Here at JMU, and especially in Shorts Hall, we've been having a few problems with the campus Peeper. Apparently he goes into girls showers and grabs them when they aren't looking. Well, unfortunately for us guys, we're having the same problem...only with the actual
JMU Weewee Toucher
Yes, I know you all recognize this name from my conversations with Don the Gay RA, but he really exists. He goes into Men's bathrooms and grabs guys while at the urinals. We still aren't positive that this JMU Weewee Toucher is a male, but he is definitely gay and definitely asian. So, be careful. We all know how those flaming asians can be.
BEWARE OF THIS POSSIBLE SHEMALE!!
"Oh my God! What is that thing?!"
--anaymous JMU Weewee Toucher spotter.
The Weewee Toucher in action
Luckily, due to security cameras placed in all the male restooms, thanks to Don and Kevin Kiley, we were able to capture pictures of the Pink Peepee Grabber in the act.
Watch out! He/She is gonna grab your Weewee!
Oh no! It's got mine!
Weewee Touching Tips
Protect yourself from the JMU Weewee Toucher by following this simple rules...
1. Buddy System. Always go the the bathroom with a friend and use adjacent urinals. The Weewee Toucher rarely attacks groups but likes to divide and grab in pairs as you can see from the above picture.
2. Use the stalls whenever possible. I know this is difficult because Sprout is usually always in one.
3. Urinate in the showers
4. Put on a dress and go to one of the girls floors. The JMU Weewee Toucher has never been spotted with any females.
5. Use chamber pots. I advocate the old European Style of disposal out the window.
6. Don't go to Don. He's been known to grab some weewees on occasion. He'll probably want to dust for fingerprints.