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| It feels like I'm looking for something - and I don't know exactly what. Sometimes it feels like I'm chasing something that doesn't exist. The Holy Grail? Could it be that I'm simply dissatisfied with my mundane existence? Is there anything out there which can transform my dull, plodding headache of a life into something more, something worthwhile? No, the Age of Gods has ended at last, leaving mankind alone. We are gods, or devils, unto ourselves, and create our own destinies. There is nothing that can change our lives that we ourselves do not devise. Yet there is a passionlessness inside that I cannot will out of existence. For though we have achieved much, we are still glowing beings shackled to our fleshy shells. Bound up in wants and unquenchable desires. Shadows on the wall of a long-forgotten cave. It all seems so pointless when one thinks of it. Then, in the thrill of the moment, one doesn't think of the hopelessness of it all. Time stands still at the moment of exultation, all pain and horror evaporated in an eternal second of divine glory. What is the reason of it all? To forget- if only for an instant- the trouble of temporal existence? The chance to experience such earth-shaking pleasure that it momentarily shatters our perception of reality? A moment of light to outshine an eternity of darkness? I think not. Perhaps the only true glory can be found only for a moment in the arms of another. But I do not believe in love. Love is a myth, perpetrated by those who want to control the passions of others. The Lords of Order. I do not want the fetters of love, but yearn for the freedom to do as I will. Yet here I remain, caught up in the falsity, the hypocricy, of love. The only redemption for our minds is to see through the illusion, to part the veil between what is know and what is. But the illusions remain in place, held there by demons of humanity's own creation. I name these demons to you: Holiness, Faith, Love, Charity, Trust, Hope, the true essences of falsehood. We remain ignorant that our fellow man is as vile and self-serving as we ourselves know we are in our innermost recesses. Humanity is truly a damned thing, but in our insane search for truth we may just find our salvation. | |||||||
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