| Deepness |
| Children of the Revolution...I am proud to present.. VERSION 2.0. >>Deepness 1 Archive<< >>My Arch Nem Jessica's Page<< |
| *Eunson: Big particles of dirt are� Christine: ICE! (Yes, ladies and gents, Chem II has taken its toll.) *AH-HAH! I�ll write on Iraq! (Jess, on political issues.) *We can look at it this way; it was a towel�IT WAS MADE TO ASORB THINGS! (I was trying to justify why I spilled strawberry milk all over ZZ�s towel shirt.) *Mr. Hoilman: Here's a hard one, 'Where did Grendel live?' Dusty: In the lake? Mr. Hoilman: More specific. Dusty: In the swampy lake? Mr. Hoilman: More specific. Dusty: At the bottom of the swampy lake... Mr. Hoilman: More specific. Dusty: ...IN THE MEAD HALL! Mr. Hoilman: Good. (And you wonder why only a few take ENGLISH CH III) *I pledge allegiance to the squirrel, I MEAN FLAG... (Zane, on the effects of very little sleep.) *Eunson:(to class) What's the last thing you have in your notes? Robin: The last thing I have is people holding hands and dancing on water. (Will the madness ever end?) *I hope no one is flushing the toilets down the hall, you know, metal handles. WE'LL ELECTRICUTE THOSE BABIES! (Eunson, describing what happens when you stick wires in a socket and touch them to the metal sink spout.) *Are they still moist? We need a dead body? OK...Amanda, on you way to Limestone Cove, you pass at least what? Two or three funeral homes? Stop by one and say you're doing an experiment. DON'T metion my name. Never mention my name. (This has to tell you SOMETHING ABOUT Chemistry II...) *Zane: Our Sacrifice didn't work. Me: Our Sacrifice wasn't pure. (And we wonder why our Chemistry experiments go wrong...) *(Mr. Eunson Babbling about mowing cemetery) Me: It takes about one hour. Robin: To mow a cemetery? Me: No, to make sure all the people are dead. (hey! I was called!) *Actually, Mr. Eunson does things sometimes to make sure he's in touch with reality... (Did we ever doubt?) *I want it, and I WANT IT RIGHT NOW! (Eunson, on scales) *I WANT A BURGER, WHERE'S MY BURGER? *It's good exercise, PUNCH that Decimal! *GOD and his almighty wisdom has fooled us. It takes 3 mins to cook a hamburger, but Ladies and Gentlemen, it still takes 9 months to make a baby! *The internet...for what it's worth...(insert evil Eunson laugh here)...is pretty worthless. It's the Devil, I personally think that he has every website linked to every other website in the universe. (Only Eunson would know...) *Me: Draw Josh's name, and I'll copy it, and throw darts at it! Holly: Attach a pic, it has more meaning. *What's an EVE, and how do you drop it? That's a loaded question. (Yes it is Jess.) *We better write that out...It don't look good by itself. (Eunson on mASS.) *EUNSON: This must be a special day, we told the homecoming candidates to bring their shoes to school. Josh Hopson: Tell your relatives in PA! *~A CHANGING MOMENT FOR ALL CHEMISTRY STUDENTS~ We're just using water today...so we don't need to wear goggles. 9/25/03 *Eunson: How do you know the Earth goes around the Sun? Christine: Because we send up Russians, American,...and Mexicans... Eunson: ...Iraquies, and a few South Africans. *Christine: That's the point he's trying to prove, BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA LET HIM DO THAT! *Christine: I have a theory! Eunson: No you don't! (Our Chem class on why we aren't brainwashed, and that the Sun doesn't go around the Earth...duh.) *Eunson: First, turn on all the lights in the house, and go check the electric meter. Then, you go in, and push the button to turn on the dryer...whether there's anything in there or not...PUT YOUR CAT IN THERE, and go watch the little train go around and around. (Why it is ok to leave all the lights in the house on...slash, animal dry-cleaning.) *Eunson: We had a great fun time, but it's connected to this... (We get lost too...) *Eunson: I don't recollect me or my children chewing on the woodwork. *Vince: not all girls are evil Me: too Vince: just ones that control armies of creatures that are supposedly untamable Me: cats? Vince: sure why not (refer to insanity page) *VETTEANGEL7: sorry, wanna be a nun in ca and assonate arny? ElevStrts: sure ElevStrts: I'm all for that VETTEANGEL7: they'll never suspect a couple of humming nuns ElevStrts: precisely ElevStrts: it's brilliant VETTEANGEL7: when in reality we r 006.5 and the slayer... ElevStrts: DUN DUN DUN (And the world turns...) *Derek: 1913 Mr. Hoilman: He�s not that old. Derek: He went back to the future in 1913. (Yes, we are the �challenging� English class) *Zane: What�s JE? Robin: June. Zane: I didn�t know you could summarize June� *Me: Did you know the alphabet is just a bunch of shapes? *Me: Spell alphabet. Holly: A-L-F� (Note: Really CHALLENGED�) *Mr. White: I just can�t slow up! *Eunson: For what it�s worth�the internet�(insert Eunson laugh here)�is pretty useless� *That doesn�t mean you go to PENGUIN COUNTRY in you BIKINI and eat constantly and survive. (Eunson, on Thermodynamics�or travel opportunities�) *Is their education different? That�s for our ancestors�no, wait future, OFFSPRING to decide� (Mr. Rose�SPANIARDS ARE WEIRD.) *Mr. Hoilman: So if you are in mid-air straddling the realms, you ARE tardy. *Me: Note to self: Study Geometry. Jess: Note to self: Ditto. *Mr. Eunson: Being a man, I love it�I�ll tell a woman I had prostate cancer, and she�ll laugh and she�ll say, �OH! I�ve had that��I just LAUGH. *On the 6th day God made man; later He made woman when He got sick of Adam wondering around the garden refusing to ask for directions.... (Ashley Clouse's away message) *Deer don't start fires. Deer are always careful to put out their cigarattes. *Some day the United States will burn from the Atlantic to the Specific Ocean. *Am I the ONLY person who still lives in the 13th CENTURY???? (Eunson and his almighty Wisdom...) *Eunson: How do we know the Earth goes around the sun? Christine: We've been up there. Eunson: We went to the Sun-----and watched the Earth? Christine: No, we went to neighboring planets. The sun is too hott. *This IS most intresting. (Eunson on trash bags.) *You need to touch, you need to feel, you need to expierence. Science has proven you need to touch. (Eunson on how we are idiots when we forgot about the grams of water involved in the equation in order to make it all a balanced equiliburium without making up numbers...yeah.) *ARE YOU READY TO DIE?!?!?!?!? (This is why Mrs. Tucker keeps her door shut...Big Dave gets too excited.) *Eunson: I bought that stuff! I walked up and down every street in Johnson City and not one girl came out of their house. Brittany: Maybe it wasn't a breezy day. (A big thank you to AXE Colonge) *If we had left the stupid ASS-bestos in there... (Steam heating 101, brought to you by CHEM II.) *We ain't goin' there. (Dave, on Plasma.) *If heat is leaving the ice, it's water. If heat is entering the water, it's ice. No, WAIT...I got it backwards. (Thermodynamics...joy.) *You wouldn't follow the Pied-Piper straight into the gates of HELL would ya?!?!?! (Eunson, discouraging us to follow the opinions of our classmates...after we all agreed on the wrong ansewr.) *That is a QUAD TRILLION times longer... (Eunson's realistic numbers...) *Jess: (sees all the answers written in her Geo. book, and upon seeing they were right, turns to to the "issued to" page) GOD BLESS THESE PEOPLE. *Like I told sixth peroid, VOMIT knowledge all over those papers! (Me thinks Mr. Hoilman, a.k.a.-teach of the yr., gets a little too happy when it comes to essay questions...) *Mr. Hoilman: Oh, go on and read it! I made Scotty do it...it doesn't involve soup in it? Me: (Zane sniggers) Yes, it does. (Reads paper, with class laughing at the jokes they catch.) *WOW! She's right up there with Mel Brooks! (Mr. Hoilman's reference to "ROBIN HOOD, Men in Tights" on my Sir Bedivere letter to Sir Giles Edward Charles Phillip IV of Green Chapel Hill.) *Jessica's e-mail Signature: May Sean Penn win every possible award... or may the academys' crops wither & die. *You wouldn't follow the Pied Piper straight into the gates of HELL would ya!?!?!? (Eunson, on the peer pressure of us all answering yes to a question, when the real answer was no.) *I KNEW ther was something missing from today's session! (Jess, on ALTOIDS) *That is a QUAD-TRILLION TIMES LARGER! *Europe is the Unknown. (Eunsoniums��what else?) *It's John McCain. He looks like Garth Brooks on steroids. (Jess refers back to what I said about steroids in every pot when ARNY S. won the CA election...I think.) *Dr. Seuss would roll over in his grave!�`I do not like this turn in life. I do not like this turn in life.�(Robin Currie on the movies�particularly THE GRINCH and THE CAT IN THE HAT.)*What�s your problem? You�ve got a thumb that stutters!(Eunson to Scotty about him not being able to stop the stopwatch exactly on a few seconds�) *Walking down the hall Michelle says �CALM DOWN�. I say, �Did you say condom?�. (Amanda Hensley�lol.) *DEAR SANTA, Forget the Gameboy and the Holey Pants�I ARE A STUDENT! (Eunson, directing us on the ways to write a letter to Santa�and be prepared for school.) *(Euson explains how he will freeze a fly to put it to sleep, then get it out of the cold to wake it up�) Aaron: He can�t do that! It�s inhumane. Me: Say it�s against your religion. *Eunson: I love my kids (speaking of Chem I students) ---but sometimes I wanna take a baseball bat---How long has that note been on the side of the board? Class: A while--- Eunson: A WHILE! THAT�S ENOUGH! *Some students in this class are a bunch of �rich, non-reading, button pushers�� (That would be Chem II�as it says on his board.) *You know the capital of Chicago is Illinois! (Eunsoniums�) *Eunson: Nobody knows exactly how many people are in this school--- Scotty: 791 Eunson: 771? Scotty: No, 791. Eunson: 800 IS A GOOD ROUND NUMBER. *Old ladies go like 15 (holds up 7 fingers) miles per hour! (Christine�either statement works�) *Mother wants to see your magic trick. (insert evil Eunson laugh) Sometimes parents aren�t so smart. Go up to them and say, you can quote me, �Mr. Eunson says QUOTE `You should be asking me about my day� UNQUOTE�QUOTE�. *(Eunson stares at me for a minute then�) There are weird things�on TV. *�As a mother, what is more important? A hot romp in bed or your baby in the hot car? (So plain put Eunson.) Eunson: We all know where babies come from--- Me and Robin: (in a loud whisper) THE STORK. *(A footnote I put on ZZ�s Chem Notes) *This lesson is not approved by pyromaniacs. *Eunson sets several things on fire. *DO NOT SMOKE IN THE COAL MINES! *(anime cartoon) Kuaraba: It smeels girly, I don't like it. Yuska: I suppose he's supposed to be a tough guy like you...and be obcessed with kittens... *(Kim Possible) Mega Rufus 3000 (aka-huge naked mole rat of the future cloned of Rufus): PRIME ONE (to first Rufus)! What is the meaning of life? First Rufus (aka-very small naked mole rat): hmmmmmmmm...(thinks) CHEESE!!!!!! (So true, right Jess?) *Look! They're River Dancing! (Mallory on swans via very disturbing Bio II movie) *He's going at it like a pro! (Justin on...wolf mating...VERY DISTURBING.) *It all started with two perfectly fine homosexual men in LA... (I'm telling you, I get alot out of this class. But nice info Scotty!) (�`�._��(�`�._�|Newest Deepness|�_.���)��_.���) *Yay! Mr. Eunson is a happy man. *...because we don't any more ignorant people in the world---That's not an insult like "YOU IGNORANT MORONS!". *(Eunson stops right in the middle of a lecture about Ksp)--- Besides their daily needs, I'm convinced that birds play. *The whole United States is surrounded by MAN EATING sharks waiting for you. *---This REALLY isn't true, but anyway--- (and we really put our hope in faith in this man...EUNSON? *The Pacific or the Specific Ocean...whiever one I go to at Myrtle Beach... *See? If you care about your puppt, you got it fresh H2O...-Which I completely forgot about. She's probably at home, waiting for me, with her tounge stuck to the top of the water. *shrugs* (then cont. lecture) *Are those the same Sodium Ions you saw at the beginning of the year? NO!!! They are SWIMMING! NOT SUNNING THEMSELVES ON THE BOTTOM OF THE JAR. *I was sitting on the bench with my lover---making acute scientific observations... (WOW! THAT's A V DAY SPEECH FOR YA!) *Eunson: Is the water evaporating in here? Christine: Yes. Eunson: The answer is NO. Christine: Oh. Eunson: The answer is yes. *(takes happy bird out from under the glass prison) See? HAPPY BIRD. When you put him in his cage he is depressed...(bird dips for water) AWWWW SEE? HAPPY BIRD! *That's why people bring bombs to school- they are bored in life. *Eunson: Is the bird happy? Christine: The bird is peeing. *Eunson: Is the Happy Bird happy? Christine: It needs Zoloft. Eunson: (at bird) SUCK IT UP! SHUT UP! THIS IS LIFE DEAL WITH IT...BIRD, or you won't be alive for long... (well, that was uplifting) *There's Chem II in a TANG BOTTLE! *Eunson: How do you heat your house? Christine: We have vents... Eunson: Ok, you have a furnance... Christine: NO I don't. Eunson: YES you do. (So he is omni-present...) *Little kids do this, and strange Chemistry teachers do this... (at least he admits it) *I laugh at older people...NOT YOU! I LOVE YOU! When you graduate High School, your brain drops to your feet. *It's called divorce. Oh, it can be annulment if you're 21 and didn't know any better, then you're probably blonde and sing songs and STRIP on T.V. (Someone has a TIVO!) *Anull THAT BABY! *Mother is the big person in your life; I don't care if she has long hair, short hair, or if he wears a skirt! *We cannot poo-poo the idea of MAD COW DISEASE! *Well, one of my childs. *The Bird has been didicted for some time. *Eunson: What does that look like? Me & Scotty: A right angle. Scotty: I should have said an L. *(Brittney enters from short office trip in which Euson told her to go ahead and take her book) Eunson: When I told you to take the book, it was for exercise---(looks at clock)---You didn't go down there. Brittney: Yes I did. Eunson: You didn't have time to go down there. Brittney: Yes I did. Eunson: You just stepped outside and smoked a cigarette! *Zane: It's Eunson's Cigarette Theory...one plus one equals 1! *(stops in the middle of yet another lecture) Typical American birds like their freedom. |
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