We came to England through The Tunnel last night (that's right, that's right!)
We claim asylum now they're treating us right (so right, so right)
Oh, something tells me, Ahmed, this is the place to be
'cause here we're getting everything, and we're getting it for free!
Oh, I've got a brand new leather jacket and a brand new mobile phone
The Brits, they live in cartboard boxes while we get furnished homes
Legal aid driving lessons, central heating and free bills
Oh, we get all the benefits, and you get all the bills!
They drove a lorry from Ikea straight away (you pay, you pay)
TV's and furniture, it was mostly o.k. (you pay, you pay)
But the flat, it was unsuitable, the counsel's run by fools
After crossing fifteen countries, we need heated swimming pools!
We go to garage to by nice motor car (price is no bar)
Plush BMW 'cause we've come so far (price is no bar)
It costs many thousands, but man, oh what the heck
We come back tomorrow and we pay with welfare check!
We take our trollies 'round Tesco's each day (you pay, you pay)
Piled high with goodies, oh that is the way
Food and drink and CDs, phone cards and blue jeans
Old lady she get angry so we stole her tin of beans
We get TV licence, gas electricity (for me, for me!)
Your generosity is amazing to see (for me, for me!)
You even pay our phonebills so we call Afghanistan
Tell all our friends to come here and live on Englishman!
Our friends in Parliament, they're all on our side (cock-eyed, cock-eyed)
Sometimes they talk tough, but you know it's a lie (cocke-yed cock-eyed)
Immigration is a good thing, on that they all agree
The only ones who'll stop it are the wicked BNP!