He was sitting in the waiting room, his mother by his side, trying to figure out how to smooth things over with Quinn. He had never seen her so mean. In fact, he never heard her say a mean thing since the day he met her. She has to truly hate him. He never meant to make her so upset, it wasn't about her, it wasn't even about MacKenzie. It was about him and his fear. At first it was worrying about people finding out that he had a kid and it's a reality now. He wasn't sure how it was being played in the media and in all honesty he was afraid to know. He just wanted this all to be over. He wanted his daughter to be ok, he didn't want to fight with Quinn and her family and friends, he just wanted peace. He snapped back to reality when he felt a hand on his thigh and turned to see his mother looking at him,
"I'm going to talk to someone about the baby. I'll be back." He nodded. What was she going to talk about? Who was she going to talk to? He didn't even know what to do or where to go and he had been here for a long time. He just allowed himself to be led around by Larry and Josh. He looked up when he heard their music blaring from the television. He looked around the room and only he and Larry were present now that his mother left. Everyone else had somehow managed to be gone. Between Quinn and him they had a lot of people with them it was amazing that he was alone in here. He stared at the TV screen as one of the young MTV reporters was on the street and they began to show reactions to not only the fact that he had a child but he kept it a secret. He didn't exactly keep it a secret, he just didn't send out a press release. Actually, he did keep it a secret. He didn't tell his family or his friends and there was no reason for that other than embarrassment.
"I think it's awful. I mean they weren't even dating really. She wasn't his girlfriend and not only do they go off and have unprotected sex but they got pregnant. I feel bad for the kid." How did they know that he and Quinn weren't dating? That she wasn't his girlfriend? Maybe she wasn't his girlfriend technically but he cared about her more than anyone knew, more than they would want to believe. That girl on the TV screen would like to think that he didn't care about Quinn, that she meant nothing to him but she did and if he had met her another time and under different circumstances she would have been his girlfriend, he just wasn't ready.
"He lied to us. He just left the tour and they lied about it. We've been there for them through everything and we would have been there for him through this." He didn't need them to be there for him. There were some things they just didn't need to be a part of when it came to his life.
"They always talk about being honest with the fans. I'm never going to trust anything they ever say again." What the fuck was up with these girls? He didn't owe them anything because they bought CDs, went to concerts and cheered them on. Did he? Hell no, of course not. He grunted and Larry responded,
"Want me to turn it off?" He shook his head as a guy appeared front and center of the screen with a girl on each side. Great, he was going to get ripped from a male point of view,
"I think it's cool actually. I mean, people are always in their business and I think it's kind of cool he pulled one over on everyone. People want to know way too much about famous people. I think it's funny that no one knew." He was in shock, to not only get support but from a guy.
"So you don't feel betrayed?" He laughed,
"I'm not a fan. Even if I were a fan I wouldn't feel that way. Why should I? It's not my kid and I don't have to pay for it or take care of it so why should I feel upset that I didn't know. It's none of my damn business, it's nobody's business." Of course he received more criticism but the majority of the fans wished them well, said congratulations and offered prayers for MacKenzie. That was it, he didn't want to hear anymore after the smartass reporter made her own little comments. He would remember that, he would definitely remember how MTV treated this the next time he was there. He would make sure they knew he remembered. All it would take was one smartass comment on live TV.
He was staring off into space, actually near asleep, when Quinn walked in followed closely by Kevin and AJ,
"Nick, we need to make a decision." He saw the look on Brian and AJ's faces and it scared him. What did they need to make a decision about? Were they going to have to decide to take her off the respirator? He couldn't do that.
"The doctors feel we need to go ahead with the surgery but they say it will be risky." She stood there and looked at him but all he could do was return a blank stare.
"What do you think we should do?" He looked at AJ and Brian for some of kind of answer,
"Nick?! What do you want to do?" She began to cry as he shook his head over and over again,
"I can't do this by myself. You need to help me." He knew she needed him to say something but he didn't know what to say,
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Before he could say anything she was gone and he was left there to sit as Brian, AJ and Larry stared at him. Once again she needed him and he wasn't able to give her what she wanted. Brian was the first to speak up,
"They want to go ahead and have the surgery in two days." It was almost as if this wasn't real, as if it were some bad soap opera. His daughter didn't really need surgery, she was just sleeping. Now it was real, now she was going to have her little chest cut open an ever present reminder of how her life was threatened short before she could even stand on her own two feet.
"She's not ready for that. She's not breathing on her own, they said-" AJ walked over and sat down next to him,
"They want to try it now. It's risky but it's possible. They don't want to wait anymore. They said her heart is working harder now and she's never going to breathe on her own now until her heart is fixed." This wasn't real, this wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to have surgery until she could breathe on her own and now she couldn't breathe on her own until she had the surgery. He looked up at Brian,
"Have you seen her?" AJ placed his hand on his shoulder,
"Yeah, we've seen her. She looks like you." He laughed a little,
"You know, I've thought that for a long time but I didn't want to say anything. I thought everyone would think I'm stupid." AJ shook his head,
"Nope, the shape of the eyes, the mouth. That's you all the way man." Brian caught Nick's attention with his loud sigh,
"What are you going to do about the baby? Quinn needs you to be in on the decision I'm sure." He stood up,
"There isn't a choice is there? The way you made it seem."
Chapter 64a