It had snowballed quickly. When he first called his manager about the attention his personal problems were getting he just wanted to make a statement in print but they told him of all the cards, phone calls and emails they had received on his behalf and told them he needed to have an interview. Once he was talked into it he knew the list of reporters he would talk to was very short and quickly the chosen one became MTV�s John Norris. Apparently once MTV found out they would get an exclusive interview they jumped on the chance and within three hours John was on a plane headed into Miami International. They spoke briefly that night and now here he was the following morning on the balcony of John�s hotel room. He refused to have it at the hospital and he would not go anywhere near his hotel for fear his mother would take over the interview. John looked up from his clipboard and spoke softly,
�Are you ready?� He took a deep breath and ran his hand over his hair,
�Not really but let�s do it.� He nodded and pointed towards the camera. There was no little introduction or anything he just went into the first question,
�How is your daughter doing?� He didn�t know where they came from but that simple question caused his eyes to fill with tears,
�She�s hanging in there. She�s strong.� He knew they probably wanted more but he didn�t have anything to offer. It was hard to put his thoughts and feelings into an intelligible sound byte. They were confusing in his own head.
�What is wrong with her?� Jesus, he didn�t know all those technical terms,
�She�basically, she has a problem with her heart and she needs surgery.� He was probably going to look ridiculous when this thing aired,
�How did you find out she needed surgery? That she was sick?� He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, he was tired. He didn�t get any sleep the previous night because all he did was think about how much he didn�t want to do this interview and how scared he was of saying the wrong thing,
�She was blue, they took her to the hospital and found out that she needed surgery.� He could tell more was expected and he wanted to give more,
�It was hard hearing she would have to have surgery. She�s so small and so fragile, she�s just a baby and I wish I could take her place. I wish she didn�t have to go through this. I�m here until she gets better.� He looked off into the sky. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the sky was so blue and clear but his life was dark and gloomy.
�You say you�re going to be here. How hard of a decision was it to be here? To leave the tour? When did you leave the tour and how did you tell everyone?� He couldn�t remember everything he had just asked him but he knew it had something to do with leaving the tour,
�I left in Toronto. I left hours before we were supposed to go on stage. I got the call and I left. It was hard and there were misunderstandings because no one knew why I left. I just told them I was leaving and ran out the door. It�s ok now, they know why I left and they would have done the same thing. My band mates and my family are behind me one hundred percent.�
�Speaking of understanding and supporting you one hundred percent there are some of your fans who aren�t that solid. I�m sure you�re aware of the criticism you have received for leaving the tour. How do you respond to that?� He shrugged his shoulders. He wanted to look in the camera, flip them off and tell them to fuck off,
�I would hope that every parent would rush to be by their child�s side, especially when they are battling to live. So, I can�t understand how people could question why I did what I did but I�m sure that was all before they really knew what was going on. You know, now that they know I�m sure it�s a little different now. I know they were disappointed they didn�t get all five of us but it�s about my daughter and that�s the most important thing to me.� He was given a slight smile. A smile of sympathy? A smile of what? He didn�t know if it were pity or support.
�How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a father?� He released an enormous breath that he didn�t realize he was holding,
�It was a shock. I mean, I�ve always wanted to be a father. I love kids but I wondered�I still wonder if I�m good enough. If I�m going to be a good dad.� He laughed a little, more out of nervousness, �She has a great mom. She won�t let me screw her up too much.� There were smiles on both their faces, genuine ones, and his last answer seemed to have lightened the mood just enough,
�What�s your daughter�s name?� He shuffled in his seat, trying to quickly remember why Quinn named her what she did and what it meant,
�MacKenzie Lillian.� The more he said that name over and over in his head the more he liked it.
�Who thought of it?�
�Her mom.� He laughed, �I had nothing to do with it.� John laughed and nodded his head,
�Yeah, dads get left out of that process.� This was agonizing and he looked over at Denny, one of the public relations team members.
�Who does she look like?� He closed his eyes and smiled just slightly as he envisioned his daughter. He could see her so clearly in his tired mine,
�She looks like her mother but it�s strange there is a little of me in her too. Its hard to explain because her color doesn�t make you think she looks like me but if you get past that there�s a little of me in her.�
�How did you and her mother meet?� Her mother? It seemed weird to him that John wasn�t calling Quinn by her name. He was sure everyone knew what her name was, especially after the articles that had been running in the tabloids and the entertainment magazines, which were nothing more than glorified rag mags themselves.
�We just met and we became friends, then obviously more. About two or three years ago.�
�What are some of the things you think about when you think of your daughter? Some of the happier moments.� That was easy. There were two things that stood out in his mind when he wanted to invoke happy thoughts about Mac,
�One is when were in bed. It was really early and she woke me up by smacking me in the face. It was like she saying, �hey get up!�. And I remember one time I walked in the room and she started smiling and her arms and legs were flying around. It was like she recognized me and was happy to see me.� He really did think of the two memories and they were special to him, he�d never forget them. He felt like such a fraud. Sitting here answering questions about MacKenzie like he really knew her. He didn�t deserve to be the one bragging on her, telling the world about her. That should be Quinn�s honor.
They talked for a little more, off the camera, and it ended with Nick allowing them to record three pictures. They were all taken in Quinn�s backyard. One was of Mac on the blanket by herself, the second was of Nick holding her and the final picture was of Nick, Mac and Larry. He didn�t have a copy of any of the pictures that contained Quinn. Even if he did, he wouldn�t allow them to be aired on television. Mac was one thing, even though he was quite hesitant, but Quinn�s face all over the television was another. She would be furious. Fuck, what was he thinking? She was going to be pissed about Mac being on TV. He stood and shook hands with the crew and as he shook his interviewer�s hand he asked,
�So, when is this going to be on?� He didn�t know if he needed time to prepare everyone for the interview or enough time to get out of the city.
Chapter 69
Reunited
Stories