* HEATSTROKE V *

08/26/06 HEATSTROKE V: the final chapter

1) E.S. Todd returned to take on the Scissorwolf - the winner gets a shot at the Globally Recognized Title.

The match ended in a double count-out

2) Rookie sensation Terry Menard defeated "the Tupelo Mississippi Flash" Beuregard Whitley in 3:59.  It was a good showing for Whitley, but he's still got a long way to go (and a short time to get there)

3) Monte Altazzar realized that the only way he could get a victory was to stack the odds in his favor, so he borrowed some money from the Millionaire, bribed someone on the Board of Directors, and signed a handicap match... Altazzar & "Saucebox" Michael P vs. Carl Stonewall!

... naturally, Altazzar & P won, but it took four minutes, seventeen seconds, and a lot of steel chairs.  Michael P got the pinfall.  Monte seemed rather unhinged during the match, as though his sanity might be waning.  Most likely this is a side-effect of all the loss he's been through recently.

4) Hunter Vargas defended the Globally Recognized Title in a three-way dance against Scissorwolf and E.S. Todd.  Scissorwolf got himself disqualified, therefore ending the match and allowing Vargas to retain the title.

5) "Polish Prince" Chad Derdowski defended theUndisputed Hungarian Commonwealth People's Heavyweight Championship of the World in a 4-way elimination match against M. Todd, B. LaLonde & M. Bear...

- KBL got himself DQ'd

- Todd pinned Bear

- Derdowski got himself DQ'd... and the title does not change hands on a disqualification.

6) In a fit of rage, the Widowmaker demanded another title shot, this time in the confines of a steel cage!  Derdowski accepted, and 4 minutes & 5 seconds later, won the match.

... thus concludes Heatstroke '06.  We'd like to thank all the fans for making this such a memorable weekend.