She comes in about six o'clock,
tripping over toys and picking up socks
And you think her day had been a ton of trouble
She's been doing important things,
with trading stamps and turnip greens
And have I noticed how the price of soap has doubled?
(Bridge:)
She's as normal as she can be
She never misses Jeopardy
And I think that she'd elope with Dick van Dyke
[And/*But] when the kids have all been fed,
and when I lay me down to bed,
she gives me my time of the night.
(Chorus:)
Then she's a lover, she comes to my side
Right around midnight, after her day's been so confused
That's why I love her, and that's why I do right
And if there's a reason God gave me a feeling, baby, it's you.
She hates tangerines, she loves the ring,
volunteers me for everything
And the bank has never been right in her life
She thinks my Uncle Bill's a sap
She's taught me words like overdraft
The only numbers she remembers is her shoe size.
She had words with the guy next door,
and almost started a neighborhood war,
'cause he said something smart to our son Bob
And therefore I had to invite him in
to apologize and convince him
that she really didn't mean he was a big, fat slob.
Bridge*
Chorus (bis)