Sometimes it�s seems that crushes are latent. All they need is a word, a look, a smile and they flare again. Perhaps not as much as before, but with enough coaxing, you can start a small bonfire. I say this because I was thinking tonight of a certain gentleman that I once crushed on hard-core! I never told him and it passed. Recently I saw him and something sweet he said made me smile. But what made me revisit my feelings for him was a comment made by a bystander�and bam, my mind was off to the races! I thought to myself, when I was �in like� with this boy nothing happened and now, months after my crush has ended I hear comments that I would have killed to hear back then.

So what does it take to start a crush going again? I always thought that once a crush faded, there was no reclaiming the passion. But maybe I was wrong. As long as nothing detrimental happens between you and your crush perhaps there are always embers ready to be stoked if not into a raging fire than a smouldering heap. Could you carry feelings for everyone you�ve ever crushed on? Could you hold onto them unconsciously? And if the timing is right could you begin a romance?

Or is it merely the idea of romance that pulls me? Is it the idea that someone feels a certain way for me what makes me think there may be chances where sparks may fly? Wouldn�t it be ironic if after so long he learned to like me and I was �over him�? But are we ever really over people? Or do we remain �in like� with whatever it was we first saw in them that moved us? Do we ever release that part of ourselves that no longer sees them as potential mates?

Why do I sometimes miss that special someone I once loved? Even after the messy break-up (for me it was a case of unrequited love masking as intense friendship), there is still a part of you that sometimes longs for that person. I wish I could go back to that place of comfort and closeness I once shared with him. The saddest part is that because he changed into a person I could not be friends with, our relationship never developed. In fact, it deteriorated. Yet from time to time, I crave his company as it once was. I miss him. I don�t know if I would ever be friends with what he is now as I haven�t spoken to him in years but I do miss the friend that he was. I miss the person I talked to, laughed with and believed in.

Sometimes I wonder what he�s doing. I wonder where he is and if he ever thinks of me as I think of him. I wonder if he regrets how he treated me or if he has forgotten all about me. There came a point between us when I needed to let him go or go crazy. At first I thought it would be easy to let go of people. I now realize that once you�ve given someone a piece of your heart, you can never have it back. You know, I loved him so much it hurt. Letting go of him hurt but I thought it would end there. Little did I know that while your heart can grow, it can never recover that which it gave away.