Through times of sorrow
I made my way to the Enterence hall holding my tartan suitcase in one hand and leaning heavily on the walking stick in my other hand. Home at last. Words could not express how grateful I was to be here again. But of course my happiness was overshadowed by the knowledge that one of my precious lions had died. Sirius� I wondered how Harry was taking it.
Voices reached my ear.
�Ah. I see there are no longer any points left in the Gryffindor hour-glass to take away. In that case, Potter, we will simply have to-�
That would be Severus, bullying Harry again. A part of me understand his deep grudge. After all, his father and his friends had been horrible to him and I had often been ashamed of them, giving them severe detentions. But the other part of me wished he let go. And that he stopped blaming Harry for what happened. As dreadful as it was, it was not the boy�s fault either.
�Simply add some more�, I suggested, walking closer to them.
�Professor McGonagall!� Severus said, striding forwards. �Out of St. Mungo�s, I see�.
�Yes, Professor Snape�, I answered, shrugging of my travelling cloak. �I�m quite as good as new. You two- Crabbe- Goyle-�. I beckoned them forwards, they came, shuffling their large feet and looking awkward.
�Here�, I said, trusting my carpetbag into Crabbe�s chest and my cloak into Goyle�s. �Take these up to my office for me�. They stumbled away and I turned around. Three minutes later I had awarded two hundred and fifty points to Gryffindor and fifty points to Ravenclaw. I told Harry and Draco to go outside and both of them obeyed. Severus was looking murderous at me.
�Let it go, Severus�, I told him softly, placing my hand on his arm for a moment, while I walked passed him. �Albus is in his Office, I presume?�
He nodded briskly and I walked to the staircase.
I waited impatiently as the stony staircase brought me up to his Office. I was very anxious to see him. After everything that had happened, I wanted to see him. And I was worried about him. He always seemed so strong, so cheerful, despite everything, but I knew how much the war took from him. I needed to see him. It had been so long. I had not seen him after that horrible day Cornelius and Dolores had removed him from Hogwarts.
Finally I reached the end. I knocked on the door and waited for his reply. When he called out I opened the door and walked in. He sat in an armchair near the fire, staring in the flames. When he saw me however, he jumped to his feet and walked towards me.
�Minerva!� he said, clearly relieved. �You�re back�.
We embraced each other tightly. My walking stick lay forgotten on the floor. I was so happy to be here again. For a few moments I absorbed the feel of his arms around me, my face buried in his shoulder. He smelled of herbal tea and Sherbet lemon and I smiled against the material of his robes. This was Albus Dumbledore, there was no doubt about it.
Eventually we both pulled back. �I am glad you�re home�, he told me, smiling softly. I gazed into his face and felt my heart sank. His eyes were not twinkling. That was a bad sign. �Are you alright?� I asked gently.
The smile faded from his face and his shoulders dropped. �I�ve told him, Minerva�, he said. �I�ve told Harry everything�. I had expected this. When I was in St. Mungo�s and I heard from Remus what happened at the Ministry I figured Albus would have to tell him about the prophecy.
�How did he take it?� I asked.
He gestured to the armchairs near the fire and the both of us sat down. �I told him right after Sirius had died�, Albus began in a quiet voice. �He was furious, Minerva. I don�t think he will ever trust me again�.
I placed my hand on his. �This is not your fault, Albus�, I said urgently. �You are not responsible for Sirius� death�.
He shook his head sadly. �I should not have ignored him all those months. I should have talked to him, explained it all. I should have told him about the prophecy sooner. I should have taught him occlumency myself, I should have�
�Stop right there, Albus�, I interrupted him in a voice that I usually only reserved for students. �Don�t do this to yourself�, I continued in a softer tone. �You did what you thought was best. You had good reason for the choices you have made�.
�I was wrong Minerva�, he answered. �I made those decisions, not because I thought they were right, but because that was the way I wanted it. I wanted to spare Harry this pain, but in the end I have only added to his burden�.
�Albus�, I began gently, �do you really think Harry would have taken this easier if you had told him last year, or the year before?�
�No, but at least he had the support of his godfather then�, he replied.
�I know�, I admitted. �And it must be terrible for Harry to have lost him and I know how much you wanted to spare him that, but he�s not alone. Even with Sirius gone, he�s not alone. Arthur and Molly and Remus and Hagrid, you, me, the rest of the Weasley family�, I could go on for an hour Albus, they are all there for him�.
�I just hope he will trust me again�, Albus still did not look convinced and I realised with a shock that it would take some time for him to get over this.
Days past and the world around us awoke. Finally, finally the Ministry acknowledged the fact that He Who Must Not Be Named had returned. Albus was reinstated as Headmaster of Hogwarts, as member of the International Confederation of Wizards and as Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. The atmosphere under the students was tense and I could not blame them. They had a terrible year behind them and who knew what the future would bring to them.
I watched Albus pull back further into himself. I tried to talk to him on many occasions, but I just couldn�t get through him. He blamed himself for what happened, blamed himself for Sirius dead and the pain Harry was going through.
When I visit Grimmauld Place during the weekend, to check on Remus I talked to Phineas and learned what Harry had said to him. And what he had told Harry. It nearly broke my heart. I had always known that Albus cared deeply for Harry. I suppose he saw him as the grandson he had never had. That is why I could not blame him for the choices he had made.
Perhaps he should have told Harry earlier, perhaps he should not have ignored Harry all year. But I knew why he had done it. I knew how much he cared for his happiness and let�s face it, the boy had known so little in his past. I knew how much it had hurt him to step back from Harry. I knew that there had been so many occasions where he had wanted to tell Harry about the prophecy, about why You-know-who was after him. But I also knew that he had been too scared that He Who Should Not Be Named would attack him through Harry. Not because of himself, but because of what it would do to Harry.
And I was convinced that in time, Harry would understand that too. When Albus had told him about the prophecy, his godfather had just died. He was angry and he blamed himself for it. Another thing I heard from Phineas. I suspected all that anger and sadness had come out and Albus was just the nearest person to take it all out on.
One day before the end of year feast, Dolores Umbridge left the school. I can say in all honesty that I have never been so glad to see someone leave. And this includes Lockhart. Peeves borrowed my walking stick to �beat her out� as he put it. I should have said something about it. I really should have. But I was just too relieved. This woman had caused so many problems and agony through this year. I sincerely hoped I would never see her again.
Albus too was pleased she was gone. Despite his gentleman-like manner, I knew how much he disliked her. I hoped Harry would come to the Leaving feast. Perhaps if Albus could see him, he would feel better.
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It�s just a start. I will definitely continue this. What do you think? Let me know!