Wow, it's been a while since I've written anything on the computer. Four or five days at least. That's quite a long time considering the fact that I've been writing one or two pieces per day for a while now. I've been doing my daily writing in a journal that I've started, though. So it's not like my Muse has left me or anything (love you, baby). In fact, she's with me more than ever lately. I've noticed that I'll get brainstorms while driving or talking with other people more often than usual lately, and can actually remember them until I get home to type them on a notepad file, which are now cluttering my hard drive and making the My Documents folder almost unnavigatable. I'm debating on whether or not to put my journal online. It's nice to have something hardcopy, and I fear that if I start putting it online I'll just start writing on the computer to save myself from transcribing. Of course, I could always just scan the pages and put them on, but I don't currently have a scanner. I wonder if I could get mine from Mom. It was a gift to me, but I didn't need it as asshole had one just like when I moved in with him. That could make the point moot. However, if I do put it online I will have to decide whether or not to edit any of it. I don't think there's anything there that's too much, nothing worse than some of the crazy shit I've put on here. After all, an intelligent person's journal ends up being a propaganda weapon anyways, and I can totally see that in all the things that I've written. It always makes me come out smelling like roses, albeit the insane rambling type of rose. I wonder if I could start a garden of those...
I've really started to develop a passion for writing. I don't do it for anybody but myself, and I don't really know why I think any of you care about what I've written. I don't know, it's become almost an obsession for me. I have to set in stone my feelings and open my world to the public for their scrutiny. It's a form of exhibitionism, I think. Also, as I look back over what I've written in the previous Manifesto and compare it to this one I can't help but notice the tiny ways in which my style has evolved. It's a bit of an ego trip, imagining that I have a style. I have always recognized that I write differently from almost anybody that I've ever read, but I've always just assumed that the main difference was lack of talent. Now I think I'm realizing that it's not a total lack of any talent whatsoever but a subtle humour interwoven into my works that makes me unique. I do all this and place it for everyone to see in hopes that, perhaps, someone can catch a glimpse of the true me. I want to show you, through my writing, the multiplicity of selves that inhabit this material shell. While I will take it as a grave insult if you dare to insist that you know me completely, I would like to think that you are aware that I am more than the mask you see. Some of you see different facets of the Real Me (tm), but you must be aware that there is more than you see on an everyday basis. That is the ultimate goal of my writing.
I am also quite aware of the immortality conferred by writing. I am also aware that this webpage could possibly last beyond my mortal life, suspended in the digital aethyr so that, even when I am no longer here, you can still get to know me. Of course, by the time I'm old enough to die the internet will probably no longer be popular and nobody will ever come here. That'll be just my luck. |
