I'm a snob? What kind of bull is that? I haven't been called that since high school. Maybe I have standards for myself and those around me but I never think I'm above someone else,
"What? No I'm not." He nods,
"Yes you are. Just because she doesn't have a big time job like you or your friends or because she doesn't watch the news all day and keep up with all the stuff you think you're better than her." I shake my head,
"That is not true." He shrugs and sits on the couch,
"What does Elliott and that girl you hang out with do?"
"Elliott is a manager at a store and Christina is an interior designer." He nods,
"What kind of store?" I sigh,
"Armani." He smiles snidely,
"When I go back to Tampa people come up to me and tell me I went to school with their kids, or I went to school with them but before...back then they wouldn't hang out with me or my family. They were the girls who wouldn't talk to me, the boys who beat me up, the parents who told their kids we were white trash. Now they would give anything to be seen with me." I shake my head and head for the door,
"Nick, I'm sorry ok? Just forget it-" He snatches my arm and turns me around to face him,
"What does your family do?" I yank my arm back and cross my arms over my chest. As I look around the room I can't believe I'm in the middle of an arguement with him,
"They work for NASA." He snorts and rolls his eyes,
"What are they? Astronauts?" I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. All because of some stupid joke about Tori,
"No, my dad is an engineer...my mom is a technical writer. She writes the manuals and books and stuff." He nods his head and paces back and forth,
"What do you do?"
"Look Nick, I'm sor-" He raises his hands,
"What do you do?" There is no getting out of this so I might as well answer his questions and get this over with,
"I'm a computer programmer." He looks over at me with his arms out and asks the question that all professionals hate to be asked,
"How much do you make?" Like I said, I'm anxious for this to be over so I don't bother to hesitate,
"Seventy five thousand."
"How old are you?"
"Twenty-four." He laughs but it isn't one of joy and he shakes his head,
"Twenty-four...seventy-five thousand...my parents combined never made that much money and they were a hell of a lot older than twenty-four." God, I feel like a snob. I guess I am, I haven't felt this bad about myself since college,
"Nick, I didn't mean it, it was just a joke." He looks over at me,
"Yes you did, just like all the other times, the comments, the looks, the way...even the way you say her name." I look down and I don't know what to say, there is nothing to say. I feel like crap,
"I'm gonna go." He grabs my arm,
"You don't have to, look it's cool ok? I was already thinking about some stuff and it just all came back to me." He looks down and for a minute I thought he was crying, he looks up and his eyes look so sad as I wrap my arms around him,
"Nick, I'm sorry. I really am. I wasn't trying to be mean to her, I'm sure she is a nice girl." He pulls me to the bed and we lay together watching the movie until we both fell asleep.
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Mixed Feelings
Chapter 40