Though I'd become absorbed in pursuits of a more self-gratifying nature, I did spare a moment to slay the foul creature who's head adorns the wall behind me in this picture. The rabid beach zebra was a beast that had bitten many a fat, Speedo adorned, English touist stupid enough to seek out a picture op with the horse-like creature.
I strangled the diseased animal with the massive expanse of whiskers adorning my chin, then mounted its decapitated head on the wall of a local restaurateur's patio--for my adoring fans to bask in the greatness of my chivalrous deed.