Airfarcewon

Someone stole my clutch

I bought an old Ford Escort, painted light blue like the sky
A stealing deal for ninety bucks, it's a stick shift, guess that's why
She purred soft like a kitten, front tires needed tread
I parked outside a grocery, popped in to buy bread.

And someone stole my clutch
Some no good such and such
Only spent five minutes there, inside
I hope I catch that guy or guys
Gonna blacken all their eyes
And slowly choke them till revenge in me subsides

I head on home, pissed as can be, cellphone rings when in my drive
Someone says it's been towed away, I owe a hundred five
While on the phone I'm raging receiver breaks my tooth
New cap takes two more C-notes, here in downtown Duluth.

'cause someone stole my clutch
I'm deep in debt and dutch
Sold that Ford for thirty bucks to Clyde
Not'ry public charged me nine
Spent eleven on some wine
With all these domino effects, down "Three eight-five".

Just pray I find that thief, wherever he may be
I'll kick him on his fat butt, and choke him endlessly

He made my day distressful, for a lousy Escort part
It would have been so restful, not this chaos la carte
Right then a drifter mugs me, to the hospital I'm sent
No words say how it bugs me, wish I had been Clark Kent

Yes, someone stole my clutch
I'm back at home with a crutch
Therapy has ebbed my anger tide
No longer want that thief to die
He can live in pain and cry
When I squeeze his neck till revenge in me subsides
Gonna squeeze his neck till revenge in me subsides!

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