I watched Jack Paar and all of the TV shows Layin' on my back, and a-peepin' out between my toes And then a western movie filled the screen It was the oldest and the worst one, I had ever seen. The Cowboy Star was a guy named Cactus Jack And he quit punchin' cows, 'cause the cows kept punchin' back Altho' the film was blurred, I could have swore Instead of ridin' on a horse, he was ridin' on a dinosaur. (Chorus:) Bad movies, always fracture me Bad movies, always on TV One-armed Pete come ridin' across the Rio Grande With a great big forty-five in either hand. The commerical came on and poor old Pete got shot Between the weather report and underarm deodorant spot. Chorus Well, I giggled and I tittered, and I laughed until I cried Then Mama come in and sat down by my side She said "What's ailin' you, you little creep" I told her, "Bad movies always make me weep".