought over whose music would be played. Draco went into the room where the distracted teens were, he inserted a CD of The Beetles and then he was taken down and wrestled in the bed. Draco was gasping for breath by the time he was finished. He smiled at the boys and then took out the CD to insert a techno one; they lay on the bed listening. The family liked Techno music; Bari began taping to the bass. Draco smiled and just lay there for a minute.
Draco's gray eyes looked at both of his boys he smiled and brought his arms around his boys' shoulders. Draco's eyes held to much pain and experience for his near thirty three year old body. He looked down at his children and smiled sweetly. He then got up and smiled as he walked with a slight limp to the door. Becan and Bari laid there signing into each other's hand, listening to the blasting techno music.
Draco walked into his room and went to the closet in the far corner of the room. He never glanced at the bottom of his closet, but now he had to take out the trunk he had wanted to burn many years ago. He remembered when he had lit the match and tried to throw it on the trunk, but he couldn't. Now as he touched the trunk's lid, only to recoil back as if it had burned him, he knew what he had to do.
Taking in a deep breath Draco reached forward again and pulled the trunk out of the closet. His lip began to quiver; he knew he was going to have a hard time. He threw open the lid and looked down at the expensive tailored robes, each with fine stitching and the Slytherin crest carefully hand embroidered. Draco briefly wondered what house he would be in when he returned; he knew that he was a changed man. Both of his children were in Ravenclaw, both were very intelligent and were able to pass with relative ease despite their disabilities.
Draco folded the robe back up and placed it, along with the other robes, onto the floor; he grasped his broom and put it aside, smiling as memories of Quidditch fluttered across his mind. He took out old essays, parchment, and quills from the bottom of his trunk. He threw them away along with many dried-up bottles of ink.
Draco then reached down into his trunk and found a little chest with lock. His breath started to come out in pants; his hands started quivering. They were all his important things, mostly letters or newspaper clipping. He grasped the necklace that was around his neck it held 3 small waterproof keys. The medium-sized, silver key, with a dragon engraved in it, went to his small chest. He didn't want to open it and be overwhelmed by the memories it held. Knowing letters from his mother, Harry, and other people who caused him pain were in there. He looked down at the other two keys; one was gold, old-fashion, and by far the biggest key that was to his old Gringots account that was devoid of money except a small bit for extreme situations. He looked down at the smallest key; it had a snakehead and was green. He took out the small journal that the key was to, again it remained unopened much like the chest.
Becan and Bari had come out of their room, stomachs grumbling, wondering what their father was up to. Becan pushed Bari forward to go talk to their dad. "Dad..." He called out; Draco didn't reply he just continued sorting threw what were now mostly old papers. Then Draco stopped suddenly when he found a small photo album. Draco smiled and called over his two boys, he leaned up against the wall with one boy one either side of him.
Draco went through the photos laughing along with both his boys as they saw their father with a huge belly trying to conceal it with a charm. They were all photos of the birth and the boys, but also his life before. There were pictures of Draco along side Harry, some of them they were kissing. The last picture Draco hadn't taken, Severus had. Draco was sitting in the window holding two small bundles looking out of the window a thoughtful expression on his face, the picture stood out from the others. It was a muggle picture, and it sat unmoving, it was also unlike the others not a happy photo. It held pain. It held the pain of so many things.
Draco looked down and let out a sigh, �My life had been so... so... I dunno.� Draco let out another sigh and closed his eyes. Bari hadn�t heard a word, but the way his father�s body language was talking he knew something was wrong. Bari leaned forward and gave his father a kiss on his cheek. �We will be going to get your school supplies soon... Our school supplies soon. I have received a list, it seems that you will have a new headmaster that is not only aware of my... situation, but also embraces it. As to who this person is... well I don�t know.�
Becan was signing into Bari�s hand what his father was saying, �We will be going to dinner the night before we leave for Hogwarts for both your birthdays and a sort of celebration. Severus will be there as will his family.� Draco looked pointedly at Bari, �I know you don�t exactly get along with Tristram and his boyfriend, but both will be there and you will not cause trouble. If you to get into a fight at least don�t be the instigator, please for me...�
Bari nodded and kissed his dad�s forehead.
-
�Orran... do you want to keep this child...� Severus was standing over Orran who was lying on the sofa; Severus shook his head, as Orran didn�t answer him. �I have a friend... you may want to meet him... he got knocked up at sixteen. He went through the pregnancy; you will see him and I will show you his life and how much his children changed him. You can make your decision then I will help you either way you choose.� He walked to the doorway and paused, �I understand if you say yes... after all it is the only time you can have a child of your own. But I must advise you on how much this will change your life.� With that Snape walked out and went into the arms of his lover.
�Ah... Sevvy, my sweet, caring, gentle lover.� Severus snorted; he gave Remus that what-do-you-want look. Remus snorted as well, �Well... you see... I know you don�t want to... but... I want you to go take that test to see if you have the cancer. I really want to know if you do.� Severus pushed his lover away and walked out of the room. The golden-eyed man followed him, �You have to Sev! You have to! What if you have it! You can get treatment just go take the test! See if you have it like your fathers before you.�
�I will not! End of discussion! And it wasn�t even open to discussion before! Sod off!� Severus ran to the potions lab, Remus followed him and cornered his black-haired lover. �I told you I will not Remus. I will not, I swear to you Remus I can�t go through with it. I just can�t... those... those tubes... needles... I can�t go through with it.�
�You�ll die quicker Severus! Don�t you care if you die before you reach the average life span! Don�t you care that you won�t be able to see Tristram get married and have children! Don�t you care that��
�Of course I care Lupin! Of course I care! I�m terrified okay? I�m so bloody scared that I might have it! That I won�t be able to see all these things occur in my child�s life, that I won�t be able to have a child of my own. You wouldn�t know it but... but I sometimes break down at night while holding you, stroking your hair, knowing that I�m not going to be able to do this one day. Just knowing that I�ll be gone before we are able grow old together.
�I�m scared to death Remus... I�m so scared... so scared... to... to die... after my life finally has become happy... I�m so... afraid to loose you and the children.� Remus reached out and touched Severus�s cheek; the onyx-eyed man recoiled and flinched. �I... I just want to see Tristram finally grow out of his green hair... to see your hair fully gray; lord knows it�s close. I want to see Draco�s children grow up... I just... I�m just so scared about what the outcome may say...�
�I want you to go take it Severus. I need you to-�
�No! I�m leaving Remus for a few days until you get it into that tiny werewolf brain of yours that I will not, and will never take that test! Once you come to your senses, which by the way should be very keen! I will come back, but until then... but until then I won�t take your arguing! I won�t take it because... I don�t care Remus! I don�t want to take it... it�s my life I�m going to live it the way I want to!�
Remus felt tears reach his eyes, �You don�t care...� Remus was whispering, not being able to raise his voice higher then a soft tone, �You don�t care about your family... about Tristram... about our quite possible future child... about me... about your lover... your... your-�
�That�s right Remus. I don�t care. I won�t do it, I won�t and I swear... I swear... I will never, ever take that horrible test. Only to have tubes shoved down my throat like some type of science project... Like some type of experiment!� Remus shook his head and looked down, he wanted his Severus back, not this man who was a shell of his old self. The man he didn�t fall in love with.
The man Remus fell in love with was the man Severus became after the war: the man who loved to give gentle touches and kisses in both private and public places. The man whose eyes would light up with passion and kiss with all of the passion that his eyes portrayed in the privacy of their bedroom; The man who always smiled at his lover, the man who would do anything for his happiness; Not the man that was standing in front of him right now.
�Severus when you get a hold of yourself then, and only then, can you come back to us.� Severus stood stunned. �Now go. I will take care of the children. Come back when you are ready to face us. When you can tell us that you do care about us, come back...� Remus turned and left, pausing at the doorframe. �I love you Severus... I love you so much... but you have to leave until you become the man who I fell in love with.� With that Severus�s golden-eyed lover was out the door.
-
The sound of the doorbell ringing Draco yelled for Becan to turn down the music, he had gotten a ring from his godfather earlier about his recent predicament. He knew that his Godfather�s relationship was somewhat unstable due to the old; ruff history the two of them had shared. Draco smiled and opened the door. He felt searing pain in his stomach. A cool metal blade was being removed from his abdomen he yelled for his boys to get out before collapsing into a sea of darkness.
