I like fast cars, fast boats and naturally - fast women.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not big business NOR the upper 5% who routinely pay less taxes because of tax breaks the government has created. I fully realize that rich people get more benefits from the government and should therefore pay more taxes. I say this knowing that my investments will push me into that 5% should the market not continue to crash

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer. Nor does watching violent shows, or looking at naked people, even if the people are doing inexplicable things with whips, drugs, animals, chains, leather, shoes, etc.

I have good memories of the Boy Scouts, but if they are going to secretly change their name to Fag Haters of the USA, then I won't let my children join them.

I think I'm doing better than the homeless, and am willing to give them my spare change, but only through an organization, not on the street where they will annoy everyone.

I don't think being a minority makes you scum or a criminal.

I have the right not to be tolerant of morons.

I know there is nothing wrong with having SEX.

While I have a vague belief in God, I don't actively participate in religious activities. If you want to that's fine; just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are living in America, you should speak English, but if you don't the government should pay for an interpreter when you have to deal with the government.

I think the Government does NOT have the legal power to hold an American prisoner with no rights simply because some soldier thinks he might be an enemy of the state. Just because he told his boss andthey told their boss and they got the President to say it, doesn't make it true. A full trial with judge, jury and defense attorney must be held before declaring someone to be an Enemy of the State.

If I received a blow job from one of my subordinate employees in my office, people would ignore it, not mount a multi-million dollar investigation.

I know when a candidate clearly LOST the popular election and what the Laws are when the electoral vote is extraodinarily close. Instead of IGNOREING the laws, I want them to be obeyed, forcing the State Assemblyman to select their electors. ESPECiALLY if they would be forced to either vote for the Democrat that clearly had the majority of Florida votes or risk being voted out of office next session.

I know what the definition of lying is and I am NOT gullible enough to think politicians (Republican or Democrat) are honest.

I am not stupid enough to believe the blatantly false rumors about special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., for people not born in this country.

I thought the Taco Bell dog looked like a rat.

I want them to INVENT safe and sane fireworks, because the fireworks I grew up with were dangerous.

I believe people can listen to what they want on the radio, and I am smart enough to realize I can close my windows and turn on my own radio if theirs annoys me.

I realized long ago that unless you are dirt poor and supporting a family, if you have any brains you go to college instead of getting a job at Jack in the box.

I know that exercising more is more important than eating "lite" foods.

I did not need to fight for my country to realize that just because 100 years ago they were prejudice enough to think the Constitution let you kill black people for looking at a white women, that does NOT mean we have to use that same interpretation of the Constitution. We have learned from our mistakes and realize that implicit in generic freedoms that we rightly voted into place are specific freedoms that it may take us some time to understand.

I don't hate the rich, pity the poor, or think women are better than men.

I know wrestling is fake, and badly acted. It still is better plotted than any episode of the X-Files. Neither compare to anything Joss Whedon thought of.

I've never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage or our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either. Similarly, while I am American, both I and a large percentage of our forefathers WERE NOT CHRISTIAN. Jews helped fund the American Revolution, and I am PROUD to be descendended from them. Without us, you would be saluting the English Flag and discussing the sex lives of the British Royalty instead of the Hollywood starlets. So stop trying to force my kids to listen to christian prayers at school. When they want or need to pray, they will (no matter how many lies you say, NO law prevents any kid from praying - the laws prevent you from telling the kid to pray).

I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing them. But it works better if you are actually undressing them.

I believe self-righteous conservatives with a cause have done more damage to our country than all the guns ever produced. Starting with the Klu-Klux-Klan, continuing past the idiots that spent uncounted Federal dollars only to totally fail to charge a sitting president with even a misdemeanor offense.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the "Rev." Jerry Falwell, preaches; and besides what exactly is his job function.

I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue, unless I can get pictures.

I can own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, IF they get a permit to make sure they are not an escaped convict, known rapist, or have been found mentally insane.

I worry about my girlfriend and family members dying before I worry about my own death.

I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet, and am not STUPID enough to believe or make up lies about a Vice President claimed he did. The man said he supported it's creation, that all. God people, don't you EVER check your sources.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. I also belive he does NOT have the right to:
1) Charge computer makes for every computer they sell, even if their computers are APPLE computers with not a speck of Microsoft programming on it.
2) Threaten to stop selling any product to a computer manufacturer if they do not include all of Microsoft Products on PC's that have Windows on them.
3) Give your competitors information about upcoming Microsoft product (allowing them to make full use of and integrate it into their system) and not give it to you unless you stop selling a product that competes with Microsoft.
(Note Microsoft has been convicted for doing ALL of these things and given slaps on the wrist and told not to do them again.)

I realize that cops are people, not perfect machines. This means some are prejudiced, so it is obvious that that certain minorities need extra protection to ensure that federal cops will investigate when a black drifter gets killed in a small town, even if the Sheriff has a wonderful reputation and comes from a proud family and swears the vagrant just fell down the steps.

I like the convenience of buying oranges from a sidewalk vendor and get really upset when the conservatives pass laws to get the police to harrass the vendors.

We do not need more laws, we need to interpret the ones we have fairly. However, as long as conservatives Supreme Court Judges insist that we follow the old precedents, and refuse to admit that the old interpretations were WRONG, we are stuck with new laws.

I like Turkey burgers. Turkey Bacon on the other hand has a special place in Hell waiting for it.

I know rewards work better than punishments, even if the observed reactions appear not to (due to regression to the mean). I am also smart enough to realize that if your kid needs to be spanked, than you have ALREADY failed as a parent, and quite probably YOU should be spanked as well.

I think that ALL art, including tattoos and piercing are political statements. I also realize that more than halve such political statements are garbage.

I'll admit that I cry at a lot of movies, including both Ole Yeller and A.I.

I have fond memories of Dr. Seuss and knew he was a genius since I was a kid.

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions.

I thought this country allowed me that right I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings, or out of fear of being called "A liberal".

I'm not a pervert, nor weak on crime, nor anti-american, no matter how desperately the conservative mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I guess by their definition, I'm a GOOD American.

Written by Andrew Coleman.