The rest of our time at the club was quiet for me, I couldn't get back into the party mood no matter how hard I or the others tried. During the ride back Nick, who wasn't drunk but was still hyper, was very talkative and animated and the fact that I wasn't upbeat made him even more so. Going back to Nick's room after the club was a mistake, going back to anyone's room instead of going back to my own alone was a mistake. We flop down on the couch and I take off my boots,
"Don't stop there." I look up at him to see him waving a dollar and give him what I'm sure was a pathetic attempt at a smile,
"What's wrong?" I shake my head but I can't even pretend as if I'm ok. He nods and strips down to his T-shirt and boxers. I watch him and I can't help but think of the girls' comments and wonder. Wonder if he wasn't comfortable with me in public, if there was truth to what they were saying. I've known from experience that people say and act one way but think totally the opposite a lot of times,
"Hey, what's wrong?" I shake my head and jump when I see Nick sitting in front of me. I didn't even see him walk over to me and sit down.
"Don't tell me nothing is wrong this time. What's wrong?" I sigh, maybe telling him will give me a little insight on how he feels about the situation. I look down at my hands and take a deep breath,
"At the club I was in the restroom and these girls came in and they didn't see me when they started saying some stuff." I look up briefly and see him looking at me nodding,
"What did they say?" Another deep breath, how do I say this,
"They saw us in the club together and made comments about you being with me, and you wanting to be black because everyone in the group was black and just a bunch of crap, basically, they thought you and I were together and they didn't like it." I look over to see his lips puckered tightly as if he was thinking,
"I'm sorry." I shrug,
"It's not your fault." He shakes his head and sighs deeply,
"Don't listen to that shit ok?" I shrug,
"That I'm good enough to be in your bed at night but that's it and your mom would never go for it." He shakes his head,
"Bitches...look, they don't know anything about me or my family. After the way I grew up with nothing I would never look down on anyone for being different than me, especially growing up with people looking down on me. My mom doesn't have a problem with you...or anyone else in my family." I look up at him,
"If your mom or family DID have a problem with me...my color...would you tell me?" We look in each other's eyes and he sighs,
"Maybe not I guess...but still...they DON'T think like that." I nod and I see his hand cover mine. Our fingers manuever and intertwine,
"Wow." I look up at him,
"What?" He shrugs and smiles lightly,
"I...the colors, I dunno, it's hard to explain." I smile and shake my head,
"Yeah, it's almost kind of shocking at first. Wait until sex." Our eyes lock and I begin to stammer,
"I...I mean not with me...with someone else. Not that you would ever sleep with, not that you have anything against it..." He nods and finally lets me off the hook,
"I know what you mean." I nod and let his words be the last,
"You ever slept with a white guy?" I laugh lightly and nod my head,
"Yeah." It was almost like something from a movie as he leans in slowly.
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Chapter 63a