VITAMAX!!!
Don't Act Like You're Not Impressed
By:Matthew

Introduction! - �I�m feeling larger already!�
Are you tired of having to pump things up to increase the size (and I don�t mean soccer balls), or having to tie your droopy member around a pole and lean back to give it the old stretching treatment? Well WHAM, BAM, ALAZAKAAM, be tired no more!

Hello, my name is Matthew, and I am here to talk to you about the newest toy out there, Vitamax penis enlargement pills. I won�t tell you that I have tried them yet, because I have a reputation to uphold, but Vitamax (latin for LIFE MAX!!!) is a sure fire way to get your woman (or man) aching hardcore the next day, and isn�t that what sex is REALLY all about???

About the pill! � �Yes, it sure does taste like chocolate Mrs. Davis!�
VitaMax pills, which have only been tested in horses going through puberty, have shown a trend penis growth reaching up to 13.5 inches in length, and exceeding diameters of 3 inches. Leading, highly reputable scientists believe that if it happens in horses, then it is very likely to happen in humans as well; IT�S SCIENCE!!! You can�t contradict science. So enough of talking about the 2-inches-in-one-day increase (you can actually see it grow!) or the exponential increase in self esteem, let� talk about the secret behind this small, superhero-shaped tablets.

The real secret lies in the ingredient �Yummy�, which is just what it sounds like � condensed and extracted horse sperm. This sperm, which is unlike any sperm that most of you have ever tasted before, contains the nutritious and delicious secret ingredient, which I can�t tell you. But it isn�t JUST �Yummy� that makes our product so �out of this world� and �deck,� it�s also in the 52 other vitamins and minerals contained in it, such as ethanol. Your probably beginning to see what we mean when we say �If you not hungry for VitaMax, you�re just not hungry!�

Pricing � �Who needs affirmative action when the prices are THIS low!?!?�
Other similar products such as black stallions can sell for as much as $300,000 (times 10-2), but VitaMax, with it�s new non-mess, easily-shippable bottle can be yours for just $.05 (times 105) per week, for only 5 weeks!

Just like braces, it�s an investment opportunity you just CAN�T pass up!

Customer Service! � �Because e-mails mean they really do care!�
As a recent subscriber to their website, I have already become astounded to learn about all of the customer service that they provide to even a simple folk like me, who obviously will not be their next example model. Getting approximately 8 emails a day to check in on my health and well-being, and being reminded every week to buy more pills before the price goes up, is more than I could ever ask for. Like two lonely male companions in an empty field with just a butterfly net to keep them company, me and [email protected] (or Crack man as I like to call him) are two people that can truly call each other friends forever.

Side Effects! � �A small risk for every BIG inch!�
Some side effects may include
� Increased beastiality tendencies (We don�t know why they call it side effect either)
� Deafness, blindness, muteness� or any combination of the three
� Addiction to marijuana
� Penal shrinkage
� Lung cancer

Our Guarantee! � �Could it be any MORE likely to work!?!? I think NOT!�
Our guarantee is simple and easy. If you keep an hourly excel chart for three weeks and include a logarithmic best fit trendline with an R2 value, then all you have to do is personally travel to Gary, Indiana (first year off of �murder capital of the world� status) and talk to a slut named Crunk �Skittle Masher� Mouch. He�ll have your cash.

Disclaimer � �Sorry to get your hopes up, but it isn�t real!�
PLEASE do not send emails to [email protected]. It is actually Mandy�s e-mail address. If you have already send in your subscription, then ouch; you might want to move Asia.


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