She stood on the balcony of James' apartment gazing at the stars wondering if Chris had caught a flight back to Atlanta already. She knew her friend was upset, that she might have even felt betrayed but she just didn't want to hear the fighting anymore and she figured if she admitted certain things to both Chris and Kristin that it would end all the shouting and arguing. Yes, she wanted to be a family with Nick but Chris was right about him, his indecisiveness about what he wanted was the reason the situation was so screwed up. If he made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her and even her daughter it would hurt but at least she would know the truth.
Nick never made things easy for her since the moment she met him. It was always like a lame ass game of chess as far as their relationship was concerned. She was always wondering why he did what he did and what she should do in response. From telling her, after a night of heavy drinking, to never sleep with him to trying to seduce her in Las Vegas she never knew what he wanted. Of course she had to give him some credit, he never told her he loved her or wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. God only knows how messed up her head would be had he gone that far but in a way he had told her he cared. When he had sex with her, when he called her for no reason, when he kissed her the way he did it all made her feel as if it were more than just sex. Sometimes, when they were in bed or watching television it was like they were in this real relationship with meaning.
James was real. James was the one that she had a real relationship with, the only real relationship she had ever had. They were committed and faithful to each other, well she had been until Nick entered her life again. Damn him, she hadn't once thought of cheating on James until he decided she was what he wanted. He only did it because it was a game and he wanted to make sure he could still win against her. She knew that was why, he was just that damn arrogant. The door opened and she didn't have to turn around to know that it was James and he was going to wrap his arms around her. She smiled as he held her tight and kissed her on the neck,
"What are you doing out here?" She lay her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes,
"Nothing." She turned around in his arms and kissed him. His hands moved down and she moaned as he took a firm grip on her butt. She could tell he was gaining more interest and she broke the kiss and hugged him. Having sex wasn't what she wanted to do and she didn't want to lead him on.
"Your mom is the nicest lady." Her mother was very good at being fake. Everyone except her family was unaware of the control freak she really was. James had talked to her mother on the phone several times but they had never met. Only her father had met James before MacKenzie was admitted to the hospital. He attended some engineering conference at the University of Miami and she and James had dinner with him one night.
"How is everything with the insurance?" He had told her numerous times she should contact her insurance company and make sure there would be no surprises as far as the costs of caring for Mackenzie. She was pretty sure she wouldn't have to pay for anything.
"I don't know. I'll call soon. I promise." She had been saying that since he first brought up the idea. Tomorrow she would call the human resources department and ask them to check into it for her. She knew he wasn't happy to hear that but she didn't care. She didn't want to deal with that, it didn't matter and it was no where near the top of her list of things that concerned her.
"I feel like I've barely seen you." He always had long hours and that didn't change because his fiancee's daughter was in the hospital. He worked for an insurance company and his days started at seven thirty and sometimes didn't end until six. Every Saturday and Sunday wasn't a given that he'd be off so now that all her time was spent at the hospital they didn't see each other as much as he would want. He would always talk about their need to spend time together but she really wasn't bothered by their decreased quality time. She was concerned about Mac and everything else, to inculde James, just didn't matter at the time. Those feelings weren't what he wanted to hear so she made something up,
"Yeah, I know. I miss you." He nodded,
"It's gonna get a little worse before it gets better though. I'm going to be doing a lot of overtime. Soon you're going to need help once you aren't getting a paycheck. How many weeks of paid vacation did you have?" She shrugged,
"I don't know. Two weeks I think." He sighed,
"You have to get better about these things Quinn. You have to think ahead and prepare. I don't know how much I'll have to give you but we'll find a way." He didn't know Nick was sending her money, he just found out who the father was. She figured he would mention Nick helping out but then again he was a man and his position would probably feel threatened by Nick coming to her rescue. It was one thing for him to give money to Mac, his daughter, but for Nick to give Quinn money for something other than child support would make James feel quite intimidated.
"Don't worry about it really. I'll be fine." She continued before he could ask any questions,
"Let's watch the movie." She led him back into the apartment by the hand and sat him down as she picked up the remote and pushed play,
"What movie is this again?" She sighed,
"Sense and Sensibility." She knew he wouldn't be into the movie but she didn't care. She wanted to watch it. She was tired of always catering to what he wanted when they watched movies together. She loved action movies so it wasn't like it was some supreme sacrifice but he never even offered to let her pick out something, at least not genuinely. Anytime she suggested anything other than something he wanted to watch he made it very clear with one of those annoying sighs that he would prefer something else. She looked over to see him staring at her with a slight frown on his face,
"What? What's this about?" She wouldn't bother to explain it to him,
"It's a chick flick." She threw the remote on the couch next to him,
"Watch whatever you want. I'm going to take a bath." She walked out of the living room and grabbed his small stereo out of his bedroom before locking herself in the bathroom. Once her eyes were closed all she could do was think about MacKenzie. Her little girl was going to have surgery, she was so young and already her life was filled with complications.
Chapter 68
Reunited
Stories