What really bothers me is that I don't tell them what I think when they start their sermons. That would make it a lot easier on me. Instead there's just an awkward silence as I neither agree nor disagree. I feel like a coward for not speaking my mind, but I feel that they would judge my work harshly if they knew Jesus didn't guide my hand. They feel they need Jesus for everything, from the most complex of tasks to walking to the bathroom in the morning. Jesus made me quite helpless and has nothing better to do than walk me to the toilet for my morning piss. He holds my dick for me too, so I don't make a huge mess everywhere. Thank you, Jesus! No, I manage that all on my own. All of it. Everything I have achieved is due to my own skill and particular set of circumstances. While that sounds like vanity (it is) at least I didn't have to invent a God who likes me more than anything else and wants to help me empty my bladder every morning. That is the true ego. And when the Christians realize that I am self-reliant they will begin to feel jealous and in their hearts they will revile me. This is why I fear to tell them the truth.
However, the day of reckoning is approaching. Soon I will tolerate their prosthylization no longer and will let loose with all the hellish fury that they damn me with. My passions are confined by thin walls, and they are weakening. When The Beast in me is loosed I would seem a mad thing, beguiling them at every opportunity with delightful blasphemy. It will be horribly glorious. And it comes soon.
