Don't bring Zulus

Your presence is requested at our big Zoo fund bash
It's a liberal invitation with some slight reservation
No, I'm not talking status, or amounts of cash
Although no-one is excluded, this group just might clash, oh...

You can bring Ann with her bubble can,
but don't bring Zulus!
You can bring Jane, with her four leg cane,
but don't bring Zulus!

They're too mean and tall
When they dance, it shakes the wall
Always carry long sharp spears
that can puncture tender rears.

You can bring Dot, she's got boobs real hot,
but don't bring Zulus!
Zulus get wild, and if they are riled
could be bad for our health
We don't need fierce warriors,
in halls or in the foyers
Mind what you do, Bruce, don't bring Zulus
And be sure you tell Ralph!

Guests arrive at the party, famous names are here
But then in come Zulus, old Ralph's got a screw loose
They dance their ceremonies, drums beating loud and clear
With 50 of their cronies, none wear underwear, oh...

Could'a brought Wayne, if he'd used a crane,
but Ralph brought Zulus
Could'a brought Ruth with her missing tooth,
but Ralph brought Zulus.

Why does Ralph seem to do what he is not supposed to?
Zulus chanting all around, poking guests, shaking the ground.

He could'a brought Grace with moles on her face,
but Ralph brought Zulus
Peace disturbed, cop cruisers are curbed
Haul in all the Zulu.

Zoo fund rasing party
It's ruined, all's not hearty
Headlines show... new news:
"No more Zulus!
Zoo lose, and you lose, too!"

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