As I said a few short weeks ago, we will see all kinds of stories on the broomlady as the campaigns heat up. It will be a long election season as the election is still about 18 months away. I am sure I will be regurgitating on a daily basis. The first story is typical of what to expect. I think I need a garbage can beside me while I heave.
Let's all give thanks to the Lord
Clinton: Faith got me past
marital woes; By
NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer; Jun
5, 2007
Like I said, I am gonna need an extra large sized garbage can for this one.
In a rare public discussion of her husband's
infidelity, Democratic presidential candidate
Hillary Rodham Clinton said Monday that she
probably could not have gotten through her
marital troubles without relying on her faith in
God.
Oh!! Puhleezzzze!! Spare me.
Clinton stood by her actions in the
aftermath
of former President Clinton's admission hat he
had an affair, including presumably her
decision to stay in the marriage.
May I interject a question here? Where
would she go and who the hell else would
want to be with her?
"I'm not sure I would have
gotten through it
without my faith," she said in response to a
question about how she dealt with the
infidelity.
(snickering) Yeah, right. She got through it along with a few ashtrays and a lamp or 2. Even Billie-bob has learned to duck a fast ball.
I am not quite through with that article yet
This entire AP screed makes me want to toss it further than I am right now, if that is even possible.
Edwards revealed that he prays - and sins
-
every day. The crowd gasped loudly when
moderator Soledad O'Brien asked Edwards to
name the biggest sin he ever committed, and
he won their applause when he said he would
have a hard time naming one thing.
Gosh, this is actually a tough question. I think from a purely layman's point of view here that his biggest sin just might be that his hair is all mussed up after getting out of the shower.
Edwards, wearing a purple tie to match
Sojourners' signature color, promoted himself
as the candidate most committed to the
group's mission of fighting poverty. He said
he doesn't feel his belief in evolution is
inconsistent with his belief in Christ and he
doesn't personally feel gays should be
married, although as president he wouldn't
impose his belief system on the rest of the
country.
Let's see now, does vanity or hyposcrisy fall into the sin category? Naa, probably not, he's a democrat.
"It was the Lord that got me through that,"
Edwards said, along with both of his wife's
cancer diagnoses.
Right, the Lord and a large boost in the poll numbers seemed to work wonders (puke, hurl).
And yet still not finished...
Now, another strong voice heard from.
Obama's appearance focused more on
policy
than the personal. Asked whether he agreed
with President Bush's portrayal of the current
global struggles in terms of good verses evil,
Obama said there is a risk in viewing the world
in such terms.
"Praise da Lawd, do I heah an amen on that? Do I heah sum praizin goin' on heah? Let's hear it for Jeee-zus."
He said he believes that the terrorist
attacks
on Sept. 11, 2001, were the result of evil. But
he said that the United States' treatment of
prisoners at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay
is unjust.
"Mnnn-huuh. Yea-ah. Let's go on down to da riva and cast our troubles to da Lawd!"
"The danger of using good verses evil in
the
context of war is that it may lead us to be not
as critical as we should about our own
actions," Obama said to applause.
"Amen brotha, Amen!! Let's heah it for da Laaawwwdd. Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy!"
Anyone notice anything strange here? Does brother Obama have a problem understanding the difference between good and evil? (shaking head) However, he does understand the difference in voters, and he "sho wud like to git me some of dem to vote fo me".
This story is not for children
Since I spent most of my commentary on the democrats and God, I thought I would give equal time to man.
Docs: Many Men Have
"Small-Penis
Syndrome"; CBSNews.com; June 1,
2007
Equal time is not to be construed with equal size.
Eighty-five percent of women are pleased
with their partner's penis proportions - yet
many normal men suffer "small-penis
syndrome," urologists report.
All right now all you married men reading this, are you in that 85 percentile group? Don't lie to me now.
Small-penis syndrome is the anxiety of
thinking one's penis is too small - even
though it isn't. It's a totally different condition
from having a truly tiny tinkler, a condition
known by the cold, clinical name of
micropenis.
We had a different and non-clinical name for it when I was in high school (snicker snicker).
"It is very common for men to worry about
the size of their penis," Wylie says in a news
release. "It is important that these concerns
aren't dismissed as this can heighten
concerns and anxieties."
It was every kid's dream in high school to have the nickname of 'Snake'.
There is slight evidence that some of them,
such as the Phallosan extender system and
the Penistretcher device, may result in slightly
lengthening the stretched length of a flaccid
penis. But Wylie and Eardley note that there is
far too little peer-reviewed research to know
whether these devices - or others like them
- offer any real benefit.
Peer-reviewed? Only if your nickname is 'Snake'.
Wylie and Eardley recommend that
urologists
take men's concerns seriously. If education
and counseling doesn't do the trick, they
advise psychotherapy for men whose
obsession over penis size is interfering with
their lives.
What really can I say about this story? Is this really a newsworthy story for space at CBS? For all you less endowed guys out there, yes. However, I will see you all next week. Until then, keep your powder dry.
Best regards,
Snake
Grant's Blog is an original
commentary by Grant Freerks. Copyright (c)2007
Grant Freerks.
