| This is funny and original... MALE COMEBACKS TO FEMALE COMEBACKS TO MALE CHAT UP LINES Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat slut. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Probably because you will be on your knees sucking on my cock. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my car, I don't give a shit where you go. Male: Would you like to dance? Female: I'd rather die. Male: I think you mis-heard me. I said your arse looks fat in that skirt. |
| ORAL SEX-AN ODE TO LOVE Penis breath, a lover's dread Is what you get when you give head Unpleasant as it tends to be Be grateful that he doesn't pee It's times like this, you wonder why you bothered reaching for his fly But it's too late, can't be a tease Accept the facts, get on your knees You know you've got a job to do So open wide and shove it through Lick the tip then take it all Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl Slide up and down, use your tongue And feel the precum start to run So when the fuck's he gonna cum Just, when you can't take anymore You hear your lover's mighty roar And when he hits that real high note You feel it oozing down your throat Salty, fishy, sticky, yucky stuff Okay, already that's enough Let's switch you say, before you gag And whats your revenge, your on the rag. |
| *******The Top Ten Men!!******** 1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off your clothes" 2. The Dentist because he says,"Open Wide" 3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown" 4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you want it in front or in back?" 5. The Interior Decorator because he says,"Once you have it all in, you'll love it." 6. The Banker because he says,"If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest" 7. The Police Officer because he says,"Spread 'em" 8. The Mailman because he always delivers his package. 9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down. 10. The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice! |
| Support Condom Week- READ it! LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK 1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP 2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YR WHACKER 3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YR WILLY 4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YR SPOUT 5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YR BONER 6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YR DONG 7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT. 8. IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YR MONKEY 9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE 10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YR PETER 11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YR DICK 12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YR MEAT 13. WHILE YR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YR PENIS 14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YR TROUSER MOUSE 15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAPYR MEMBER 16. NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER 17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YR TOOL 18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YR ERECTION 19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL 20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER 21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE! |