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I am
Happy Graham Childrens Entertainer. 
I hope you enjoy the jokes on these pages. Why not then email me your favourite jokes etc.to add to these very pages! Email your jokes etc. to [email protected]
Boys who have their ears pierced are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery!
Why do the US Marines send three men out on a patrol? One to read the map and two guard the intellectual!
A delivery van carrying Rogarts Thesaurus overturned on the M32. The Bristol Evening Post reported that onlookers were "Stunned, overwhelmed, astonished, bewildered and dumbfounded."!!!! Peter Jones, Hotwells, Bristol
Two tubs of yoghurt walk into a library. The librarian- himself a tub of cottage cheese- says "Get out" We don't serve your kind in here." One of the yogurt cartons looks at him and said "Why not? We're cultured individuals!"
How do monkeys pick up rumours? They here it down the apevine!
Is a centipede an inchworm that's gone metric? Samuel Topper, Bathl
Hickory dickory dock, three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one but the oter two got away un-injured!
Hickory dickory dock, an elephant ran up the clock. The clock is now being repaired! Lesley Walker, Totterdown, Bristol
A blind man walks into a shop with is guide dog. Suddenly he picks up the dog by the tail and starts swinging it around over his head in circles. The manager rushes over and shouts "What do you think you doing?" The blind man replies "I'm just having a look around!" The shop manger frowned and says "Well please stop, there is a lot of other customers around and there's hardly room to swing a cat." John Casper, Clifton, Bristol
A father returns home to fnd his eight year old son Peter playing chess with the family dog, Rover. He sits down and watches the game for a while in absolute astonishment. After a few minutes Peter's dad says "I can't believe I'm seeing this... Rover must be one of the smartest dogs in the world!" Peter replied immediatly "He's not that smart, I'm winning 3-2 on games." Amy Saunders, Redcliffe, Bristol
What do you get if you cross a Cuban with an Icelandic person? An ice cube!
What do you get if you cross a pice of paper with two famous composers? A Chopin Listz.
What do you get if you cross a joker with a pile of underwear? A jester drawers! Robert Taylor, St. Andrews, Bristol
What do you get if you cross a highwayman with a pickle? Dick Gerkin.
What do you get if you cross a chicken witha parrot? Fowl Language!!
How many magicians does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on what you want him to change it into! Robin Sharpe, Kingswood, Bristol
How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, they don't like to share the spotlight!
How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the bulb while the other writes a song about how good the old one was.
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the giraffe, the other to fill the bathtub with highly coloured car engine parts. Sandra Young, Coalpit Heath
What do you get if you cross a successful book with perfume? A best smeller!
Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow? So they can hide upside down in your custard!
Have you ever seen elephants swimming around in your custard? No? That just proves the efficiency of their camouflage! Martin Peters, Bedminster, Bristol
A man walks into a fish and chip shop and says "Fish and chips twice please" The chip fryer replies "I heard you the first time!"
A man walks into a butchers shop and says "Excuse me, do you keep dripping?" The butcher nods and the man says "I bet you find it quite embarrasing!"
A man walks into a fish and chip just as it is about to close. He says "Do you have any fish and chips left?" The chip fryer nods and the man says "Well it serves you right for making too many!" Andrew Bishop, Brislington, Bristol
What do you get if you cross a hyena with an OXO cube? An animal that makes a laughing stock of itself!
What you get if you cross a thief with an orchestra? Robbery with violins.
A waiter brings the diner a steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. The diner shouts "What are you doing holding on to my dinner like that?" The waiter replies "So you want it to fall on the floor again do you?" Paul Graham, Batheaston.
As well as being "Happy Graham", I am also a busker! In fact I am well known in Bath as "Grod Groddler"… The Banned Busker of Bath! As a singer guitarist I entertained many… until one day the council decided to ban my amplifier! You can find out much more about my "Other Guise" including downloadable songs and video by clicking on the link below and visit a website featured recently by the BBC.
Support my campaign, Don't Be A Sod! Un-ban Grod! www.geocities.com/unbangrod
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