Concert nights are great because it's the only time where I'm not doing anything for the moment. Usually, no matter what they are doing I�m actively working some situation. The only thing I have to do right before the show is make sure all the critics have their tickets and their seats are available. Other than that, unless there is special media access given for some behind the scenes thing they are safe from any public relations issues. Earlier one of those special cases occurred and CNN was backstage for about thirty minutes. Everyone was upbeat and happy and after the camera was gone all but one of them kept the same demeanor. AJ was the most animated, even more than Nick, but as soon as the camera was off it was like Jekyll and Hyde. His face dropped immediately and he walked out of the catering room. He went in his dressing room and closed the door. Something that I thought was interesting was that they all had their own room. Considering two of them are married I guess it's a good idea. I know if I were coming on the road to spend a limited amount of time with my husband I would want as much privacy as possible. I walked out of the catering room and ran into Pete,
"Priscilla did you go over the list of media who are supposed to be here tonight?" I nodded,
"Yes. The original reviewer for AJC can't make it. They called and I changed the name at the ticket window." He nodded,
"Good job." Since I've been in this city I haven't been able to get the name of the newspaper down. I think it's Atlanta Journal Constitution or something like that. Who knows, I won't be coming here that often anyway. I can't say I love or hate the city, I haven't seen much of it. Walking down the hall coming towards me with Candace right behind him was Nick. I wanted so badly to pull this girl aside and tell her what a prick she was dating but it was none of my business and I would probably be fired for it anyway. It wasn't worth it, I'm sure she has been treated bad by him and knows what she's into. I knocked on AJ's door and there was no answer. I stood there, not wanting to knock again and be impatient. Nick and Candace kept walking down the hall. He acknowledged my presence with that ultra cool head nod thing but didn't bother to speak. Candace smiled and almost whispered hi as she passed me by. AJ finally opened the door and smiled when he saw me,
"Hey Prissy. How are you?" Prissy, it's actually grown on me and if he ever called me anything else I would probably be slightly disappointed.
"I'm great. How about yourself?" I asked as he stepped aside and I entered his dressing room. It was the first time I had been in any of the guy's personal dressing room. I usually spent my time in the catering room or other common areas backstage. His dressing room was dim, the lights were off and there were a couple of lamps on. With the couches, the lamps and the area rug it almost looked like a room in an apartment or a home. I turned in a circle and smiled,
"Does your dressing room always look like this?" He nodded as he sat down on the couch that was partially covered by one of those slipcovers,
"Yeah, all this stuff goes with us." I will never get used to the life of a pop star,
"Are you serious? So this is what's in those trucks?" He smiled,
"Most of that is the stage and the equipment but one of the trucks has all our dressing room furniture." I nodded,
"Nice." He sighed heavily as if he was unimpressed with the whole idea of a traveling home that wasn't a trailer,
"They thought it would be nice after the rehab and all if my atmosphere was something that was constant and safe." He didn't say it as if he believed in the whole idea of it all. I can't say I blamed him. I don't see how the same furniture is expected to keep someone from wanting to drink or inject something into their body. He flipped through the channels of the TV and stopped at a commercial for some type of beer. Just when I thought he left it there too long and it probably wasn't a good idea he changed it to The Simpsons.
"Now, why don't you have a boyfriend?" I took my eyes away from Bart Simpson torturing some helpless animal and looked over to see him staring at me,
"I don't know." I can't explain the look on his face but I did know he wasn't happy with my response,
"You know why you don't have a man. Are you gay? Do you have one? Not want one? Want one but no one wants you back?" I was expecting his face to break out into some devilish smile but it didn't and he stared at me blankly. I licked my lips and my mouth moved but I wasn't saying anything for a moment.
"I just got out of a relationship. I'm not ready to get back into anything else." Again the expression was blank,
"What happened?" My relationship with Mitch was not something I wanted to talk about,
"Just wasn't working out." I was going to leave it at that but I quickly remembered vague answers were not something he liked,
"He didn't have time for me. He wasn't ready or willing to give me the commitment I wanted." He seemed satisfied with that answer and turned his attention to the TV,
"How long did you date?" How did I end up in some personal moment with AJ?
"A couple of years." His eyes widened slightly,
"A couple of years?" I nodded,
"Yeah." He laughed a little,
"It took that long to figure out he didn't want to be committed?" I really didn't appreciate it attitude and before I knew it I told him more than I wanted,
"He was married. He was always saying he was going to leave her. I was young and dumb and I believed him. I bought me a condo I figured that was like the first step but it wasn't. It was just to keep me hanging on." I stared down at my hands that were sitting in my lap almost too afraid to look up at him but curiosity got the better of me and I needed to know what he thought of me,
"Never figured you for that type." I knew exactly what he meant. He didn't know I was the home wrecker type. It wasn't something I was proud of and it was nothing I ever set out to be the other woman, some immoral tramp.
"It kind of just happened." He nodded,
"I'm sure it did." I was about to respond when in through the door entered Nick and Candace.
"Am I interrupting something?" He looked over at AJ,
"I don't want to mess up your groove." I shook my head,
"Nothing is going on." I glanced at AJ and I hope he didn't take my quick effort to clear up the situation as some type of insult. Nick flopped down on the couch next to him and Candace slowly followed standing next to him. I noticed he said I hope I didn't interrupt, it's like she is some type of accessory or something. AJ looked over at her,
"You can have a seat." Nick pulled her onto his lap and rubbed her back as she sat there stiffly. I sat there and couldn�t help but glance over at them from time to time. AJ seemed to be totally involved in the TV and I wonder if he has a problem with me now. After finding out my little secret is he going to think of me differently? I heard Candace giggling and looked over to see Nick trying to slide his hand down the back of her pants which were dangerously close to showing more than any girl would want to expose. I wanted to stand up and leave but that would bring attention to myself and now I can�t believe that I, who prided herself on being a person completely in control, am now too shy to walk out of a room. I looked up and found myself staring at Nick as he whispered in Candace�s ear and returned my gaze.
Chapter 18
Total Control
Stories