| I've been doing work with the various aspects of my psyche lately. Hence the talk about invocation and the metaphor involving an oil lamp and cellophane. I have decided to bring to the fore a social mask that I have been developing for quite some time: The King of Sages. This persona will allow me to give much useful advice, per my unsolicited answers to people who write the Dear Abby coulumn, and will let me give you multitudes of useless trivial tidbits. I can also allow my ego full play, thus restricting it in other areas of my personality, because the Sage is very wise and always right. |
| Allow me to introduce you to my new avatar. His name is Fu So Ya. He is a Sage. He is from the moon. He can cast all White and Black magic spells except the fabled Meteo. He was instrumental in sealing Zemus in the core of the moon using the 16 crystals (four light crystals on the Earth's surface, four dark crystals in the Earth's underground and four light and four dark balancing crystals behind his great big pyramid throne in his Lunar Palace). He then placed all other Lunarians in suspended hibernation and proceeded to watch over them for a very long time. When his nephew Cecil and co. came to the moon in the Big Whale, Fu So Ya joined them in order to destroy the Giant of Babil. He then proceeded to battle a newly-revived Zemus, and died alongside his other nephew, Golbez. But he wasn't really dead, as he allowed Cecil and co. to break through Zemus's barriers to defeat him. He is now a powerful astral spirit-entity with uncharted powers. Take a moment to hail him as your new god. Seriously, Fu So Ya is fucking awesome. You really should worship him. And not just because he now represents me as the Sage. |
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| Sagacious Rex |
| Anyways, there are lots of things that I know that you probably don't. That's why we're here. I'm gonna tell you lots of stuff, and then you get to figure out the things that I made up out of whole cloth. That's what sages do. To begin with, we'll try some simple statements and you tell me which one is false. 1. Healthy plants are usually green. 2. Books contain words and/or pictures. 3. God is dead. 4. The beads draping around my piggy bank and hanging off my shelves are pink and white and are my souvenier from my first Pride parade. 5. You learn many useful things in school. Done? Ok, if you picked number 5 as the false one, you are correct! Nobody learns anything in school, they learn things on their own time. The only learning that comes about as a result of school is the learning that self-motivated people get when they get interested by the vague points covered in class and do their own research. That happens very rarely. As a side-note, if you picked number 3 as the false one, you're stupid. Unless, of course, you were referring to the very much alive Fu So Ya, and then you get bonus points. Go you! So anyways, if you're anywhere near awake when you read this site you're ok. The false things will be very obvious and written in my sarcastic voice, which looks like: this. Yeah, it's hard to write in a sarcastic voice when you're very limited on fonts and such. Don't use Page Builder if you're a smart-ass. |
| Here is my Sage resume. That's Reh'-zuh-may, not Re-zoom'. I mentioned before, limits in characters. Actually, though...here: Resum�. There, are you happy? I wasted about 15 minutes looking around Character Map for that. Happy, bitches? Anyway, here's my sagacious resum�: 1. I know more than you. There, how nice. I don't get to use this when job-hunting, though. It seems polite society frowns on directness. |
| All of these were written by me. Ignore the author names. Except for the speech by Amy, all this material is mine, dumbed down for the people who had me write it for them |
| I really enjoy helping these people. I look at them as little lost children in need of my insightful guidance. I really wish people would email me with problems so I can just ignore Abby, though. |
| Here is a collection of this Sage's favorite poems. They're all absolutely classic. I am available for explication purposes if you want to know what a particular one means to me at that moment. Include a personal problem and get my address from the Fuck Abby! page. |
| Trivia is a passion of mine. Absolutely useless information comes in handy at odd times. It allowed me to waste two years in college, tuition free. This is where a lot of that "made-up" information may come into play. I don't make this up, though, I just read it and believe it like a gullible fool. |
| "The only way to illuminate the world is to irradiate it." -The Sage |