| Chapter 5 My mouth became dry and I licked my lips as he walked over and made eye contact with me. Damn, he probably thought I was trying to be seductive as I looked down, �Nick, this is Quinn. Quinn this is Nick.� I could see his confusion as he was trying to think if my name should mean anything to him, �Remember I was telling you guys about my trip to the mall and I spilled my drink?� His eyes darted from side to side as he looked up at the ceiling trying to remember. I couldn�t help but smile; he looked like a little kid trying to remember what his mother told him, �Oh, ok, yeah�hi.� His half smile wasn�t exactly inviting and it was apparent it wasn�t quite genuine, �Hi.� Wow, he was about as much of a conversationalist as I am. We were saved as one of the many people milling around came over, �Hey guys, before I fax this list over to the club why don�t you check it one more time to make sure you haven�t left anyone out.� Kevin took the paper and Nick walked over and stood behind him reading over his shoulder, �Who are most of these people?� Kevin read on, �Most are from the label, management and the companies that are paying for the tour.� Nick nodded and rolled his eyes, �Ah yeah, our �friends�.� Kevin looked annoyed by Nick�s comment as he handed the paper back over, �Thanks Mike, that looks about right�Quinn, would you like to go?� The floor lost my attention to Kevin, �What?� He smiled, �There�s an after party tonight. Would you like to go? There will be a lot of people.� Nick walked off and sat next to a female sitting across the room, �Ah, I don�t know. Do I need to change clothes? What time?� Kevin rolled his eyes and smiled, �I�m sorry, you don�t have to work or anything tomorrow morning do you?� I shook my head as I turned my head back towards him and away from Nick, �Actually no I don�t have to work.� He nodded, �Mike will tell you all the details, I have to go�enjoy the show.� I smiled and watched as he started talking to a couple of men in the corner. What the hell is going on? I don�t know. I listened as Mike told me all I needed to know about the after party then excused myself to go watch the concert. As I walked out I couldn�t help but glance at Nick as I walked by, my weak smile went unreturned and I felt like crap as he went back to talking to his friends, or coworkers or whoever the hell they were. I stood and watched them with my mouth open. I was in complete awe as I watched them sing, dance and interact with each other and the fans. The irrational part of me needed two hands to count the number of times they looked directly at me. They probably couldn�t see me and they probably weren�t looking at any one person in particular just at the crowd. It was nice to think though, that I was special for that moment. Just when it seemed the crowd couldn�t get any louder one of them would do something and they place would go wild. My ears were ringing as I left the arena and walked to my car. My car, where the hell is it? I knew I should have written it down on a piece of paper or something. Ten minutes later I was in my car with my eyes closed reliving every moment. I drove to the club, after getting lost twice, and decided to use the valet. This was my one night of the year that I was going to be amongst the living, I might as well live it up. I walked around and all I saw was beautiful people, beautiful women, beautiful men, it was kind of disgusting. It was a private party for the most part the only people that weren�t with the guys or their people were contest winners from the fan club and the radio station. As I walked around I was hoping that I would run into Kevin, Brian, AJ or even Howie; someone that would sort of put my mind at ease about being here. Although I didn�t expect much from them, they wouldn�t even remember me. I bumped into someone and turned to apologize but they were gone. That�s the club life I guess, yet another reason I don�t like to go out. I settled in a table near the bar and sipped on my Sprite as I looked around the room. This is what I was missing? My blockbuster nights weren�t looking so bad now. I looked up and saw some of the boys were there with I guess their entourage. They must have arrived through a backdoor or something because I�ve been keeping this swinging section near the front going. I watched as Nick and a couple of guys with him walked over and went to the bathroom. He looked at me briefly but I don�t think it registered he had seen me before. People watching in a club is quite interesting, everyone is doing the same things with the same people. What is it about one guy that makes his lines of bull work when the same girl shot down the guy before him? I stood up and went to the bar to order another strong Sprite and felt someone standing next to me. Great, I�m about to get some cheesy line, �You don�t look like you�re having fun.� I turned and I stared into Nick�s blue eyes, having no clue what to say. His eyes stretched as he waited for my response but I couldn�t give one and he turned and ordered his drink. I felt like a complete idiot. Why couldn�t I say anything? He was a normal guy. No, he wasn�t. I didn't dream about normal guys. I didn�t wonder what was really going through a normal guy�s head. I didn�t look at a normal and want to wrap my arms around them and hold them tight because I thought he was hurting. I sighed as I watched a female in a short skirt and tight top walk in between us and start a conversation with him. He smiled and welcomed the attention and I could see his eyes travel to her fake breasts. Doesn�t matter if they are real or not as long as they are there. Figures, he would always go for the obvious. He grabbed his drink and leaned down and talked to her as they made their way back to his table. Wonderful, I feel like a complete loser, just needed someone to knock me on my ass in front of everyone and my night will be complete. Home Mixed Feelings Chapter 6 |