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From: mhixenbaugh@mail.com Subject: I have a question Sax,(that's a funny name) Say that a certain person had been fictionly attacked and killed by a Vampire in a story. If ,the two real life people depicted in the story, were to meet in real life, would the "would-be" Vampire react in a simular way as shown in the story? -frigtend for life- Hixenbaugh
Hixenbaugh(And you thought MY name was funny) Ah yes, the ol' Vampire killing Hixenbaugh story, what a classic! I remember my sire telling me coffin-time stories such as those when I was first turned. Boy did I love those, escpecially the Dracula storys, those were always the best you know? And honestly to answer your question it would depend on what the Vampire would be getting the blood for, if he/she was feeding then and there, then yes he would attack you, if it was for latter storage then maybe not, if you attacked him/her then yes you'd be assulted in a similar fashined as depicted. Now, if you'll excuse me, my stumouch's growling.... One Hungry Vamp, Sax
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From: oprincessdani@hotmail.com Subject: hey i want advice! yo travis i gots this problem see. theres this really stupid freak that i ahte how do i tell him i hate him? cuz he sez he hates me but i know he is depply and madly in love with me!!!! so send tim to afghanistan with my camel and just tell me how i can let him know how i feel? thnx bro peace out this is ur homie bin laden!
Yo mah homie G Bin! How's it hanging in them there caves? Good an dark I hope. But yeah, thats some pretty deep personal information ya got there, especially now that it appears that your not only a major hit with the ladys, as shown by your 7 or so wives, but now your a hit with the guys too! Hot Damn! Consider youself lucky my friend!! But the real question is, why do you ask me of all people this question? You hit us with what? 3 Planes? And almost used a 4th, so how could this be a difficult task to handel? Or is it that he's simply too hot to handel? What finding that a strange painfull sensation overcoming your buttox and you then find your pants down and a used condom in your crack? Tell ya what, I'll make ya a deal buddy bin, you send me your little cracker of a problem via Fed-Ex, and I'll send you Tim an TWO Camels via UPS and we'll call it even. Not Realizing Bin Laden was Bi, Sax
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From:sniffmypoo63@hotmail.com Subject: i need advice on something!!! travis, i am having this problem and i was hoping you could fix it. You see i ordered breadstix from dick and that was over three days ago. i called him saying "dick where are my breadstix?!" he would reply with "im at home" im like "what at home?! im hungry! i want my breadstix now!!!!!" then there was silence and i havent gotten my breadstix in three dayz! i am worrie dhtat they mite get cold. but im really at dick!!! i was hoping you could help me find out what has happened to my breadstix b4 its too late!!!!!!!!!! please! have sme mercy for the breadstix man!!!! signed worried in utah
Worried in Utah, You can order "bread sticks" now? Wow... At first I only thought that females could be purchased, but now males too! Hot Damn! And it might be different for males than females when prostitution, you might need to try going over to his house to get some, *shrug* but I honestly dont know. But go to dicks house, quench your hunger!!!! The Odd One, Sax
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From: cr8z_chic_357@hotmail.com Subject: advice if you dont mind hey goth are you any good at love advice? well hopefully you are. I have a crush on this guy (we'll just call him fred) he is my friends cousin (we'll call her jodie). well jodie told me that he has a g/f. i believe her but she also told me that fred likes me. She said that even tho he has a girl doesnt mean he doesnt like me. He lives about 20min away from me. i know hesnot shy but could it be that he lives 20 min away that he didnt ask me out? i really like him and i would love to have for my date on valentines day so what should i do? well lets hope ya know? signed lonley
Lonley, Mmm, a serious question for a change... Ah well, lets see... Now if this is a 20 minute walk or a 20 minute drive I dont know, but if It's a walk you could always walk down to his house one day and discuss it with him face to face, or if anything, get his phone number and call him up and talk to him about it. But I would try to advise some caution, seeing as he might have a g/f as you mentioned, and if she finds out worst case scenario would be that unpleasent things would happen between you and her, same with him prolley... But yeah, just talk to him about it, Carpe Diem! What if he were to move out of state tomorrow? Then what? Dont let this chance pass by, just talk to him about it. Disliking the month of Febuary, Sax
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From: samthepostagedude@yahoo.com Subject: ask the goth Yo Sax Gnome over mind? Whuh? Get real, man. You're no vampire. You're an insecure gnome who WISHES he was a vampire. I cracked your code! THAT'S what your ridiculous e-mail address means! Gnome! Gnome! Gnome! GGGNNNOOOMMMEEE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!!!!!! -Sam The Clever Postage Dude-
Shouldnt you be out delivering mail or something? And its not pronounce "Gnome", its pronounced "Ge-gnome", like the genetic stuff, first ya say G, then ya san Gnome, lets try it all now, Gnome, Gnome, Gnome. And I'm well aware I'm not a vampire, if I were I would be happy cause I wouldnt need to go to school and worry about half the crap that I do... That and the 6 Billion or so units of food for me to have at =D Depressed, Sax
Set Three!
