I drove my tractor through your haystack last night I threw me pitchfork at your dog to keep quiet Now something's tellin' me that you're avoiding me Come on now, darling, you've got something I need. (Chorus:) 'cause I got a brand new combine harvester And I'll give you the key Come on now, let's get together in perfect harmony I got twenty acres, and you got forty-three Now I got a brand new combine harvester And I'll give you the key. (spoken:) She made a laugh, ha-ha! I'll stick by you, I'll give you all that you need We'll have twins and triplets, I'm a man built for speed And you know I'll love you, darling, so give me your hand But what I want the most is all they acres of land. Chorus (spoken:) Oh, ah, she's a lovely bit of stuff and all. For seven long years I've been alone in this place Eat, sleep, in the kitchen, it's a proper disgrace Now if I cleaned it up, would you change your mind? I'll give up drinking, scrumpy, and that lager and lime. Chorus (spoken:) Who loves you, baby, ha! Weren't we a grand couple at that last wurzel dance I wore brand new gaters and me cordouroy pants In your new Sunday dress with your perfume smelling grand We had our photos took and us holding hands. Chorus (spoken:) Ah, you're a fine looking woman And I can't wait to get me hands on your land.