And she's never quite right in the head,
She's loopy,
She's screwy
And stinks of patchouli,
There's an old woman asleep in my bed.
Get out of my bed you old trout,
With your grey wrinkly stockings and your gout,
You're loopy,
Cuckoo!
Why do you rinse your hair blue?
Get out of my bed you old trout!
I'm only going to tell you one more time,
Get out of that bed 'cos it's mine!
You're loopy,
You're knees knock,
And you smell like damp socks,
Get out of that bed 'cos it's mine!
There's an old woman asleep in my bed,
Then again, I hope she ain't dead!
She's the loopiest,
I've ever seen,
Flippin' 'eck it's the Queen!
There's an old woman asleep in my bed.
When his hands turned slimy and green,
Then mucus spread up his arms,
Faster than we'd ever seen,
Soon it had engulfed his head,
And the rest of his body too,
The doctors examined him closely,
But there was nothing they could do,
Soon our Steve became a green blob,
That couldn't move or speak,
The only sound that came out of his gob,
Was a pathetic little squeak,
But this could happen to anybody,
And to stop it happening to you,
Always remember to wash your hands,
After you've been to the loo!
Who burped one day on a double decker,
The noise was so loud,
It frightened the crowd,
Of old people going to the Mecca.
There are at least one million bed bugs crawling around in your mattress feasting on your dead skin at night. Sweet dreams.
The average person wees over 5000 litres of urine in their lifetime. Just remember to flush the toilet everytime or you'll be flooding the bathroom in a year!
