FAQs

Q: What is a gay person?
A: A gay person is a person who is either physically or emotionally attracted to people of the same sex as them. Gay people are also people who would prefer to have sex with the same sex as them. (This, theoretically, comes under the heading of physical attraction, however you can be physically attracted to someone without having sex with them!)

Q: How do I know if I am gay?
A: This is a tough question to answer, because people's definitions of "physical attraction" and "emotional attraction" will be different.

Often, people say they "just knew" they were gay. This is perfectly OK. Other people find out other ways, for example, they may feel more comfortable being hugged by someone of the same sex as them.

The only real answer that there is is that only you will know. Only you can answer this question. But here's a little hint: if you masturbate and think about people the same sex as you, you may be gay. If you find people of the same sex as you more attractive, then you may be gay. If you find that this describes you, then chances are you might me gay.

Q: Is a gay peron "normal"?
A: Of course! A gay person is just as normal as a black person. A gay person is just as normal as a short person.

Some people are tall, some people are short, some people are fat, some people are skinny, etc. But does this make that person "abnormal"? No, of course not. And a gay person is just as "normal" as any of these people I have just described!

Q: Is it easy being gay?
A: I'm not going to lie to you here. The truth of the matter is that it is not always easy being gay. Sometimes, you feel on top of the world, other days you think "why is this happening to me?" Sometimes, you may want to scream out "Hey, I'm gay and I'm proud!" from the rooftops at the top of your lungs. At other times, you may feel like you want to die.

Remember that you are not alone. There are many other gay people out there who will be going through the same things you are. Don't give in!

Q: When should I "come out" to my friends?
A: Purely and simply, when you're ready and when you're comfortable telling them. Personally, I try to tell friends when there are no other people around, and when I feel comfortable that I will not be "rejected" by them. I suggest that you try and do the same, because it has worked for me in around 90% of cases.

Q: When should I "come out" to my parents?
A: Although this is a similar question to the previous one, it has a completely different answer.

The answer really depends on how well you know your parents, and what type of parents you've got. If you've got aggressive or violent parents, telling them would probably not be a good idea until you've moved out. If you've got loving, caring parents, tell them when you feel comfortable. However, don't tell them when they're stressed. It is also not a good idea to tell them over Christmas dinner, either!

My only other suggestion is make sure that you have a reasonable amount of money and a good place to stay (your best friend would be a good place to try) before telling them, just in case something does go wrong. And remember, you don't have to tell them.

Q: Do I have to worry about HIV/AIDS?
A: HIV/AIDS is often classed as a "gay disease", a disease which only affects gay people. However, HIV affects everybody, not just gay people.

The only way to slow the spread of HIV/AIDS is through understanding, education and for people to actually use condoms, discuss safe sex and stop using IV drugs.

Q: How do I find other gay people my age?
A: This is a tough one, and I must say, I wish I knew the full answer myself!

If you are over 19 and you feel up to it, you can try a local gay night club. However, be careful! In a lot of cases, the people who hang around there are only interested in having sex, so watch that you don't get tricked into something you don't want to do!

You can try the personal ads in your local paper. These often cost a bit of money, and don't always work, but you can get a taste of what's out there. Internet sites can be good too, but be careful, again some people are interested in being your friend.

At your school, there may be a safe person to talk to, look for rainbow stickers or posters that advertise they are gay friendly. This person would be excellent to go to, not just to help you find someone, but for confidential advice.

If you have a gay/straight alliance (GSA), you could go there for support. A GSA is made up of straight and gay students who are gay positive/friendly. You might also have a gay support group in your area, check your phone book, you can call your AIDS Service Organization, they might also be able to help.

The other main option is to ask your friends, particularly any gay friends you have. In most, but not all cases, they will know other gay people in your area that may be interested in meeting you. Good luck!

Q: What is Homophobia?
A: Homophobia is considered to be a "disease" by some people. Homophobia is a word used to describe people who are scared or don't like people who are gay. They often make remarks such as "so-and-so's a disgusting faggot". They often get involved in teasing people who they suspect of being gay, in name-calling ("dyke", "faggot" etc.), and they sometimes beat up gay people ("gay-bash").

Although the fight against homophobia has come along way in the last 20-odd years, it is still a concern. I don't want to scare you, but there are still people out there who like to hurt gay people because of their sexuality. The best thing to do in most cases is to ignore them and keep on walking.