�You made the right decision Quinn.� She sighed and shook her head,
�It doesn�t feel right.� She told the doctor to go ahead and perform the surgery. It was a decision she was forced to make unaided. Nick was nowhere to be found. Even if he needed time to think he still should have talked to her. It really doesn�t matter why he walked out because he shouldn�t have left her side in the first place. He should have been right there with her discussing their daughter and helping her make a decision.
If it weren�t the right thing the doctor wouldn�t have suggested it, everyone wouldn�t be supporting you and you and Nick wouldn�t have said yes. God has you all in his hands.� Kristin continued to talk but she couldn�t hear anything. All she could do was obsess over the idea that Nick somehow has had any hand in the decision-making since he arrived.
�He didn�t have anything to do with it.� She watched as Kristin sat down next to her and shook her head with such compassion,
�Quinn, I don�t know what your religion-� She rolled her eyes. She was so tired of talking about him,
�No Kristin I�m talking about Nick. He walked out when I told him about the surgery. Now please, don�t try to justify that. I haven�t even heard from him since.� She began to murmur about Nick and his irresponsible behavior when Kristin got on her knees in front of her and placed her hands on her legs,
"How long did it take you to get adjusted to being a mom when you found out you were pregnant? Didn't you go through times when all you did was cry and wonder how and tell God you didn't want this to be true, that you didn't want a baby? I have a friend who is a single mom and she said she still hasn�t got used to being a mom and her son is three years old." She didn't want to admit it, she knew where Kristin was going and she was sure this time she would get the point across,
"Yeah, it was hard to handle." What could she say? She wished she could say from the first time she found out that she was happy but that wasn�t the case.
"And how long did it take for you to get over that? Up until you had her?" She didn't want to admit it. She wanted to lie. She wanted Nick to be the only one who was weak and immature,
"Yes, and then some. She was about two months before I totally accepted it." She nodded her head knowingly and it made Quinn just a little angry,
"And Nick is supposed to be ok with it after a couple of months? It took you what, almost a year?" She shrugged, �I�m not saying Nick is doing things appropriately. I�m just saying it�s hard for him and you, as much as you love Mac, should be able to understand that. Talk to him. I mean like, really talk to him. No yelling, no pointing fingers and accusations. Just talk to him and tell him you understand what he�s feeling. Tell him that you went through the same thing and that he can talk to you.� Nick makes her angry but it makes her even more upset to realize she has treated Nick so unfairly. She was no better than him.
His eyes focused on a pair of brown sandals that were directly in front of his own sneaker clad feet. He looked up and his eyes connected with Quinn�s. Instantly his stomach dropped and he wanted to withdraw like a turtle in his shell. He didn�t want to argue with her. He wanted to thank her. He wanted to hug her. She had single-handedly taken care of their daughter up until this point in her short life. If it hadn�t been for her MacKenzie might not be here.
�Can we talk?� She looked at him with eyes full of anxiety and although he was scared he didn�t want to tell her no, he couldn�t,
�Yeah.� It was barely a whisper and he smiled up at her weakly. He followed her out of the waiting room leaving behind her family, his mother, Larry and Josh. He didn�t have to look at them to know the all were curious as to what was going on.
They sat in the chapel and he played with his hands as he waited for her to initiate a conversation that he hoped would be cordial. She turned her entire body and took a deep breath,
�So, how is everything going?� He looked at her and his face must have contained a strange look because she began to stammer,
�I mean, how are you doing?� He ran his hands through his hair and instantly wished he had washed it that morning.
�I�m ok. How is MacKenzie?� He wished he could take that back. It seemed as if he hadn�t been taking interest in his daughter�s well-being, �I saw her this morning. I, have they said anything to you?� She nodded and took a deep breath,
�I decided to let her have the surgery. They are going to do it tomorrow morning. I felt that it was best.� He didn�t know what to say. He knew he should have been involved. He knew he should have made that decision with her and he waited on her to berate him for it.
�What are you feeling right now?� He was feeling like a heel but he figured if he told her that it would open the door for her to rail on him. It would be like acknowledging all the wrong he did and giving her a free ticket to tell him just how wrong he had been,
�I just want her to be ok really. That�s all I think about.� She watched him and she seemed as if she was waiting for him to say more but he just wasn�t ready to open up the flood gates of emotions that he was feeling. �Are you over getting used to being a father?� This is it. He knew they weren�t going to be able to last in the same room long before she gave him the riot act for not being there every minute of MacKenzie�s life. He sighed as shook his head slowly,
�Quinn-� Before he could say anything else she placed her hand on his shoulder,
�No, I just mean. I know what you�re going through. It took me along time to get used to being a mother. I cried so many times, so many nights. I didn�t want to have a baby. I had never believed in abortion but once I found out I was pregnant I really thought about it. I mean, I thought about it a lot. But I didn�t. Thank God. It wasn�t until MacKenzie was like two months old did I completely accept her and accept being a mother.� He couldn�t help it. He didn�t want to but all he could do was stare at her with his mouth wide open. He couldn�t believe she was saying what he was hearing. Quinn, super mom, not only didn�t want to be a mom but she thought of ending MacKenzie�s life? This was just unbelievable to him. And to think after all that she went through she had been giving him a hard time. He wanted to say that to her but he didn�t want to cause a dispute.
�Nick, if you ever want to talk. I�m here for you. I know what it�s like, what you�re going through.� He nodded,
�Thanks.� He pointed at the door, �I want to see MacKenzie again.� Her hand remained on his shoulder,
�I mean, if you ever want to talk Nick. We can, I�m here.� He nodded again but this time he stood up making it obvious that he was finish with the conversation,
�Yeah, yeah. I�ll remember that. I will. I�m going to go see her.�
His mother stood beside him as he looked down on his daughter. Her eyes were closed and her body was monitored by all the wires connected to her tiny body. The door opened and in walked a doctor. His mother walked over and shook his hand,
�Dr. Callan. It�s good to see you again. What more do we know?� He smiled,
�I talked with our charity coordinator and she gave me this packet. It contains everything you need to know. It also has a card and all her contact information. She�s out of the office this week for a conference in Fort Lauderdale but next week she can see you. Just call and set up an appointment.� He could see the smile on her face and he couldn�t be more proud of her.
Chapter 70
Reunited
Stories