Well, I can chug with all the guys till three
Still harmonize and sing, "Bobby McGee"
But when those troopers stop and order me
Can't walk the line, can't walk that line.
I find it very very easy to get drunk
And drain my "Weewee" even when it's shrunk
But, when I try to "Heel-toe" I go Clunk!
Can't walk the line, can't walk that line.
As sure as night is dark, I'm high as kites
"Please, Occifer... turn off them gumball lights!"
A stork, I'm not... can't stand on one leg, nights.
No nose can find, can't walk the line.
The breathalyzer shattered when I blew
They read my rights, and let me read 'em, too
But when they said walk straight, I couldn't do
Can't walk the line, can't walk that line.
They take my watch and personals, they find
They shove me in a cell with "Mad Dog Cline"
Then, say I've got one phone call, I say "Fine!"
Three "A" is mine, I walked at "nine!"