Kat in Anime Land

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PART 15---Wufei's split second of redemption
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As Wufei continued to belt out lines to They Might be Giant's song S-E-X-X-Y, Ranma ran into Chuck E. Cheese's back room and dragged out a camcorder.
"What luck! Why do you have a camcorder in the first place?" Kat asked.
Ranma shrugged. "We use it to tape some o' the kids' birthday parties; crap like that. There's probably footage on there of a group of four-year old kids screaming with joy and trying to gangrape me."
Kat laughed. "Just turn it on and get this! It's the only time we'll get Wuffies in this position. It's blackmail time!"
"'X,' because it's extra, baby. 'Y,' because it's extra, baby. You gotta understand--She wants to be your man...She's got another plan," sang Wufei. As he finished the song, he blew a kiss to his audience. "Just remember, all you guys and gals...Wufei loves you all." Then he passed out.
"Well, uhh...now that that wonderful show is over, I have to go to the bathroom." Kusi said. He got up and walked over to the bathroom. Kat watched him as he walked in.
"HURRY EVERYONE, WE HAVE TO GO BEFORE HE GETS BACK!" Kat Screamed. Everyone ran out (including their new best friend, RANMA), and Inu grabbed veggie (who was playing the frog race game) and they ran out into the forest.
They stopped about 10 minutes later, tired and winded.
"God, that guy was annoying..." Kat panted, "He was cool for like the first 10 minutes... but then he got a little obsessive with the 'protecting' thing..."
"Yeah, I kinda felt sorry for you." Duo said.
They all began slowly walking through the forest to...uh... wherever they were going, when all of a sudden, something came out of the bushes and grabbed Kat, then jumped up into a tree.
"AHH! WHAT THE HELL?!" Kat screamed.
"OH MY GOD, ITS SESSHOMARU" Inuyasha yelled.
"HA HA HA HA HA! SHE IS MINE NOW! THIS IS REVENGE FOR EMBARASSING ME, LITTLE BROTHER!" Sessho screamed, and then he disappeared.
Meanwhile, Ranma was jumping around like a bunny on crack. "OHMYGODWHATAREWEGOINGTODO?! WHATAREWEGOINGTODO?! KATISGONE! GONEGONEGONE! WHATAREWEGOINGTO--mmph!"
The "mmph" was caused by Groonkbob smacking her hand over his mouth. "Veggie and I will get her back! We work to protect the innocent and smite the ones that we don't like!"
"We do what?" Veggie said, with a confused expression on her face.
"Come, my trusty sidekick! Beyond the trees, where none can see our transformation!"
"What are you--ahhhhhhh!" Veggie yelled, as Groonkbob grapped her by the hand and ran off behind a clump of trees.
They emerged several moments later, Veggie looking miffed, and Groonkbob ignorant but brave. Groonkbob had boxer shorts with the American flag sitting atop her head, and a green pool noodle taped around her waist. Her shirt had a flag on it as well, along with the Old Navy (I'm sure I'm gonna get sued for using the store in here) logo. Veggie, on the other hand, was wearing green, purple, and neon blue plaid pants, with a Smurfs (another lawsuit waiting to happen) shirt, and a noodle like Groonkbob's.
"Uh," said Veggie.
"I, Commander American Boxer Shorts, and my trusty sidekick, The Mismatched Wonder, shall rescue Mistress Katie from the clutches of evil! She shall not be forced to live in agony with the dreaded Sesshomaru for a moment longer!"
"Uh," said Veggie again.
Everyone else stared at them.
Inuyasha smacked the palm of his hand to his forehead. "We're all doomed," he muttered.
"SILENCE, INFIDEL!" Veggie yelled, getting into the super-hero idea, and ripping off her utility belt (noodle) and whacking him in the head. "I shall not be mocked!"
"Ow! Not nice..."
"That's what I thought!" she said, folding her arms.
Inuyasha frowned. "You thought you weren't nice?"
"What? No, we're talking about two different things."
"Then what did you think?"
"Are you saying that I don't think before I act?!"
"What?! NO! I said 'not nice,' and you said, 'that's what I thought,' which implies that you thought that you were thinking that you weren't nice."
Veggie blinked. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU STUPID HEAD?!"
Inuyasha sighed. "Nevermind..." then he picked Veggie up with one arm, Groonkbob with the other, and told everyone else to follow him and keep up.
"Oh! Look Trusty Sidekick, we're flying! I always wanted to fly! OOOOOOOOO!" Groonkbob babbled on.
"Groonkbob, we're being carried by a super-strong demon and we're only--"
"Shhhhhh....don't say my name, someone might find out my secret identity! "
"--a foot off the ground," Veggie finished.
"Kat is screwed." Heero said. "And so why exactly are we sending a sugar-high person with boxers on her head and a person in mismatched clothes both with noodles to rescue Kat?"
"Do not belittle the handy, dandy utility belts! If I wasn't flying--"
"...Being carried by Inuyasha," Veggie sighed.
"--I'd show you the true an awesome power of the Utility Belt and use it to smack you with a large, smelly trout!" Groonkbob shouted over the noise of flying (being carried by Inuyasha).
"Where exactly are we going? How do you know where your brother took Kat?" Kyra asked before anyone could reply to Groonkbob's statement and before Groonkbob got any more excited and strangled Inuyasha while trying to whack Heero.

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PART 16---Sesshie's Secret Lair + Cake = Praying Mantis
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Inuyasha set Groonie and Veggie on the ground and sniffed around cautiously. "Now where was that secret knot?" he mumbled.
After a while of futile searching, Duo started to get restless. "Man, this is hopeless," he whined, leaning against the trunk of a rather bulky tree.
Suddenly, a door opened in its trunk.
Everyone blinked.
Duo suddenly became very interested in his shoes. "I, uh, meant to do that," he said, toeing the ground anxiously.
Inu glared at him as he walked past, and everyone filed along behind him.
Duo reached out and grabbed Kyra's sleeve. "You're staying with me. We're just going to, uh...secure the perimeter!" he called out to Inuyasha.
Angel dubiously eyed Kyra, bashing Duo over the head, and decided they wouldn't get much looking-out done. She tapped Heero on the shoulder, and motioned for him to stay behind as well.
Heero looked around frantically for a moment, and then grabbed Wufei's arm, and Fuu, who was looking rather nervous. "You guys have to stay back here, too," he said, in his usual deadbeat voice.
The rest of the party meandered down the spiral staircase and found themselves in a Sesshie's (not-so) Secret Lair.
Ranma looked around, apprehensive. "Where's Ka...Ka..." he stuttered, his jaw dropping.
Everyone looked in the direction he was staring, and saw Kat with her hands tied behind a chair, cake stuffed in her mouth, and a...blond...wig?
Groonie snorted.
Everyone jumped at the sound of Sesshomaru's voice.
"Here, Jak...Rabbit. Why don't you have some tea..." he sighed, trailing off as if he hadn't asked a question.
"Oh, Madhattersama, I would love some tea!"
Rin giggled. "Yay, Sesshomaru!"
Veggie fell down laughing, breaking the awkward silence.
"In-nnnnn-truders!" Sesshomaru screamed, throwing his top hat to the ground.
Quickly, Inuyasha drew Tetsusaiga and jumped at Sesshomaru, screaming. Groonie had set on to Jaken, beating him with her "Utility Belt." Ranma was at Kat's side, untying her wrists from behind the chair. Veggie and Angel stood at the side, gaping. Ranma ran up beside them, carrying Kat. He set her gently on the ground and began to shovel all the cake out of her mouth (uh, hands, you sick, sick bastards).
Then, Inuyasha went careening past them, hitting the wall at their backs. Angel and Veggie nodded quickly at each other as they stood up, back to back.
Veggie tilted her head back to whisper to Angel. "Do you know...Praying Mantis?"
"Tch!" she exclaimed, hurt. "You're lookin' at her." Veggie nodded.
They raised their right arms and legs and their eyes widened. "WHOOOOO-AHHH!" (go watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights, you un-moviefied FOOLS) They threw themselves at Sessho, screaming rabid battle cries.
After kicking Sessho in the shins several times (who didn't seem to be phased by it at all), Inuyasha made his brilliant recovery.
"What are you--dah!" he groaned, trying to kindly shove Angel and Veggie out of the way, and violently brandishing Tetsusaiga at his half-brother.
Everyone stood back and stared, dumbstruck, as Inuyasha struck Sesshomaru with the flat of his sword, knocking him out. He looked at Rin, who was crying, and stopped before finishing his brother off. He closed his eyes and sheathed Tetsusaiga, and walked back up the staircase, grumbling.
Angel pat Rin on the head, and gave her a kind of weak smile, before filing off behind Inuyasha again. Ranma looked after Inu and his small parade of people, confused. Then he picked up a rather drowsy Kat again and ran after everyone.
***later on that night*** Wufei stood in front of his trusty Nataku with tearstained cheeks, wiping his eyes. "Nataku...there is another I love. I can no longer live a lie. Their name is..." there was a sudden flare of voices from the nearby campfire (owing to Duo having, again, mocked Kyra's femeninity...or lack thereof), and Wufei's words were lost in the hubbub. Wufei quietly put his Nataku dolly into the Gundam's hand.
As Wufei slowly sidled back into camp, Heero glowered at him in his usual manner. "Where's your Pocket-Nataku?" he asked apathetically, glancing up at him.
Wufei shrugged. "I must have lost it somewhere." He sat down next to his fellow pilot and looked at him covertly. Heero glanced at Wufei with his eerily vacant eyes.
Angel frowned. Was Heero...smiling?
Kat spoke, breaking Angel's concentration. "Minna, go to sleep! We have to be well-rested tomorrow so we can travel!
Veggie looked up from the marshmallow she was busily toasting. "Ano...Kat, where exactly are we going tomorrow?"
"Yes," said Kat curtly. Then she curled up with her head on Ranma's shoulder and promptly went to sleep.
After a short pause, during which everyone was thouroughly confused, Veggie began yelping and beating her now-flaming marshmallow about on the ground. She sighed dejectedly and flung the scorched remains onto a growing pile behind her. As she speared another of the sugary confections, Veggie looked up to the sky. Day after tomorrow is the new moon, she reminded herself. It seemed important to her for some reason, always nagging at the back of her mind. She glanced furtively up at Inuyasha, on his constant nighttime vigil, and realized how alone he looked sitting in that tree.
* * * The Next Morning, BRIGHT AND EARLY XD! * * *
Kat blindly led her quickly growing party on a trek through the woods. Apart from a disappearing cat and a giant, smoking caterpillar (Duo was, apparently, allergic to smoke, and everyone -- mostly Kyra -- had quite a time kicking him about the head trying to wake him up), things seemed to go quite well. After a time, they could see the candycane spires of what appeared to be a nearby castle.

As they exited the forest, Kat and her party could hear the far-off sounds of strange music.

"What the hell is that noise?" Angel growled, rubbing her eyes. "Where's my shotgun?"

Duo stared at her. "Angel, you don't have a shotgun."

Angel blinked. "Oh...yeah."

Ranma tilted his head to the side, frowning. "I believe that's music."

"No shit, Sherlock," Kat grumbled. "Onward!" she yelled.

Ranma stared at her. "Kat, my name isn't Sherlock..."

Kat sighed. "I'm surrounded by idiots," she muttered, making her way to the castle gates, which were now in sight.

"We're painting the roses white, we're painting the whites, not pink, not green, not aquamarine..." The off-key music came from beyond the iron gates.

Inuyasha frowned, staring at the men dressed as playing cards that were painting some flowers white. "Are they dressed as...playing cards?"

"And who's that in the clown pants?" Veggie asked, confused.

Fuu gazed at the man-dressed-as-playing-card-in-clown-pants. "He's so...beautiful...and his hair...it looks so...lethal..."

"Man," Heero sighed, "I wish I could look that good in clown pants..."

"I could look that good in clown pants!" Wufei grinned, nudging Heero.

Approaching the insane clown posse (hah), Inuyasha tapped the shoulder of the one who appeared to be the leader. "Excuse me."

"Yes?" he asked, turning to face Inuyasha and nearly gouging out his eye (his hair truly WAS lethal) as he did so.

Inuyasha moved back a pace to protect himself from the deadly spikes of the young man's hair. "What the hell are you doing? Why didn't you just buy white roses?"

"You see," that's the thing. "I, Trowa Barton, am a Jack. You can see by the card," he explained, gesturing to his outfit. "I meant to order white roses, but I accidentally got red."

"Trowa Barton," Fuu murmured, her eyes glazing over. "What a simply lovely name..."

And we're adding more. Be impatient no longer. @_x *Angel/Veggie throw their hands in the air* WE HAVE SAVED THE DAY!


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