Part 1
Willow sat at her computer and stared unseeing at the screen, there were windows open all over it and she had data wizzing past her eyes. None of it registered though, she was thinking of only one thing,
<Angel>.
She knew she shouldnt be but she couldnt help it, after all, he was Buffy`s one true love & he would never think of her like that.
<Its just hes so handsome and gorgouse and sultry, hes thoughtful and doesnt judge people, He`s a beautiful speciman of a man, well vampire>
but still, he was gorgouse none the less. And she would never have him, she was resigned to that fact.She knew and understood that was how it was meant to be, but she couldnt help wander what it would be like, to feel his cold lips on her warm ones, caressing and holding her in his arms.
<Stop that, stop that now, bad willow, he is your BEST FRIENDS boyfriend>
She had, had a crush on him for a while, a year actually, and as time went on so her crush grew to obssesion, to need and want and then finally into love. Blinding, searing, heat produceing, stars in front of the eyes, love. She knew it was wrong and there could never be anything there, so she kept her distance, and her feelings under check. She laughed and joked, smiled and said how happy she was for Angel and Buffy about how it had all worked out for them. But since Angel had come back from hell they had been getting closer as friends and developeing a bond, willow was faultering in her pretence, and when she was alone she just zoned out thinking about him and how she couldnt have him!
It hurt, it really hurt & it was all she could do not to burst into tears everytime she saw Angel and Buff together. So instead of subjecting herself to the pain she shut herself away in her room and avoided them!
Part 2
Angel was worried, infact he was more than worried. Willow hadnt done anything but go to school and go home again in about a month, she never went to research party`s, hadnt come to him at the mansion to talk and never went to the Bronze. This wasnt Willow, this was a shell of Willow, and he didnt like it! The little hacker was so firey, so full of life, babbling and blushing and smileing, but now she just sat and stared. He missed her he hadnt seen her properly with out her running away in two weeks straight, he thought maybe he had done something to affend her but she was being as aloof with everyone else, withdrawn and sad.
He had always liked the little witch, she was so warm and giveing, she was open and careing. She gave him friendship when he was convinced he deserved none. Sure Buffy loved him, but she could never except his demon, along with the man.She made the demon rage against the mental cage he was in, Angel knew that, that was half the reason he had stayed with her for so long, to piss Angelus off! He himself couldnt forget that she had sent him to hell, soul and all, and it was slowly comeing between them.He had decided to tell Buffy that they could no longer be together and go on like this, He just wasnt IN love with her anymore. He loved her but not in the way he had done in the beginning. He`d realised that the ideal of Buffy was what he had been attracted to, but their very natures demanded they be enemies. Slayer and Vampire are designed to fight, to hate, to kill. He had finally realised that the best they could hope for was friendship,which hopefuly would comfort and help the other.
But Angels worries over Willow had kept him occupied, he had decided enough was at last enough, he had to talk to Buffy and tell her how he felt. Then he would have to try and find out what was wrong with his Willow. He would be free to pursue her and to love her for all eternity! He needed her, he missed her and he was Damn Well NOT going to let her retreat inside herself like she been when he had first come upon the hellmouth. The shy retiring , self affaceing girl he had known had grown more confident and out going, he wanted her back, she would never feel about him the way he felt about her but he had to try, he couldnt live his unlife without her!
