MEETING SOMEONE THROUGH INTERNET CHAT SYSTEMS
I know that meeting someone through internet chat systems may seem like a good idea to you, but keep in mind
that you should be careful when doing so. There are reasons that the internet is known as "the net of a million lies",
so it's for the better that you remain a little skeptical about those that you are chatting with until you have reason
not to be. There are people out there who seem to enjoy playing with the emotions of other people (I don't know why),
and there really aren't any consequences for their actions.
I know from experience that these people can really get into your head when they want to, it isn't very hard to tell lies
when their only connection with you is via miles of copper wire. But there are also many very nice people out there,
it's just not very easy to tell the difference between the two at first is all.
I remember the first time that I met someone on-line that I wished to become involved with, that was in ICQ
(if anyone still uses that) in the later 1990's. She seemed to be pretty much perfect, more-or-less exactly what I
was looking for at the time - she had [or seemed to have] all the qualities that I had listed in my profile as my
ideal girlfriend (which should have tipped me off...).
We carried on for a while via the internet, but she always had some reason for not being able to talk on the telephone
or meet somewhere, and I always believed her. In retrospect, I should have known better, but looking back gives
you 20:20 vision I suppose. After a while, I had become rather attached to her, and then she simply disappeared, as if
she had fallen off the face of the earth or something. I tried E-mailing a couple times, then came to the realization that
I'd been made a fool of. I was certainly not very happy about that, to say the least, but there was nothing that I could do about it.
After all, what was I going to do about it complain to the administrators on the ICQ server I used? I don't think so,
I just had to deal with it on my own. I decided at that point that it wasn't worth the time and effort it took to become
involved with someone over the internet, I figured that there would be a great many people who would be like that.
I'd been completely turned off the idea of on-line romance altogether. I'm glad that I changed my mind on that,
considering that I met my current girlfriend (Katrina) via the chatroom at tsgirlfriend.com, and I'm very happy.
I know that this might make you think the same thing that I did a few years back about on-line romance, but let me
assure you that it certainly is possible. The only thing to remember is that you are only connected to those whom
you are chatting with through copper wire, and you should retain a healthy skepticism about them until you are
sure that they are who they say they are. That way, you should be reasonably safe from people who would
enjoy messing with your mind.
Here are some things that you should watch for:
Keep an eye out for things that change each time the other person mentions them to you, such as their age or where
they work, etc... As that might be a clue that you are being lied to. If something like their place of employment changes,
you might consider asking them why they switched jobs or something along those lines, because they may very well
have just found a better job somewhere.
If you find yourself becomming interested in the person that you are chatting with, try to arrange a telephone conversation
and see what happens. If he or she gives you some reason that you can't call them at that time, try for another time
or give them a contact number for you if you wish (remember, they are doing this for you as well). If they do give
you a number to reach them through, give it a try while you are still in chat with them if possible, that way you are
able to speak with them if something doesn't work.
I know from personal experience that there are occasionally problems contacting each other over the phone, but this
doesn't mean that something is wrong. The first time Katrina and I arranged to speak over the phone, the number
that she gave me didn't work, so I e-mailed her about it. She discovered that her cellular phone carrier had killed it
without telling her about it (I can't say the reason for this here), so we arranged another time to call. The second time
didn't work, either - no answer, so I tried again later. This time, everything went according to plan, I had simply
forgotten about the difference between time zones on the second try. I'm certainly glad that that I don't give up easily,
otherwise I wouldn't have persisted in my attempts to contact her, and therefore I wouldn't be able to call her my
girlfriend now. Sometimes you simply have to clear things up to be sure, usually someone who is simply leading
you on will not continue it very long after the first failed call.
Another thing that most of the people who are just playing with you won't do is run their webcam, for fear that
you might know them. If you are asked to run your cam, you should ask them to do the same thing, it's only fair.
If the other person doesn't want to run their cam, then I leave it up to you to decide if you want to run yours, but
(unless a good reason is given) I wouldn't really recommend it. The main reason for this is simple - they may very
well not be who they present themselves to be in reality, you don't know for sure. As I said above though, this
is entirely up to you.
BOTTOM LINE
If you decide to go ahead and become involved with someone that you know from the internet, that's your choice.
I'm not saying that it is a bad idea, but you do have to be more careful about becomming too attached to someone
that you know only on-line then you do with someone that you know in person. All I can say at this point is that you
should keep in mind what I have stated above, and use common sense when it comes to on-line romance. As long
as you do that, you should be just fine. Good luck to you, whatever you choose.
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