The NitaB Trilogy:
Episodes Two and Three
Well after the first conversation, I couldn't let her get away with trying to mess with me. So, I switched screen names and started talking to her with the, ever popular, JMUdamn I am gay.
JMUdamn I am gay: Hi
NitaB: whats up babe?
NitaB: how are you?
NitaB: i hevent sen you in foever (Still pretending to be drunk or just retarded? It's your call)
JMUdamn I am gay: I'm great :-*
JMUdamn I am gay: and you?
NitaB: pretty good
NitaB: wher do you live agian:?
NitaB: i wanna come cvisit
JMUdamn I am gay: Hillside
JMUdamn I am gay: sure...what do you wanna do?
NitaB: whateve fyou want:-)
JMUdamn I am gay: hmmm...but you know I am DAMN gay (Hmmm, does she know I'm pretending to be DAMN gay?)
NitaB: i see that
NitaB: oh well, your loss themn
JMUdamn I am gay: but I'll take any farm animal or livestock that I can...I run wild in the farms around the 'burg. (What did you guys think I REALLY did on the weekends?)
NitaB: alright, so youre a loseR?
JMUdamn I am gay: no, haven't you ever been with a goat?
NitaB: on ly on thursdyas
JMUdamn I am gay: try ducks....I know we got a lot of those around campus
JMUdamn I am gay: they always try to fly away
NitaB: yeha maybe ill make that my tuesady affair (I love her poor attempts to be funny)
JMUdamn I am gay: I catch 'em at Mrs. Greens
JMUdamn I am gay: ever been with a gay man?
JMUdamn I am gay: well...how bout a DAMN gay man? (Well I guess I've gotten her pretty annoyed, haha)
After this bit of entertainment I decided it would be funny to switch to a new and even more ludicrous screen name.
JMU Cockfarter: hello?
JMU Cockfarter: you lookin' to have any fun tonight?
NitaB: depend s on whou oyuare (I'm just gonna go with retarded, there's no doubt now)
JMU Cockfarter: I'm Todd
NitaB: so??? that tells me notheing..i'm candy
JMU Cockfarter: Mmmm, what kind of candy?
NitaB: lollipop, lick me all nigh tlong
JMU Cockfarter: wow, nice
JMU Cockfarter: I'm just Todd Jinkins... (I don't think that's any kind of kinky sex product is it? A Todd Jinkins?)
JMU Cockfarter: so can have some candy?
JMU Cockfarter: can I
NitaB: soory im taken
JMU Cockfarter: damn, by who?
NitaB: m ypimp
JMU Cockfarter: well if he's your pimp then isn't he supposed to sell you to people like me? (I know my hookin')
NitaB: well, we got in a fight about that recently
NitaB: you watch jerry springeRT?
NitaB: i was onit
JMU Cockfarter: what's your going rate?
NitaB: 500/hr
JMU Cockfarter: I'll give 'ya $25
JMU Cockfarter: you can't be that good
NitaB: fuck that shit
NitaB: nice try
JMU Cockfarter: would I have to pay in advance or after services are rendered?
NitaB: advance
JMU Cockfarter: can't even test it out first?
NitaB: no sorry
NitaB: thast dangerous for me
JMU Cockfarter: that's dangerous for me....how do I know you aren't damaged goods?
NitaB: you dont
NitaB: take the chane
JMU Cockfarter: how bout you pay me $10 to take a ride on the Todd Wagon (Haha, yeah Todd Wagon)
NitaB: how abou i laugh inyour face
NitaB: ?
JMU Cockfarter: it doesn't have good shocks, it's always a bit bumpy (Referring to the Todd Wagon, of course)
NitaB: well no thanks
NitaB: i get 500/hr man, i dont need you 10
JMU Cockfarter: you sure? you're missin' out....I don't even have an STDs
JMU Cockfarter: I was hopin' you could hook me up
NitaB: you go t500?
JMU Cockfarter: you got VD? (Come on...I'm not payin' that kind of money unless I get something permanent out of it)
NitaB: no
JMU Cockfarter: nothing? not even anal warts?
JMU Cockfarter: you gotta have those (Seriously)
NitaB: i am safe asshoel
JMU Cockfarter: is it?
JMU Cockfarter: your asshole I mean...
NitaB: bye
JMU Cockfarter: where you goin'?
JMU Cockfarter: you goin' out to get some anal warts? you sound like you need some
JMU Cockfarter: come on...they're cute
Ahh crazy NitaB, first girl to ever turn down one of my fabulous STDs. She doesn't know what she's missin'.
Ehhh, more conversations to come, when I get around to it.