Ben Colder

Dont't go near the Eskimos

Oop shoop moogi mushy doggy, oh
Oop shoop moogi ay
Means son, don't go near the Eskimos
Please do what I say

My daddy was working
For the weather station
A little bit North of Nome
And I grew up in that frozen country
Where the nights are six months long

I used to play like I was an Eskimo
I put whale oil on my hair
And every night I would beg my folks
Let me sleep in the frigid air


I was seventeen and my voice was changing
But the girls didn't thrill me none
'Cause I longed to go see an Eskimo
On the banks of the old Yukon

One night I slipped from my daddy's house
A little bit north of Nome
I knew that I could get back by morning
'Cause the nights are six months long


And there she was
Sitting on a chunk of ice
Eating a frozen fish
And dipping her friskies
In whale blubbe

And I said, ooga shooga mooshka
Which means the love in my heart
Is a burning

And she said, ooga mooshka nooshka
And that means, back up, buddy
You're melting the ice

I went back home and I told my daddy
About this maiden fair
And how I felt I'd love to melt
Them icicles in her hair

Dad's trembling lips turned purple
And his breath began to freeze
It was then he told me
I could never rub noses
With pretty little Um Shog Nee

He said, son, when you were born
Well, the Eskimo and the white man
Were having a lot of wild parties, see
The Eskimos always brought the ice

Well, they's having a lot of fun, you see
So one night, this Eskimo named Pie Eye
That's right, son, a pie-eyed Eskimo
He stole my little boy and made
A icicle out of him

So I stole you to get even
I was gonna make a
Fudgesicle out of you

But I loved you like you's my very own
And I treated you just, you know
Just like the cold blooded
Little Eskimo that you are

So you see, son, you can never
Rub noses with Um Shog Nee no more
Because, excuse me, see, Um Shog Nee
Has the coldest nose in Alaska
And that's why I've always say


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