You are my extra special friend,
So I'll tell you what I'll do,
I've been saving this bogey for myself,
But I'll give half of it to you!
Justice for the suspended one,
Who flushed down the toilet a sodium bomb,
After all it was just an act of glee,
Done at the end of school at half past three.
He did not know that Mrs Brown,
The Headmistress with the warts and frown,
Would choose that time to go to the loo,
Reading her magazine whilst having a poo.
As the sodium bomb wreaked havoc down below,
In the drains and sewers where only rats go,
Mrs Brown sat all unaware,
Of the mounting pressure just below her.
From down below she heard a strange grumbling,
But put it down to her bottom rumbling,
There was no need for alarm or worry,
It was simply the effects of last night's curry.
Mrs Brown began to complete her crossword,
Then came a bang louder than you've ever heard,
Of the toilet and Mrs Brown there was no more,
And a foot deep of water covered the floor.
At last, justice for the expelled one!
Ten years later my legend lives on,
For every new student is told of me,
My name will go down in history!
Mrs McThistle would often wolf whistle,
At any young man in the land,
If a young man she did meet,
She'd chase him down the street,
With zimmer frame well in hand.
If Mrs McThistle ever gives you a wolf whistle,
Run away, hide, resist,
She says she's still in her prime,
She's at least ninety-nine,
Run away before she gives you a kiss.
Ron Sherwin of St. Ives, Cornwall collects airline sick bags. Makes a change from Pokemon.
