Today is the day when we're supposed to reflect on the year just passed, looking for things we could've done better, things we should've done differently. I think for most people, including me, it won't be remembered as a great year. Tons of people were laid off in 2001, many companies went away ... we were already on the ropes before the kick in the teeth of September 11 brought us to our knees. Whatever bright spots had existed in the year were lost in the glare of the attacks. It was as though a curtain fell on September 10, and everything that had come before was foggy and distant. For me the year was a crazy blur, things went askew in the springtime. A lot is made of the trauma of turning 30 or 40, but it seems to me that the trauma actually happens in the year preceding those milestone birthdays, when you see it coming and have to ask yourself if you're doing the right things with your life, are you happy, blah blah blah. The problem is that there are no answers to those questions, no cheat sheet that you can check to see how it's going.

For me there are two periods of time that stand out in 2001. The first one is obvious, I'll never forget sitting in my office, talking with a friend who relayed events to me from the television until she broke down and could no longer stand it - it was so surreal, there was no way it was happening. The following days brought tears, anger, and a new view of the world for all of us.

The other part of 2001 that stands out is the week of July 4th. I was at the beach with my family, and I was pretty sure I was going nuts. The nice thing about realizing this is that it brings an amazing clarity to things ..... I wrote some amazing stuff around that time, and I'm not a writer. The words just poured out of me, some painful to write, some easier, but each word seemed to carry away some junk that was cluttering my head, or my heart. Anyway, none of that applies to this story, the part of the trip that stands out the most is Independence Day. We got up early that morning (well, early for vacation) and my daughter and I were in the walking/biking parade around the island. After the parade, my son had a blast crawling over the fire trucks and meeting the firemen (firepeople?). Everyone did the usual Fourth of July stuff....eating hot dogs and ice cream, hanging out with the family, wearing red, white, and blue - simple things that we used to take for granted, but now they seem so much more important.

I plan on entering 2002 with hope; hope for a better year, hope for a better me, hope for a better world. And of course I hope that all my friends that helped me get through 2001 are around to help me some more, and that all of you have a happy and healthy New Year.

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On to the Times