I had called Chris and sat outside the hotel the next morning waiting for her to pick me up. I tiptoed past him, I didn�t want to wake him up because I knew he was tired and had a show tonight. I have to admit I�m nervous to face him after his advice. Would I see him differently knowing what he had said to me? I can�t get his words out of my head. They were the first thing I thought of this morning. I know the only reason he said them was because he was drunk but I�m sure he meant them. I never thought I had a chance to ever sleep with him anyway. Now the thought is in my head. Did he want to sleep with me? Would he try to sleep with me? Then, why did he warn me and tell me not to do it? I�m pretty sure he would probably never look at me the same if I slept with him so soon but I still can�t believe he would want to sleep with me anyway. At this moment, I am determined that there could be nothing more than a friendship between us. I�m always going to look at him as this attractive guy but that�s it. Its not that I don�t want to be with him and its not that I have this holier than thou or too cool attitude as far as he is concerned I just never want people to look at me and not respect me. Whether it�s at work on any other terms. I smiled as I saw her drive up and jumped in the car,
�Ok, what happened?� I sat back and closed my eyes,
�Just drive and I�ll tell you�and find a Burger King, I�m starving.�
We sat in the booth and I told her about his words before he drifted off to sleep and her expression was pretty much the same as mine last night,
�Close your mouth.� She sat back,
�Are you serious? So, this means he wants to sleep with you.� I shook my head,
�He probably only said it because of the girl he was talking to on the phone right before�I don�t think he meant it to me, he was probably just thinking out loud.� I looked out the window as listened as she went on,
�So what happened this morning?� I sighed and looked down at my sandwich. What was I supposed to say? I punked out, I was scared; I didn't want to face him?
�Nothing, he was still asleep when I left?� She sighed that annoying are you stupid sigh,
�You didn't wake him to say goodbye?� I shook my head and waited for the lecture to continue,
�Please tell me you left a note.� Damn, why didn't I think to at least do that? What was he going to think when he woke up and I was just gone? I gave her a pathetic look and shook my head,
�Quinn.� I threw my hands up,
�What? I couldn�t think ok? It was in the middle of the moment. I couldn�t think straight.� She sighed,
�Well, you have his number and he has yours.� We ate breakfast and talked about everything but Nick but he was the only thing on my mind.
It was 10:30 when we made it back to the hotel and when I walked out of the shower Christina was bouncing on the bed,
�Why are you so hyper?� She laughed,
�We are going to this water park I saw in this brochure.� I sat next to her on the bed,
�Sounds like fun�what time do they open?� She jumped off the bed and went to her suitcase,
�They�re already open and they close at eight tonight. I called the front desk, its only thirty minutes from the hotel. We can leave the park at like 5 and get back here, get ready and still make it for the entire concert.� I nodded; there was no way I could handle sitting around with time on my hands thinking about Nick. We put on her bathing suits underneath our clothes and headed out. We were in the car; I swear Christina doesn�t listen to directions,
�You missed the turn!� She looked over at me,
�Well, maybe if I could get some warning BEFORE I�m past the exit I wouldn�t miss it.� I smiled,
�What are you trying to say?� She laughed and looked for the next exit,
�You suck at directions that�s what.� I laughed as I dug through my bag looking for my ringing cell phone,
�Hello?�
�Uh hey its Nick.� My breath caught in my throat and I glanced over at Chris but she was busy driving,
�Uh hey what�s up? Sleep well?� I looked out the window and held my breath, �Yeah, I did�sorry I wasn�t up when you left, you could have woke me up...what time did you leave?�
�Around nine.� I laughed as I heard him groan,
�Ok, so yeah�that was kind of early�why did you leave?� I knew he had no idea what he said to me and I wasn�t going to mention it,
�Chris and I are headed to Carowinds, it�s a water park here in town.�
�I wish I could do that�sounds like fun.� I smiled,
�I�m sure you have some fun things to do today.� He groaned,
�Yeah, I have a local TV interview with Brian, then some interviews with local papers and magazines before we head off for some conference�real fun...I�d rather hang out with Brian than a water park full her girls in bikinis any day.� I smiled sadly and wondered what it would be like to not come and go as I please,
�I can�t believe you remember all that.� I couldn�t help but smile as his laughter came through the phone,
�Nah, I�m reading my schedule.� I shook my head and laughed,
�I should have known.� I could hear Brian yelling at him about his earlier comments in the background and all of a sudden he started giggling; giggling, this grown man started giggling. His goodbye was quick in between his fits of laughter and I never did get to respond,
�I gotta go�bye.�
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Mixed Feelings
Chapter 16