whosGJ

Greg was born on a cold August winter, deep in the rainforests of Alaska. He was orphaned by his parents, and raised by wild wombats. In 1990 he found his way out of the jungle and traveled the world as a profesional armidillo racer. Sadly in October of 1992 "chubbs" his yellow razor-back armidillo died from a condition known as Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis, or HCE. (what is HCE?)
From then on Greg searched the seven seas for the cure to HCE, so that nobody ever again would have to go through what Chubbs had to. During his journeys around the world Greg learned lots of things. Sadly the things he learned were in no way useful. (check the Greg's useless information that one day may save your life section)
In November of 1992 Greg's search for the cure of HCE ended. Not because he found the cure, but simply because he bought a new armadillo and quickly forgot about chubbs.
After retiring from armidillo racing Greg became a comentator on the XFL. At the same time Greg began gaining more and more fans. Soon though, Vince McMahon (creator of the XFL [and the WWF for that matter]) realized that Greg was an even worse anouncer then that annoying guy, Dennis Miller. And so Greg was fired. Sadly to Vince's later realization, the only people who actually watched the XFL were Greg's fans, and so the show's ratings soon dropped from 3 people to 0. The show was taken off the air.

One day, a few weeks later, Greg realized that he had been wasting away his life, and that he had never really accomplished anything useful. And so, Greg decided to accmplish his secret life long ambition... To unicycle across Canada while juggling 13 flaming chainsaws!!!! (Note: along his way Greg saw Forrest Gump, who was jogging across the US for the 2nd time, and ran him over.)
Greg gained world fame as the world's best flaming chainsaw juggler, and soon hit the road on tour, teaching young ethiopians how to do juggle, without cutting off their hands. However, Greg turned out to be a horrible teacher, and was taken to court for the death of 7 ethiopians, and a migdet. He was convicted, and is now appealing. And the story goes on...