Created: Sept 19th, Modified Sept 25th
Before I get to my main point, I would like to mention how TV works. You pay a (relatively) low price of 20 - 50 dollars a month to "enjoy" a month of television programming. Because of this farily reasonable cost, it makes sense that we are bombarded with advertising. Hey, I'm getting a fine deal, because I have never bought anything because of a commercial and anyone who does is a moron. Oooh, Bud Light, those commercials are so funny, now all they have to do is make a half-decent beer and they'll be set!
There's even some commercials baked right in, like the blatant bottles of Aquafina water that somehow appeared in the Survivor's hands despite the fact that they were supposed to be stranded with nothing! I guess they figured bottled water was a survival neccisity?
Since movies are comparitively expensive, I demand no advertising. So, a couple years ago, I wasn't a happy man when I saw a car commercial precceding the Feature Presentation. Now I go and see Anger Management. The movie routinely cut away from the action to show a large U.S Army billboard. It wasn't even subtle! It's not like two guys are talking and this ad was in the background. The movie literally cut away from the "action" to present you with a giant billboard, and if you don't believe me.... well don't watch the movie just to check it out, just assume I'm right and boycott Anger Managment. You sure wouldn't be missing out on anything funny. Well, intentionally funny, anyway.
But my real gripe with Anger Management was that it was the first one I saw in full on a DVD player. God. I was looking at the selling prices for these gems. In many cases they are a full 50% more than their VHS counterparts. Sound familiar? Music CDs? Yup, you're getting gipped again. But wait a second, maybe you're getting 50% more, yeah, lets cling to that shred of false hope. Here are some of the Special Quadruple Platinum Collector's Edition features on Anger Management:
Deleted Scenes: See, when people make movies, they notice that some parts are total trash so they decide to burn them. That was back in the 20th century. That silly century. Now we take that trash and make it a reason to buy the movie. As you might expect, the deleted scenes were the most boring in the film. That's why they were deleted.
Movie Trailers: Ten years ago, we purchased VHS tapes, started them up, saw some previews, decided they were shit and fast forwarded past them, And now they are a compelling reason to make the switch to DVD. Great I say, maybe one day they'll take all that U.S Army advertising out of the movie and make that into a special feature too.
Bloopers: Shown at the end of the movie anyway. Next.
Quizzes: If I wanted to take a quiz, I'd work on my University studies, not waste my time with a phony Hollywood quiz! The answers aren't even interesting. After taking enough of these, my IQ might be low enough to think that DVDs are a good deal.
Digital Dolby 5.1 THX Ultra Platinum Deluxe and High Resolution Diamond Progressive Scan Home Theatre System Enhancement: Human ears eyes can't tell the difference between this and an ordinary TV with stereo speakers, but highly sensitive instruments will tell you that you're an idiot for not buying into this deal!
Think I missed something? Well, just tell me ( [email protected] ), so I can prove you wrong.
