I didn�t get to talk to Nick again during my trip to Charlotte and the only time I saw him was when he was on stage. They left the city that night and were headed off to God only knows where. I hugged Christina as they called my plane,
�You be good.� She laughed and pretended to be shocked,
�Aren�t I always?� I rolled my eyes and shoved her lightly on the shoulder,
�No speeding either.� She gave me a fake smile and stood as I walked to the gate, I turned and waved goodbye and blew her a kiss.
I settled back in my seat on the plane and looked out the window at the clouds. No matter how hard a tried I couldn�t stop thinking about him. It was no longer about thinking he was some hot guy it was everything. It seemed so weird that I felt so close to him and we barely talked. There was the one time in his hotel room when I met Eric where we talked extensively but all the times after that was nothing really deep but I like being around him. I put on my Walkman and closed my eyes. There was no way I could listen to up tempo music, it would make me want to dance so I put in my CD of my favorite slow songs, most were love songs and I am pretty much thinking that I am a glutton for punishment as More Than That filled my ears. As unbelievable as it was to me I fell asleep on the plane, I never do that, and struggled to wake up as a flight attendant gently shook me. I smiled up at her and gathered my things as the plane came to a stop. Now I just have to remember where I parked my car in the garage. Great I have an hour to spare this should be fun.
The only way I kept up with Nick was the television, the radio and the internet. I hadn�t talked to him since Charlotte and it had been a few weeks. My life was back to boring as usual and sometimes I was tempted to lie and tell Christina I had talked to him every time she called and asked but why bother. I stopped off at the grocery store and the drug store before grabbing something quick to eat at McDonalds and heading home. I flipped on the TV and settled on the couch when I saw a picture of Nick on the TV. I leaned in; there was video footage of him outside a club arguing with a guy. The guy tried to take a swing at Nick but his security jumped in and stopped him. Apparently Nick was kissing his girlfriend in the club. My stomach dropped, he makes that happen a lot, and I wondered if he was ok. It had happened last night and I wondered what his people were going to do about the incident. Nick was clearly drunk on the video, his shirt was hanging out of his pants, his hair was everywhere and not like the groomed mess it usually was on TV appearances. I stood up and got my organizer and the phone. I just felt this need to call him and see if he were ok. My heart raced as I dialed the numbers afraid of what would happen if he answered the phone,
�Please don�t answer the phone.� I sighed in relief as he voice mail picked up automatically,
�Hi Nick�its Quinn. Just calling to see how you were doing? Um, take care of yourself ok�I hope you�re doing ok and you can call me anytime�maybe I�ll take you to a water park�bye.� Ok, that was the dumbest message on the face of the Earth and I don�t know why I did that. He probably wouldn�t even here it. He was probably getting so many calls he just turned his phone off and he was going to delete them all. I put the phone down and went back to eating as my phone rang. There is no way,
�Hello?�
�Can you believe it, did you hear about Nick?� I looked up at the TV and turned it off,
�Yeah Chris I just heard.� Chris knows my stomach turned every time I hear his name and I pray that nothing bad ever happens.
�Are you ok Quinn?� I shook my head and sighed,
�Yeah Chris I�m fine�I just hate when shit happens with him.� We sat on the phone speculating what could have happened and what he was going through and eventually she made me laugh with her Kevin impersonation of what he probably said to Nick. I looked over and we have been on the phone for almost three hours talking about everything from the Boys to her stupid puppy,
�Chris, I need to get going�I still need to take a shower and I haven�t done anything since I got home.� She sighed,
�Ok, I guess you can go.� I laughed,
�Well thank you so much.�
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Mixed Feelings
Chapter 17